Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

I know I've given advice so I probably need to hear my own advice thrown back at me.

Of course we all think our DC's are so cute and lovable that we can't imagine how everyone in the world wouldn't think the same, right? I am just struggling with the fact that DD's preschool, which is Montessori, isn't all lovey, dovey, and coddling. YES I said it even after I know I said that this step toward independence is so important for them.

I think a lot of this is stemming from my own insecurities and I need to let that go. DD has been "spoken" to for lack of a better time twice this week. The other day she was told not to play with the hose, she didn't listen and got wet and the teacher told me when I picked her up why her clothes were damp. The teacher didn't change her because being in wet clothes was her consequence. I was K with this. I probably would have done the same at home. Then yesterday DH picks her up and the teacher told DH that Miranda told her "NO" when she was told to clean up before moving on to another work. So the teacher told her that was fine she didn't have to clean up but she couldn't move on to something else with the other kids until she did. So she she said that Miranda sat there by herself for a minute or two and finally cleaned up. Again I have no problem with this as I know Miranda really needs the structure and the discipline that she probably didn't get with my mom the past 3 years but it's kind of eating at me that she's the "bad" kid or something. Silly I know but I just want them to like her.

Do I talk to the teachers about her? Do I ask them not to tell me about every little thing she does wrong? They do tell me good things she does or says as well or how cute her and another kid were that day and things like that but the bad stuff really stings.

I think I am having more growing pains than she is.

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

honestly I think they all go thru a period trying to figure out what their boundaries are. The new routine with school is alot for them.
I am sure everyone likes her and she is well taken care of - especially if she comes home happy and wants to go again the next day.
I feel the same way as you - I want him to be liked and have oodles of freinds, and then It makes me think that he isnt my baby anymore - but my "little man"
Hang in there!

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

I think ultimately, you need to let them do their job. Miranda just started school and once she learns what's expected of her, I have a feeling her behavior will be more than acceptable. I know it's rough to think your child is anything less then perfect. My kid was the "bad" kid as music class this summer. And the teacher still adored him.

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

I wish I had some advice. I can not even get mine to go to school with crying.

I guess I would say that your dd is normal. I am sure she is not the only student that did not clean up the first time they were asked. I am also positive that she was not the only child that tried to play with the hose. A hose and little ones is like dangling candy in front of their face. The teacher is probably just letting you know so you hear it from her first and not from your dd. I would be more upset if my child told me they got in trouble but the teacher never mentioned it.

Being a mommy is hard. Now I am off to buy the Kissing Hand in hopes that dd and I can have a drop off without hysterical crying (both of us).

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

Miranda isn't the bad kid. She's adjusting to school like every other kid.

My daughter does whatever she is told in kindergarten. Her issue is the teacher isn't going to let her sit on her lap like every other camp counselor & daycare teacher she's worked her magic on.

Sounds to me like she's already learning the rules & learning to follow them. If she sat there all day not cleaning up, then I'd say there is some defiance there. That isn't what she did.

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

Thanks for the reassurance! I know she loves it there. She never doesn't want to go and is always happy when I go to get her. I guess she's getting comfortable enough to test her boundaries with them.

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

Look, Alex has been in daycare since she was 3 months old, and you can see from my recent posts that I *still* struggle with the same thing! These are our little girls, of course we are going to worry that they are well taken care of and nurtured by their school environment.

I think it will ease your growing pains if you go in and observe Miranda in class a few times. This is always how I ease myself into a new class - that way I can see how happy she is interacting with her classmates, and her teachers, and how the teachers discipline ALL the children, and reel all of them in.

I always felt the same way as you, when Alex was younger, because she really was so spirited. I can tell you though, much of it is in your mind - I think the breaking point for me was when I observed this little girl, Avery, whom DH and I perceived to be the "favorite" angel child, have a complete and total meltdown in school, and the teacher had to remove her and dicipline her. It made me realize that all the children are grappling with this, and that's the point of school - to teach them these boundaries and how they fit into the larger social structure.

My other recommendation is to start building a relationship with her teacher. I'm not "that" parent, I don't complain - not until recently with her class situation, but I do keep the lines of communication very open with her teachers. I work from home once a week and I make it a point to come in for my lunch hour, observe Alex, and chat with her teachers. Once you get that rapport going, you'll start trusting more that they aren't treating Miranda any differently

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

Honestly I think this school sound great, I like their approach, it sounds like they correct behavior appropriately. If you don't help clean you don't get to play, ect..


I know its hard to hear that our babies are less than perfect, but you know what I bet its not just your little girl that is getting spoken to, I'm sure there are other parents hearing the same type of stuff when they pick their kids up, I would not say your little girl is the bad kid, I thik that its early in the school year and she is just getting use to and testing her new enviorment.

But none the less, I wan to give you some

Message edited 9/18/2008 11:29:17 AM.

Re: Can I be "that" preschool mom? Need advice, reassurance, whatever

Posted by Bxgell2

Look, Alex has been in daycare since she was 3 months old, and you can see from my recent posts that I *still* struggle with the same thing! These are our little girls, of course we are going to worry that they are well taken care of and nurtured by their school environment.

I think it will ease your growing pains if you go in and observe Miranda in class a few times. This is always how I ease myself into a new class - that way I can see how happy she is interacting with her classmates, and her teachers, and how the teachers discipline ALL the children, and reel all of them in.

I always felt the same way as you, when Alex was younger, because she really was so spirited. I can tell you though, much of it is in your mind - I think the breaking point for me was when I observed this little girl, Avery, whom DH and I perceived to be the "favorite" angel child, have a complete and total meltdown in school, and the teacher had to remove her and dicipline her. It made me realize that all the children are grappling with this, and that's the point of school - to teach them these boundaries and how they fit into the larger social structure.

My other recommendation is to start building a relationship with her teacher. I'm not "that" parent, I don't complain - not until recently with her class situation, but I do keep the lines of communication very open with her teachers. I work from home once a week and I make it a point to come in for my lunch hour, observe Alex, and chat with her teachers. Once you get that rapport going, you'll start trusting more that they aren't treating Miranda any differently