c-sections moms

Is anyone sad about missing out on natural birth?

I know in the end all I care about is that Noah got here healthy and safely.....

But...When I see like a Baby story etc and see the natural birth, I get jealous. I wanted to experience that.

I felt so dissconnected to Noah and the birth in general while it was happening....

Does that feeling pass? The regret? I will never be able to have a natural birth and I feel this sense of mourning over that.

Message edited 6/22/2007 11:06:49 AM.

Re: c-sections moms

I posted this after I had Ava, I felt like a horrible failure for not being able to give birth to her the "right" way. Ontop of that, I tried to BF and she wouldn't latch, then she had such a severe allergy to milk and soy that I just couldn't do it. So, I was one big mess in the beginning. I felt like a failure constantly. But, that feeling really passed and now I am actually happy with the birth I had. The anxiety I had over giving birth naturally (meaning non-c section) was SO bad that it made me sick, and that anxiety finally went away the day my dr. told me I had to have a C section. So, I am grateful now. But I felt awful for a while about it. I think it's normal, especially with all the emotions you have swirling around after you have the baby I will try to find the thread I started. Lots of girls had nice things to say about it.

Re: c-sections moms

Yes, I definitely was sad. Katherine was an emergency c/s, and I had a semi-panic attack on the table, so I think they "medicated" me further after she came out because I don't really remember a lot--it was mostly a haze.

Then, with Abigail, I wanted to try for VBAC, but a c/s was scheduled on my due date. I could have pushed it back a week and sometimes I'm sorry I didn't because I was contracting during my c/s monitoring and I think I would have gone on my own. As my doctor was completing the surgery I asked if a 3rd baby could be VBAC . She peered over the curtain and said, "Not gonna happen!" I kind of almost missed the labor excitement this time too ("Honey, it's time!")...as crazy as that sounds!!

I've definitely moved on though even though I'll never do the whole pushing thing like you see on the Baby Story.

I'm not sure what your situation is and why you can't deliver "naturally" the next time, but the scheduled was much better, IMO, if you need to do that. And like my BF says, we'll retain our membership in the "Tight Vagina" club!

Re: c-sections moms

Saw the post Rach..Thanks

I dont feel so much like a failure and as I do feeling cheated out of what I so wanted to experience...and now that I know my cervix will never open enough to deliver naturally, I feel so let down , I cannot have that feeling of birth, of pushing a baby out, having them lay him/her on me....

The coldness and sterile envirnoment of the O/R was just so awful. Not getting to see the baby for 2-3 minutes after birth, waiting and waiting.

Its painful to remember.

Re: c-sections moms

I am sorry you feel that way, I on the other hand, do not feel that at all...I do not think I "missed out" on anything....I had a GREAT experience

Re: c-sections moms

Donna I am so sorry.

I didn't have a section but I kind of have my own spin on this.......

I got depressed after my Ava was born b/c the birth was NOTHING like I thought - especially after watching 1000 episodes of A Baby Story. I always thought I would go in, get the epidural and push and here is baby. That didnt happen.

My water broke, and off to the hospital I went. My bloodwork never came back, the doctor was MIA so no epi for me. I was literally screaming in pain and there was nothing they could do even though I was asking. 3 hours of pure torture - contractions on top of one another w/o a break. I felt the need to push and they wanted me to wait - yeah right. I have about 100 nurses in the room, my DH got shoved aside, my mom thrown out of the room and the doctor arrived *just* as I started to push. When she came out I didn't even want to look at her - it took them an HOUR to stitch me up and I was still hysterical from the experience. They didn't put her on my chest after she was born - they took her across the room and I didn't even see her until she was cleaned up.

It took me a long time to recover both emotionally and physically. To this day I even hate to think about it. It was rough.

I guess what I'm saying is even though I had the vaginal birth it wasn't what I wanted - it wasn't supposed to happen that way b/c its not what they show you on A Baby Story.

Hugs to you.

Message edited 6/22/2007 12:45:29 PM.

Re: c-sections moms

Nope I'm not upset, I'm actually happy I had a c-section.

What I have seen my sister and some friends go through after they had a natural birth was really scary (hemroids, tearing, infections, bleeding), I'm so happy I didn't have to go through all that. I didn't have any bad bleeding after my C-section, and I was up and walking around the next day, yes I had pain, but I could pee and poop fine!

ETA: I wish I could of bonded a little better with Julia after she was born, but she was in NICU for a week so I was able to see her anytime I wanted and the BF made us so close.

Message edited 6/22/2007 12:46:42 PM.

Re: c-sections moms

I feel like that all the time.

I probably always will.

Megan is 10 months old and it hasnt faded. It makes me feel better to know that she was in distress and a c section saved her life. Of course I wanted what was best for her. And of course, its not like I didnt try. I pushed for 3 hours and honestly was begging for a c by the end.

But I will always feel sad that I didnt have "that experience." I will always feel sad that they didnt place her on my chest when she was born, its just something that I felt the need to experience. I am with you and my heart goes out to you..they are all feelings that are hard to handle, especially in the beginning.

Re: c-sections moms

Re: c-sections moms

Re: c-sections moms

personally i do not regret having a c-section.. and i dont feel i missed out on anything.. i got to see kayla and hold her right away and we have been inseparable ever since... the bond between us and the love we have for each other is no different than it would have been if i did not have a c-section in my opinion.

Re: c-sections moms

Re: c-sections moms

Im not upset. I had an emergency c-section with my ds and Im just glad he came out safe and sound.I got to hold him right away and had a pic taken with him when he was a few min old he was looking right at me the nurses couldnt believe how he knew I was his mommy. So that was special enough for me. And with my DD I opted for a c-section because of all the problems with my son and all the problems my family has having children. I just wanted her safe as well.

Re: c-sections moms

Maybe it is just me for the most part then.

I dont think any less of myself for not delivering naturally, not at all.

I just wanted that experience and Its hard to not have it regardless of the outcome.

Like I said, I would have let them cut me open on the bathroom floor to get him out safely....

Maybe its b/c the vaginal birth I did have resulted in my stillborn daughter and I mourn not having one with a healthy baby in the end?

p.s My cervix has so much scar tissue on it, I was told it will never open enough to have a vaginal delivery in the future if we have more kids.

Re: c-sections moms

Re: c-sections moms

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like...but I will find something less painful in life to envy.

I was so happy to go home with stitches in my stomach rather then my down under area.

I try and focus on the fact that it was painfree, simple, and no distress at all. My baby looked picture perfect from his first breathe.

Re: c-sections moms

i don't have any sad feelings what so ever. i know a c-section is major surgery and all but def welcomed it (as if i had a choice). just thinking about having a 7lb baby come out of your you-know-what doesn't sound appealing to me at all. so.. yeh. no regrets. and my bond with my baby's still tight.

Re: c-sections moms

Nooooo way!!!!!

I think about it sometimes, then I have sex, and thank God I can do it without freaking out!

I figured - there was going to be a tear somewhere - I'm glad it was a controlled thing thru the belly. I was in, it was done, and that was it - I loved it!!!

Re: c-sections moms

I think it is natural to feel bad that things didn't go the way you had planned/hoped. You were looking forward to the delivery for so long, and probably picturing what it would be like. It totally makes sense to feel like you missed out on what you were looking forward to.

I think eventually you will feel a little better about it, but don't feel guilty if you don't.

Re: c-sections moms

Posted by Janice

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like...but I will find something less painful in life to envy.

Re: c-sections moms

Not at all!!! DS was breech so natural was never an option. The morning of the c-section the Dr. did a sono to make sure DS did not flip. I was praying he did not flip, I was not prepared for a natural birth. Now I can't wait for my next c-section so the Doc. can fix my scar!

Re: c-sections moms

I am, and I knew I would be from the moment Dr H told me I had to have a c-section. Not that I would wish to risk my baby for that experience, of course, but I wish I had the option. I also am very sad by the fact that I am more likely to have a previa if we decided to try for another, so I would almost guarantee that any future PGs would result in a c-section


BUT, I am happy that baby G came into the world safely and healthy.

Re: c-sections moms

I feel sad about not getting to experience a natural birth. Emma was breech so we knew we would get a csection. Everyone says I am crazy. DH has said we didnt have to have my water break at an unexpected time, didnt have to go through hours of pain and labor, knew when our daughter would be born. But I kind of feel like that is what childbirth is about..timing your contractions, going through labor. The main thing is that Emma was born healthy but I do feel like I missed out on something that should have been natural.

Re: c-sections moms

I don't feel sad AT ALL! I am relieved I had a c-section. To me pushing a 9lb 4oz baby out of my vagina seems un-natural! OUCH.

Re: c-sections moms

Right after I had DS1 I was terribly disappointed about my birth experience (c-section after 28 hours of labor, induced after my water broke and no contractions). I am not a big crier or one to freak out easily, but I was crying and freaking out on that operating room table while they prepped me. It was so the opposite of what I imagined and so out of my control.

For a few months after, I was still sad, but now I'm pretty much over it. I toyed with the idea of a VBAC for DS2, but ended up doing a repeat c-section because I was too worried about the risks.

I guess I can just think about my mom telling me I should be happy to have had c-sections so I didn't end up with horrible hemmorhoids!