c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

c-section moms, when did your ob say it was ok to lift your toddler?

My OB said not for 8 weeks but my 28 mo old DS is having such a hard time adjusting and so am I.

he wants me to hold him and pick him up, and give him is bath but I'm afraid to, and my mom and husband are dead set against me doing anything that might make my scar open up so they watch me like a hawk and yell at me whenever I try to hold DS.

I can't even take him to the playground bc 1) he is a runner and 2) he tends to get himself stuck on high parts and needs me to get him down.

I just feel so horrible bc I can't do any of the things I used to do with him and he can't understand why.

Everytime I pick up DD he tells me to put her down.

he's been completely regressing (pooping in his diaper when he had been using the toilet for a month already), talking in jibber jabber instead of using his words, and just having crying fits.

I feel like if I were able to do some of the things I used to do with him he would be better but right now, he just feels neglected by me.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

Oh my...hang in there. This is my worst fear when the new baby comes....

sorry that I have no other advice but that it will get better!!

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

we had a lot of movie nights in my bed.
dh and josh would go to redbox and get a movie.
josh and i would eat pretzels in bed and watch our movie while dh held baby downstairs.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

I picked up both boys the day I came home....you just have to be careful. I had a very easy recovery though.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

I had a 23 month old at home but it is exactly the same. Just tell him that mommy has a boo boo on her belly and he needs to be very careful. Have him help you as much as possible and let him be a part of the process When I would nurse the baby, I would put him on DS1's lap first, like he was going to feed the baby. I also put the diapers in his reach so he could grab the diapers for me. I would also do a lot of cuddling with DS1 on the couch As far as lifting, do you think you could put a little step stool in DS's room to allow him to climb into his crib?
Don't push yourself. This is the time for you to heal. I promise DS will not remember that for a few weeks you couldn't lift him

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

Posted by FelAndJon

I had a 23 month old at home but it is exactly the same. Just tell him that mommy has a boo boo on her belly and he needs to be very careful. Have him help you as much as possible and let him be a part of the process When I would nurse the baby, I would put him on DS1's lap first, like he was going to feed the baby. I also put the diapers in his reach so he could grab the diapers for me. I would also do a lot of cuddling with DS1 on the couch As far as lifting, do you think you could put a little step stool in DS's room to allow him to climb into his crib?
Don't push yourself. This is the time for you to heal. I promise DS will not remember that for a few weeks you couldn't lift him

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

I didn't pick Jack up for 4 weeks and that's because I basically had help. Once the help was gone I had no choice but to pick him up.

How old is your DD now? How old is your son? Some kids take awhile to adjust, but it will happen! I would try not to do too much. I would have DS climb onto the couch and hug him like that, or sit next to me while feeding the baby.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

I had this too- my DS is 34 pounds and my OB was very strict on the lifting too.

I also said Mommy had a boo-boo on her belly. Once I showed him the boo- boo (I know, but it didn't look so bad) he immediately understood and was very good.

He did regress though and act like a baby again- trying to get attention. That got a lot better though after the new baby was about 3 months old. Guess he just got used to the idea that the little one was here to stay!!

I know how you feel. But you will heal soon, and your toddler will adjust. The beginning is the hardest.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

I'm sorry I wish I had words of advice but I only have 1 but reading this makes my heart break! Idk how you mothers with more than 1 do it! Hang in there!

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

I had my 2 week check up yesterday and my OB said not for another 4 weeks.....

I understand the reason why... I really do, but it's SO unrealistic!!! My DD is 18 months old, and doesn't understand that I cannot pick her up. Today is the first day my DH is back at work (DD is actually at daycare though today, but I have to pick her up later). While I do feel remarkably good for 2 weeks post c-section, I know i need to take it easy. My MIL was ready to move in yesterday after hearing I wasn't "allowed" to lift DD for 4 more weeks!

I just try to be really careful when picking her up. Like, I will go over to the couch and tell her to come to mommy and I can pick her up that way without straining my midsection. I'm trying to come up with creative ways to pick her up. I did give her a bath the other night, while it wasn't easy, I just made sure I did it when my DH was available to lift her out of the tub and put her on the changing table.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

It's tough and even now that my DD is 4 months old, my older DD is still super jealous. But it does get better little by little.

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

Re: c-section moms with a toddler & newborn - toddler adjusting

Posted by XcalystaX

It's tough and even now that my DD is 4 months old, my older DD is still super jealous. But it does get better little by little.