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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Could you forgive?
I just wanted some non biased insight....but dont feel comfortable keeping my story up on here.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their thoughts and opionions. 
Message edited 3/14/2006 3:56:40 PM.
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Posted 3/14/06 3:12 PM  |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Could you forgive?
WOW...thats a tough situation. Maybe you can have lunch with her and decide if you could actaully haver her back in your life and if so, maybe make a slow move to do it.
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:14 PM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you forgive?
I am so sorry. I don't know what to say but I'm sorry that you have been put through all of this.
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:15 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you forgive?
I don't know if I have any good advice for you except that I think that right now you need someone to be THERE for you...something that apparently your mother couldn't do.  It might cause you more hurt to reach out to her now in your time of need.
I think that once you are more stable, contacting her would not be a bad idea at all.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:16 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Could you forgive?
If you are having even the slightest inclination to contact her, you need to do it. NOW. I have been estranged from my father for years and he passed away yesterday. I am still sure in my decision to have let the relationship go where it did but two of my brothers and my sister are not. They're having a very hard time right now feeling guilty on top of all of us dealing with the loss. If you choose not to pursue a relationship, be 100% in your decision. One day you will get a phone call saying she's gone, whether it's tomorrow (god forbid!) or 25 years from now and you don't want to have any regrets at all.
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:16 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you forgive?
Leeners, I'm sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:17 PM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you forgive?
Posted by Leeners
If you are having even the slightest inclination to contact her, you need to do it. NOW. I have been estranged from my father for years and he passed away yesterday. I am still sure in my decision to have let the relationship go where it did but two of my brothers and my sister are not. They're having a very hard time right now feeling guilty on top of all of us dealing with the loss. If you choose not to pursue a relationship, be 100% in your decision. One day you will get a phone call saying she's gone, whether it's tomorrow (god forbid!) or 25 years from now and you don't want to have any regrets at all.
Im so sorry for your loss.
I understand what you are saying...i think i want her in my life for more selfish reasons. It's been a year since my husband left...and im ok...but so badly want family....its hard knowing she's out there on LI. I live in Manhatten....
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:20 PM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Could you forgive?
Posted by Lisa
WOW...thats a tough situation. Maybe you can have lunch with her and decide if you could actaully haver her back in your life and if so, maybe make a slow move to do it.
I agree. Even if you never fell like she's a "mom" to you. You might get a friend out of it. And if it doesn't work out at least you know that you tried & you can never have any regrets.
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:22 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you forgive?
Posted by BabyAvocado
I don't know if I have any good advice for you except that I think that right now you need someone to be THERE for you...something that apparently your mother couldn't do. It might cause you more hurt to reach out to her now in your time of need.
I think that once you are more stable, contacting her would not be a bad idea at all.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
It is a very hard call. Only you can really tell what is right for you.
But, I agree with Baby Avocado. You need someone steady and reliable to help you through this. I don't think you should approach your mom when you need something from her (support). If you want to get to know her, it should be from a place of your own strength. But as Leeners pointed out- time can be fleeting and you never know can happen.
Also Leeners, so sorry for your loss 
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:25 PM |
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CAJ
woulda, coulda, shoulda
Member since 12/05 3366 total posts
Name:
CJ
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Re: Could you forgive?
It tough good luck on whatever you decide...I would not contact her...out of respect for my Father but that just me....
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:29 PM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
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Re: Could you forgive?
Posted by Lisa
WOW...thats a tough situation. Maybe you can have lunch with her and decide if you could actaully haver her back in your life and if so, maybe make a slow move to do it.
Sorry that you are going through a situation like this.
I personally feel that a decision like this can be different for each person. But like Lisa, I feel that perhaps you can contact her and have some lunch and see what path this relationship takes. Sometimes we find the greatest rewards when we just take a step to something that is unknown and we are not 100% certain. Yes, your mother probably made that decision years ago and just the fact that she wanted to be closer in your life perhaps it means she can be the support to whatever extend you can allow her in your life. I think you just need to make sure that you are ready to embrace this new relationship without any judgments or expectations. I'm one of those who believe that it's better not to live life with what if or any regrets. It is a tough decision that you have to make but as long as you follow your heart, you can never be wrong.
It seems to me that you are in a road of new beginnings.....just remember that now matter how lonely we feel, we are truly never alone. Just the fact that you are considering this shows what a great, sensitive, and compassionate human being you are.
I said contact her once you feel in your heart that you can put everything aside and get to know her. Perhaps a brief meeting with her can let you decide.
I'm sorry about your father's loss....
Best of luck in whatever you decide.....
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| Posted 3/14/06 3:41 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you forgive?
I read your post earlier but didn't get a chance to respond.
I wish my answer would be that I would forgive but I think it's not something I would be able to find out until I got to know her more, the situation, etc. I know, for me, I'd rather know that I did everything I could to work this out (even if it meant feeling that loss all over again), then living with the regret of not trying.
Best of luck whichever way you decide.
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| Posted 3/14/06 8:25 PM |
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