crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

hello! sorry to be crashing the Parenting board but I'm trying to figure some things out and was hoping that some of the lovely moms here would be able to help answer a few questions... here goes!

1. would you be able to recommend a great pediatrician in the Manhasset/Great Neck area?

2. have you tried or checked out the Ikea Hensvik/Hemnes crib? how was it?

3. if you needed to register/buy bare essentials for baby (we're on a tight budget), what would they be?

4. dh and my parents are super eager to come over after baby is born but i'm not sure if i'll be up to it. how soon after your baby's birth did you feel recovered enough to have visitors stay? dh's mom wants to stay for about a month, thinking she'll be taking care of the baby but i am planning on breastfeeding. she'll probably help cook too -- would that be helpful?

5. if you tried the cry it out method, how soon did you start?

i know the questions are all over the place but i figure it'd be better to consolidate rather than start 5 different posts Thank you so much in advance for taking the time to read this post, your help and advice!!

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

1. sorry don't know

2. It looked like a good crib, we almost got it, but we got lucky and our parents splurged on a designer crib for DS.

3. Honestly, I would follow this advice next time around. We wasted so much money on the so called "essentials"
What will my baby really need?
In addition, some infants need to be swaddled to get sleep, I highly recommend the miracle blanket for this. Regular receiving blankets are too difficult to swaddle well with, even though that's what we used, wish we had a miracle blanket, I give them as gifts .


4. If your comfortable with DH's mom, accept the offer and take it, you will need a lot of help. Infants don't sleep long intervals, so you'll be exhausted.


5. I started sleep training at 3m, most doctors will say as long as baby doesn't need to eat, you can let them cry. Some doctors say once they reach 12lbs you can expect them to sleep through the night.

I wasn't comfortable with crying that early. I did something like this
Pick Up/Put Down method At 6m I did "cry it out" and he cried for 15 min at the most.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

regarding #4.....if you have someone who wants to stay with you and help....def. take them up on it!! i remember begging my mom to come over just so i could talke a shower lol

as long as she wont be too intrusive, i would take her up on her offer!!! even tho you are bf, there is still sooo much that she can help with.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

The only one I am going to comment on is #3 because that's really the only one I can answer from experience.

Having someone stay in your house as soon as you come home with the baby is tough. I had a scheduled c/s and my DH's mom and grandmother live in Florida and wanted to be here for the birth and then stay to help (ie. cleaning the house, cooking, taking care of the baby so I could sleep).

I don't know about you but I am kind of a control freak and while this was a nice gesture for them to want to be here to do all of those things I found that they were not helpful at all (except for the cooking part). I like things done a certain way and everything has its own place. When I would see that something was out of place I just put it in its place but after a few times of doing this I would get snarky comments from DH's mom or she would say something to DH.

I also felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own house because if I did something I knew there would be a comment made to DH.

They also got "bored" during the day and would take the car and go shopping--which was fine with me because that just meant I was home alone with the baby. But my thought was that if you were coming here to help then why didn't you help, kwim?

I know I did things in the house that I shouldn't have been doing days after having a c/s but stuff was driving me crazy and I couldn't just let it go--control freak

So my advice to you is....make sure that you will be 100% ok with someone else living in your house for a month because you don't want this situation to cause a rift in the family.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

I love Dr. Rubin - she is one of the best on the Island. She is in Mineola. She is also a lactation consultant. The practice name is happy and healthy pediatrics...check her hour. Everyone I have refered to her...loves her!

You def. need a bouncy seat or swing, miracle blanket and crib!

I started a modified version of cry it out around 12/14 weeks.

I was not up for visitors for a while. I had baby blues and was BF...so my mom came to stay with me about a month later.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

Can't answer 1, 2 or 5 but...

3. if you needed to register/buy bare essentials for baby (we're on a tight budget), what would they be?

Diapers, wipes, swing, bouncer, car seat, snap n go stroller, onesies, sleepers, burp cloths

4. dh and my parents are super eager to come over after baby is born but i'm not sure if i'll be up to it. how soon after your baby's birth did you feel recovered enough to have visitors stay? dh's mom wants to stay for about a month, thinking she'll be taking care of the baby but i am planning on breastfeeding. she'll probably help cook too -- would that be helpful?

My mom and sister flew down from NY the day she was born and stayed for 10 days. My dad and wife too but they stayed in a hotel. MIL/FIL/SIL, etc were all over just about every day or chance they could get. I never thought not to have them stay. I EBF but they helped with a ton of other things like laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. It was great!

Message edited 10/26/2011 4:39:03 PM.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

First, congrats!! I can't answer all of your questions, but these I can...

3. if you needed to register/buy bare essentials for baby (we're on a tight budget), what would they be?

Clothes, sleep n' plays, diapers, wipes, vaseline or some sort of diaper cream, bath stuff (shampoo, bath wash, bath tub), car seat, and swaddle blankets. If you don't want to buy a crib right away, baby can always sleep in the FP Rock n' Play Sleeper, which is pretty cheap. That's all you really NEED in the beginning. And if BFing doesn't work for you, you'll need formula, bottles, and a brush to clean the bottles.

4. dh and my parents are super eager to come over after baby is born but i'm not sure if i'll be up to it. how soon after your baby's birth did you feel recovered enough to have visitors stay? dh's mom wants to stay for about a month, thinking she'll be taking care of the baby but i am planning on breastfeeding. she'll probably help cook too -- would that be helpful?

Take help whenever you can get it! My MIL cooked for us for the first couple of weeks and it was great. I would have never been able to cook those first couple of weeks. And anytime someone can take care of the baby so you can shower or nap, let them.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

3. if you needed to register/buy bare essentials for baby (we're on a tight budget), what would they be?

Bare essentials:
- Crib/sleeper of some sort (honestly...I don't think there is much of a difference)
- Diapers
- Wipes
- Infant tub (the ones where they are semi-sitting)

Some kids like swings, some like bouncers... you could wait & test your kid out.

4. dh and my parents are super eager to come over after baby is born but i'm not sure if i'll be up to it. how soon after your baby's birth did you feel recovered enough to have visitors stay? dh's mom wants to stay for about a month, thinking she'll be taking care of the baby but i am planning on breastfeeding. she'll probably help cook too -- would that be helpful?

Get people to bring you food. I did NOT want anyone staying over. MIL was much more of a hassle than a help. If you are breast feeding, they cannot help you all that much ANYWAY. Diaper changing is no big deal.

5. if you tried the cry it out method, how soon did you start?

Exactly 2 months (Ferber). Worked until 8 months. All downhill from there, but at least I got 6 months out of it.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

thanks so much for sharing your experience so far! these are great, please keep them coming!!!

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

Is Williston Park too far for you? My ped is the greatest. Dr. Arnie Chusid. He's on Hillside Avenue.

The essentials are: crib, bouncy seat, swing, newborn to toddler bath, sound machine, video monitor, exercauser (as of 4 mnths)

I wouldn't want someone in my house for a month. Does your MIL live far?

You can't do CIO until a baby is 6 mnths old.

Message edited 10/27/2011 9:12:45 PM.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

1. would you be able to recommend a great pediatrician in the Manhasset/Great Neck area?

No, sorry.....I am in Stony Brook!

2. have you tried or checked out the Ikea Hensvik/Hemnes crib? how was it?

Nope

3. if you needed to register/buy bare essentials for baby (we're on a tight budget), what would they be?

FP Newborn to Toddler Rocker (my DD lived in it, she LOVED it), Tiny Love Mobile (this kept her busy forever), a playmat, Playtex Drop In Bottles, cloth diapers (make the BEST burp cloths), infant bathtub, Halo Sleep Sack, a spacious diaper bag, a baby monitor (not the video ones).

4. dh and my parents are super eager to come over after baby is born but i'm not sure if i'll be up to it. how soon after your baby's birth did you feel recovered enough to have visitors stay? dh's mom wants to stay for about a month, thinking she'll be taking care of the baby but i am planning on breastfeeding. she'll probably help cook too -- would that be helpful?

I had people stopping by the day we got home and all throughout the first week but there is NO way I would want ANYONE staying with me in those first few months. NO way!! I wanted to figure out our own routines and I wanted to get adjusted without people up in my face all the time. My mom came over a lot and brought dinner and helped out but ultimately, I was happy at the end of the day to be alone with DH and DD. To have someone for a month would've made me INSANE. NOT my thing!! I *personally* would find that more intrusive than helpful but that's just me. I like to do things on my own and I like my privacy.

5. if you tried the cry it out method, how soon did you start?

I didn't need to, my DD started STTN at 8 weeks old BUT if she hadn't, I wouldn't have used CIO until at least 6 months old. I'm a BIG believer in not forcing anything with a NB. The whole sleep training thing to me with a NB is not necessary. I always followed my DD's lead and it's worked out great!

Message edited 10/27/2011 9:25:29 PM.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

My mom is still staying with us (she'll stay 3 weeks total.) It has caused some tension with DH, but the help she is providing through laundry (our laundry is in our basement), cooking, cleaning and helping change DS is amazing.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

1. MDs4Kids - Dr. Gerba, Dr. Russ or Dr. Mirkin, all great! They are right on Northern Blvd, mds4kids.com

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

Bare essential: burp cloths, nursing pillow...I use both the breast friend & boppy & like both, breast pads-don't waste $$ on the disposable-they are not as comfy, I use the reusable kind, infant seat, swing, place for baby to sleep (dd sleeps in our room in pnp bassinet). I'm not ready to move her to her crib. baby bath/towels & washcloths, sleep & play outfits from Carters ( look for sales on their website!), receiving blankets.

If you want to EBF, I HIGHLY recommend The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I trust this book more than my ped when it comes to bfing, and I've relied on it since the hospital tried to force formula down my DDs throat ( she had low blood sugar at birth).

I personally would not want any family staying/hovering around in the beginning until breastfeeding is established. I find ppl try to "help" or offer advice that make you undermine your decisions & instincts. I EBF and feed on demand and even my own mom tried to tell me I was doing it wrong (I've now breastfed DD longer than my mom bf me). Also, you will want to bf anywhere w/o having to worry about covering up. I practically walked around topless in the beginning. So IMO, eat takeout and let the house be messy, but dont let ppl stay!

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

1. would you be able to recommend a great pediatrician in the Manhasset/Great Neck area?
Cant help here, sorry.

2. have you tried or checked out the Ikea Hensvik/Hemnes crib? how was it?
I did not, but my experience with Ikea furniture is none too good. I would never consider buying a crib there. We got ours from JCPenny catalog and its beautiful, well made, and half the price of ones that are sold in babies R us.

3. if you needed to register/buy bare essentials for baby (we're on a tight budget), what would they be?
Oneises, burp cloths, receiving blankets, bottles (i used Dr. Browns and loved those), diapers (newborn, size 1), wipes, heavier blankets, paci's, some sort of swing or bouncy thin (this may come in very handy with a fussy baby, infant carrier/travel system.

4. dh and my parents are super eager to come over after baby is born but i'm not sure if i'll be up to it. how soon after your baby's birth did you feel recovered enough to have visitors stay? dh's mom wants to stay for about a month, thinking she'll be taking care of the baby but i am planning on breastfeeding. she'll probably help cook too -- would that be helpful?
I didnt have anyone at home with me after the baby arrived except DH for the first week. after that I was on my own. If my mother or MIL were here for a month, i'd kill myself. Maybe they can stay a week or so, but I think a month would make me nuts.

5. if you tried the cry it out method, how soon did you start? CIO isnt recommended until 6mo old.

Message edited 10/28/2011 6:35:58 AM.

Re: crashing from pregnancy board with a few questions for moms willing to share their advice...

you gals have been super helpful. thank you!!!