Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

So in DH's famliy there are alot of kids. It was getting expensive for everyone to buy all of the kids gifts so 2 years ago we did a secret santa where each couple got 1 kid to buy a really good present for. It worked out great IMO because of instead of a bunch of cheap presents they got 1-2 really good expensive gifts. Well, some people ( the ones with kids) did not like this idea because they would rther have more presents for their kids to open, choosing quantity over quality. So last year we went back to the old way, everyone buys for all kids.
So yesterday - only 2 weeks before christmas - DH gets an email from his sister sent to all siblings, saying that she decided it was best to do the secret santa for kids again this year. And sent a list with who has who.
Am I wrong to be annoyed? First of all it is only 2 weeks beofre Christmas. I already did most of my shopping. I already have gifts for everyone. Second, why don't we all get to decide what to do? I would have been all for the secret santa IF WE WOULD HAVE DISCUSSED IT EARLIER. it is a little too late now. DH told me to unwrap the gifts and return them, but I don't want to do that.
It is wrong of me to write back saying that 2 weeks before is a little late to decide this, that we will still participate and buy our secret santa gift, but I will also be giving the gifts I already bought and wrapped. And I don't expect any gifts in return for Landon. DH thinks that is rude - what do you think?

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

Honestely, I don't think your wrong at ALL! And I also agree, that EVERYONE should be able to decide how it's handled.
How do the other siblings feel about this last minute change.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

I think you should send the email. You are probably not the only one feeling this way.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

I don't think it is rude of you at all.

I think it is rude first - that she states this 2 weeks before Christmas

Second, that she did it by email, cause she didn't want to deal with telling everyone herself

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

I don't know, we haven't talked to anyone about it. My guess is the ones that didn't want to do it last year (ones with kids) are mad, and the ones without kids are happy.
There is always drama because the ones without kids feel they get nothing in return. (person who wrote this email.)

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

That's nuts! I guess since she obviously didn't get most of her shopping done yet it works for her. I would def. say something to let her know that you've already purchased all of your gifts being that it is only 2 weeks before Christmas!
I also agree with you that this should have been a group decision.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

There are a couple things I disagree with here...

1. Your SIL had NO business deciding on her own that this year would be a secret santa. She should have at least confirmed with everyone that this was what everyone wanted to do.

2. She was wrong for deciding this just two weeks before Christmas.

As for you contacting her - I think your husband should say something not you. This is his sister and if he's really as annoyed as you are then he should address it.

Even if it doesn't change anything for this year at least he can throw it out there that she can't just decide arbitrarily what everyone is doing this year.

Do you know why she made this decision so suddenly? Like is there a sibling who is struggling financially? I could understand if that was the case but again she should have said something sooner and if she didn't know until recently she should have called and explained fully rather than an email.

And lastly, I agree with you still giving the gifts you've already purchased. You've made the investment financially and more so with your time so why not give the gifts anyway.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

Send send send.... She's nuts to send something like that 2 weeks before Christmas... ESP. to those with children who may not have the luxury of waiting around until 2 weeks before to even start shopping.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

I'd tell her that you'd be happy to revisit Secret Santa NEXT year as you have already purchased presents for each kid this year.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

Usually we decide on Thanksgiving but this year we weren't together on Thanksgiving.
The email also asks everyone to chip in for a present for FIL. So now that another present I have to return

ETA: I am going to send the email. I'll let you all know what happens. Its OK that I send it and not DH, I have been with DH for almost 12 years now so I am pretty close with his family.

Message edited 12/12/2008 12:54:32 PM.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

I agree that she had NO right to make the decision on her own and especially 2 weeks before Christmas. I think everyone should have been included in the decision (Siblings, BIL,SIL, SO)

I like the idea osaying that you'll be glad to revisit Secret Santa NEXT YEAR.

Or another option is unwrap them & use them as b-day gifts through the year.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

Posted by julz33

Usually we decide on Thanksgiving but this year we weren't together on Thanksgiving.
The email also asks everyone to chip in for a present for FIL. So now that another present I have to return

ETA: I am going to send the email. I'll let you all know what happens. Its OK that I send it and not DH, I have been with DH for almost 12 years now so I am pretty close with his family.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

So the person who sent the email that wants to do Secret Santa doesn't have kids? If that is correct, I think it means she hasn't done her shopping or suddenly realized she didn't budget enough to get gifts for all the nieces and nephews and panicked, thus sending the email.

I would do what you are planning - give all the gifts out and get the SS gift too. Let the chips fall where they may. Landon is too young to know what's going on and 2 weeks before Christmas is craziness. I only have one more gift to get to finish my shopping and with a one year old and working FT, I am not even sure when I will find the time to get that one. There is no way I would start returning stuff now. I would also just give your FIL whatever you already bought and let the SIL who sent the email cover the extra $$ for his gift since she decided what it would be without checking with you first.

Re: Christmas Gifts - VENT and a question

That is soooo rude to do 2 weeks before Xmas. I would be fuming!