Can I vent for a second?

I'm sure this will be seen and will upset some, but I have to get this off my chest.

Every once in awhile, I lurk on the pregnancy board (one of my good friends is PG and I like to see her posts)

But I found a post that basically went something like this:

Oh my God, I am freaking out, my belly button popped and there is NO WAY I am walking around with a bump down there!

And it just made me and and and and because honestly--I would love for her to walk a day in our shoes.

I would give anything for my belly button to pop.

End of rant.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

When I lurk around on the other boards I choose the topics I read very carefully for that very reason. I have enough upsetting me with IF issues, I don't need to read posts that will add to it.

On an aside, I hope your post doesn't create flames. We have to remember that lots of people lurk over here also, including ladies on the PG board.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

While I agree that I hope this post does not cause flames because I am sure it was not your intent I would have to agree.

I do not know why I torture myself with reading that board.

I would give ANYTHING to gain weight, have back pain, not be able to breathe, have heartburn, a huge belly button, etc. ANYTHING.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Message edited 3/31/2008 10:24:49 PM.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Posted by MrsRivera

Posted by babyfaith


On an aside, I hope your post doesn't create flames.

Oh, I'm quite sure that it will. But I'm in one of those "f*** it, I don't care who complains" kinda moods.

But you're absolutely right--I shouldn't read things like that, because it just makes me realize how shallow some people are. If only they knew what it's like to actually have to TRY to get pregnant--I'm quite sure they wouldn't be so shallow.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

It's very upsetting. Sometimes it's better to steer clear of those posts KWIM? It's comments like those that make me want to

Re: Can I vent for a second?

I tend to avoid the pregnancy board for that reason.

Hopefully one day I'll actually make it over there!

Re: Can I vent for a second?

I know what you mean, I lurk there too, and I don't know why because its even more painful now when I read about the girls who have the same EDD that I did. For the short time I was pregnant, I didn't complain about anything - the exhaustion, the nausea, the heartburn, I welcomed it all with open arms. I think the best thing to do is to stay away from the "vent" type posts over there.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

i can't even begin to understand what you ladies are going through. i do lurk on here a lot because i always hope to see some kind of good news on here (and i "know" a couple of people on this board as well).

that being said, i think it's unreasonable to expect someone who has never gone through IF to censor their every comment. just because someone posts about not liking how their belly button looks, or how much their back hurts, or how bad their heartburn is, does not mean they aren't 1000% grateful for the baby they have growing inside them.

i know it is impossible for us (who haven't gone through IF) to truly understand what it must be like reading posts like that, but i don't think anyone did it with the intention of seeming shallow (although i have no idea, i didn't write that post maybe that person is shallow )

i don't mean for this to be mean, or nasty, or "flaming" at all - i respect every single one of you ladies for fighting this painful battle in public. i can tell you that reading your stories has made me even more grateful for my baby, and i pray every day that each of you will get that BFP you have been hoping and wishing for.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Posted by headoverheels

i can't even begin to understand what you ladies are going through. i do lurk on here a lot because i always hope to see some kind of good news on here (and i "know" a couple of people on this board as well).

that being said, i think it's unreasonable to expect someone who has never gone through IF to censor their every comment. just because someone posts about not liking how their belly button looks, or how much their back hurts, or how bad their heartburn is, does not mean they aren't 1000% grateful for the baby they have growing inside them.

i know it is impossible for us (who haven't gone through IF) to truly understand what it must be like reading posts like that, but i don't think anyone did it with the intention of seeming shallow (although i have no idea, i didn't write that post maybe that person is shallow )

i don't mean for this to be mean, or nasty, or "flaming" at all - i respect every single one of you ladies for fighting this painful battle in public. i can tell you that reading your stories has made me even more grateful for my baby, and i pray every day that each of you will get that BFP you have been hoping and wishing for.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

I wish you all TONS and TONS of baby dust



Although I have not personally experienced IF, I have seen it first hand and it must be so hard

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Posted by SweetTooth

Posted by headoverheels

i can't even begin to understand what you ladies are going through. i do lurk on here a lot because i always hope to see some kind of good news on here (and i "know" a couple of people on this board as well).

that being said, i think it's unreasonable to expect someone who has never gone through IF to censor their every comment. just because someone posts about not liking how their belly button looks, or how much their back hurts, or how bad their heartburn is, does not mean they aren't 1000% grateful for the baby they have growing inside them.

i know it is impossible for us (who haven't gone through IF) to truly understand what it must be like reading posts like that, but i don't think anyone did it with the intention of seeming shallow (although i have no idea, i didn't write that post maybe that person is shallow )

i don't mean for this to be mean, or nasty, or "flaming" at all - i respect every single one of you ladies for fighting this painful battle in public. i can tell you that reading your stories has made me even more grateful for my baby, and i pray every day that each of you will get that BFP you have been hoping and wishing for.

I don't think it was the intent of the OP or anyone else to suggest that women on the pregnancy board censor their comments or complaints. Of course, the pregnancy board is the place for that!

I think it was just more of a "I WISH I had something to complain about." type of post. Meaning - we would do anything to feel those things.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

I totally agree with you, Beth......I actually stopped going on that board for good, it just breaks my heart to read the posts.....No offense to ANYONE who is PG.....it's just too painful for me to read.....

Re: Can I vent for a second?

honestly, I don't really read much or lurk much on the pregnancy board because it does upset me, and I do long to feel what those women are so blessed to feel. However, with that said.. this IF board is our safe haven, or at least it should be. We should be able to vent about things without having to worry what lurkers might think. I'm not saying that we should feel entitled to vent about anything and everything because we are going through IF, but we shouldn't worry about being flamed for what we do feel and want to express at times here on this board.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

vent away!!!

Re: Can I vent for a second?

I know I am so sensitive. I have friends IRL, some of whom have even gone through IF who complain constantly about MS, Swelling, discomfort. I am sure they are uncomfortable but its hard to hear the complaints all of the time. I would love to have MS now.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Re: Can I vent for a second?

I understand what you mean, as someone who went through IF and is now on the other side. Dealing with IF, on whatever level, has a huge impact on your life and changes you. I think the blessing of becoming PG after IF is something we celebrate yet have so much worry over, especially when there has been a previous loss. It takes some time to adjust. I can only speak for myself but I stay aware of/take joy in the blessing I have now, and am very aware of not complaining about the little things (except to DH when my body is so worn down). But, everybody's perspectives are different, which we all know. On the flipside, I come back to the IF boards to see how everyone is doing and to send out prayers and good thoughts. I try not to post often and to be selective yet to be helpful, supportive, and respectful when I do.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Its very rough to read anything when your dealing with IF, but I will play devils advocate and say I have been on both sides.

I tried for a long time to get PG and after my IVF I did , and I thanked God, but there were times when It was ROUGh...my PG was life altering awful and my complaining about it, had nothing to do with knowing inside how truly lucky I am and was to even have him.

I always try to remember a quote
"Be kind because everyones fighting their own battles"

I hope it gets easier for you!

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Yeah, I can't even go on the PG board. For a while I even stayed away from the TTC board.

Re: Can I vent for a second?

Posted by MrsRivera

Posted by headoverheels


that being said, i think it's unreasonable to expect someone who has never gone through IF to censor their every comment. just because someone posts about not liking how their belly button looks, or how much their back hurts, or how bad their heartburn is, does not mean they aren't 1000% grateful for the baby they have growing inside them.

oh, I absolutely agree with you 100%. I didn't mean it as "they should be censoring comments like that on their own board". I didn't mean that at ALL.

It's just frustrating from our side, because something like that seems so trivial to us--especially when we deal with endless sonograms, bloodwork, injections, medication side-effects, etc. etc.

I didn't mean disrespect to anyone. This is just my place to come and vent about things like this, to other people whom I know will understand.