Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

Not even sure where to post this. But how often do you get to travel?

DH & I travel at least 3x per year! Two international 1 domestic trip. We just got back from St. Maarten; and are already planning a trip to Europe next year for our anniversary.

Maybe I'm being sensitive; but we keep getting from people "you're going away again" you just came back etc. "aren't you lucky to go away again" why don't you guys have kids etc.

I just laugh it off; but the reality is we've made the choice to be child-free at the moment. So we have the ability to travel as much as we want. We're enjoying our married life together for now and when we do have kids; I'm sure we'll be taking family trips as well b/c travel is just in our blood.

ALL of our friends except 1 or 2 people have kids-weather they're married or not. So they don't always get to even take 1 vacation a year. Just finding it a little annoying every time we get a comment. I didn't even tell some people about the last trip; just to avoid any comments.

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

For the ones who say "you're going away again" I would just respond with "yes, we are". I mean what other response do they expect?
For those who say "why don't you have kids already" I would just say (not that I think it's their business) "one of the reasons we are waiting to have kids is so we can enjoy our time together now and take vacations that we want to."
People have to put their noses in everything.

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

For the people who say this...

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

When someone says something like that to me I usually say:
"I chose XYZ, you chose kids."

Such as:
"Wow, you're going on vacation AGAIN?"
"Yep - I chose vacations, you chose kids"

Then they usually retort with
"Well, we really didn't choose kids...."
and I will just roll my eyes and say "We all make our choices in life."

Nice tie in to the posts on FHF about actively preventing pregnancy...



ETA: What irks me more is the "It must be nice" comments.

"You're going on vacation AGAIN? Must be nice to be you..."

So I will usually reply and say "Why yes, yes it is, thanks for noticing."

Message edited 9/22/2011 1:16:13 PM.

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

Thanks for all the suggestions!!

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

I am sorry that you have to put up with that. The ugly, inconvenient truth is that some people with kids are unnaturally preoccupied wth how happy and fulfilled people without kids can feel.

Similarly, some people without kids are unnaturally preoccupied with how into being parents people with kids can be and how much of their lives they're fine with being taken up by their children.

The unnatural preoccupation usually suggests that these people are not as OK as they want others to think they are with their own choices and circumstances.

Everyone that I know who's truly happy doesn't feel the need to judge, pity, or otherwise make passive agressive comments about those who have what they don't or lack what they have.

Keep being fabulous, and know that some people will want you to feel incomplete or guilty or like you're missing out because that's how they really feel. Enjoy your travels!

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

DH and I travel about 3x a year as well - and at least 1 trip every year is either across the country or overseas. I enjoy traveling, and while DH is more of a homebody, if he doesnt want to go - I usually drag a girlfriend with me.

We've been lucky not to have any of our friends who have children say anything like that to us..Most of the comments (if any) I get over Facebook is along the lines of "wow, I am so jealous, wish we had the time to just take off on a great trip!" or "have a margarita for me and the kids!! enjoy it".
My friends are aware that DH and I are CF and plan to remain that way for quite some time - so there is no feelings of animosity, resentment, etc between us. Different strokes for different folks. Any "friend" who would make such back-handed 'compliments' like that to me and DH probably isnt a friend in my book.

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

See and I dont see it as a kids no kids comment but as a money no money comment.

When I was single I traveled all the time. Since DH & I have been together we try to get one trip in a year but it is mostly due to finances whether we can go or not.

That will be the same once we have our first in January

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

Yeah we get this a lot too. We're travelling all the time. I mean domestically about 5-6 times a year, weekend drives all the time. Havent done international in a few years, doing more usa touring to promote us economy.

I ignore the comments and just carry on happily. I know people are jealous that we're packing bags and theyre unpacking diapers.

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

I am a parent. Plain and simple, I don't even know you and I am jealous.

I love my DS to death, but when I hear my CF friends talk about travelling, I realize how much I miss taking trips that are not that child friendly. I miss being spontaneous and going for a long weekend without a big plan ahead of time. I miss not having to pack 500 things for the kid before I even get to pack my own stuff, and guess who's stuff I usually forget?

We are getting ready for our first vacation in 4 years. I am excited about it, but your trips are far more fabulous!
Enjoy!

Re: Comments from friends with kids re: Travel

Posted by Blazesyth

When someone says something like that to me I usually say:
"I chose XYZ, you chose kids."

Such as:
"Wow, you're going on vacation AGAIN?"
"Yep - I chose vacations, you chose kids"

Then they usually retort with
"Well, we really didn't choose kids...."
and I will just roll my eyes and say "We all make our choices in life."

Nice tie in to the posts on FHF about actively preventing pregnancy...



ETA: What irks me more is the "It must be nice" comments.

"You're going on vacation AGAIN? Must be nice to be you..."

So I will usually reply and say "Why yes, yes it is, thanks for noticing."

this is great!