CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

DS still wakes up at least once a night whining/whimpering/crying.... But usually goes right back to sleep within less than a couple of minutes. I have a few questions...

But first, I feel like the worst mommy in the world. Last night he woke at 1am (which is MUCH earlier than he normally does) and whined/cried/moved around until almost 1:45. I CANNOT go in his room at all or he will not go back to sleep. Did I leave him alone too long? I feel so awful, but want him to continue on his good sleep habits....


1. Is this normal to wake almost EVERY night whining/crying?

2. DS is 11 months old, can he be getting his molars already?

3. Do you know if cutting molars can cause congestion and coughing? He's not sick, just has a little cough and his nose sounds stuffy quite a bit.

4. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, am I a mean mommy for leaving him in his crib alone last night for so long?

Sorry this is so long. I just feel awful this mornign about last night and CANNOT get my mind off of it for the life of me!

TIA for any help you can give me!

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

We are going through the same thing right now and my DS is going to be 1 the end of the month

But, I have learned that if I go in there it turns into an even bigger disaster. He isn't actually wide awake and crying....he is kind of asleep and whimpering and almost looks like he is trying to get comfortable. I have let him do it for about the same amount of time, and it kills me but I know if I go in there he will wake up.

No advice on the teething

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

You are a great mommy You are teaching him to sooth himself to sleep, you didn't do anything wrong

Yes he can be getting his 1 year molars

Babies go through Rem/waking cycles just like we do, he could be whining cause he's up then goes back to sleep.

When my DD cut her molars, she had more saliva, and she would cough sometimes cause it tickled her throat

I don't think you did anything wrong, your DC is just like mine, if i go in, it makes is 10000x worse.
My DD's move around their cribs all night long, they still sleep very well, i never go in unless they are flat out up, wide awake, screaming crying top of their lungs for at least a min or two, which is rare for my older one, my younger one has been waking up for feedings, but we still don't go in unless we know she's up and crying for food.

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

You are NOT a terrible mom! not at all!! as long as your DS wasn't screaming bloody murder for a long period of time and you ignored it, i wouldn't worry. i sort of do the same thing w/ DD. she is 9 months and is thankfully a good sleeper. i think she is that way b/c i don't run into her room for every single cry or yell. when i hear her cry out in the middle of the night- i listen carefully to the cry. most of the time it is just that crying whine and i let her be, knowing that if i went in, it would all be over! i know that she is safe in her crib and not in pain. if she was, she'd be screaming.
so-that said you didn't do anything wrong! sometimes it's good to also let them soothe themselves back to sleep. i think it's better than them depending on you.
it is also totally possible that he is teething and that the pain is just interrupting his sleep.
see, your a good mommy just for even worrying about this!

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

Thank you both! I just feel so terrible today that he was up crying for that long last night. I just wanted to run in his room this morning and hug him before I left for work, but I don't think my DH would have appreciated that since he is home with him today... and it was only 6am....

This is the second hardest part of being a new mommy, the nighttime. The only thing worse that this is when DS is sick. The middle of the night has been my nemesis (sp) for almost a year now!

Message edited 3/13/2008 9:36:55 AM.

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

Posted by ME75

You are NOT a terrible mom! not at all!! as long as your DS wasn't screaming bloody murder for a long period of time and you ignored it, i wouldn't worry. i sort of do the same thing w/ DD. she is 9 months and is thankfully a good sleeper. i think she is that way b/c i don't run into her room for every single cry or yell. when i hear her cry out in the middle of the night- i listen carefully to the cry. most of the time it is just that crying whine and i let her be, knowing that if i went in, it would all be over! i know that she is safe in her crib and not in pain. if she was, she'd be screaming.
so-that said you didn't do anything wrong! sometimes it's good to also let them soothe themselves back to sleep. i think it's better than them depending on you.
it is also totally possible that he is teething and that the pain is just interrupting his sleep.
see, your a good mommy just for even worrying about this!

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

You are NOT a bad mommy

It sounds pretty normal for that age. At least, Steven was pretty similar. I started making DH go in to give him a bottle or lay him back down. After a few weeks, he stopped waking up all together. DH doesn't give in as easily as I do

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

Went through the same thing with DS. I would have to give him a little milk to get him back to sleep. At least your son eventually falls asleep on his own. Hearing the crying is torturous but you have to be consistant and just continue doing what works best for you and him.

I know the bad mommy feeling I let DS cry the other night and I just felt horrible. He did go back to sleep soundly after about 20min.

Re: CIO Mommies...... HELP.. Feel like a terrible Mommy...

Thank you thank you thank you all soooo much! It really helps just to know that I'm not being "lazy" or a bad mommy by doing this, and that other people are going through this as well.... Thanks so much!