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runlikethewind
Love my babies!
Member since 12/06 2941 total posts
Name:
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cross post - some devastating news
I thought I'd post my birth experience on here, but it is not a completely happy one. This will probably be my last post on here, as this is the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through and I need to break away from reminders for a little while.
My twin boys were ready to arrive last week. I was not feeling well last Monday and was contracting a lot, so my doctor told me to come down to the hospital. I was 36 weeks, 4 days pregnant, so that is a typical time to deliver twins. When I got to the hospital, I was still contracting and was told this was the night. My doctor was not happy with the reads on one of the babies on the NST and suggested strongly that I have a c-section. Baby A came out, not crying and tons of NiCU staff around. Baby B was crying and appeared normal. I was sort of out of it from the anesthesia, but felt something was up. After I was brought into recovery, my OB came in to tell me that Baby A was not doing well - when my water broke, there was meconium in his sac. It appeared that he released it in the sac (when normally babies release it after birth). The NICU staff was desperately trying to recover him as he was not breathing on his own. Two hours later, we learned that we had lost him. Ryan Charles was taken away from us. Apparently he somehow got an infection called pseudomonas that caused him a great deal of distress and did not allow him to survive once outside of me. We were able to hold him and it was a moment that I never imagined I would ever experience.
Our other baby, Justin David survived. He has been in a NICU nursery, the area that they consider the "graduate" area from the NICU. As a precaution, he has been on antibiotics to ensure if he did indeed catch the same infection, it would be taken care of. Knock on wood, he has shown no signs of it and is doing great. He was in his own sac, which most likely protected him, but we also believe that had he stayed in me much longer, he could have passed away as well. I constantly worry about him as I truly believe he is our miracle baby. We are told that he could come home this Tuesday.
Now we are just dealing with the devastation of our loss, all the tears, the questions of why, along with the new miracle that is in our lives. It has been an emotional rollercoaster and I sometimes blame myself - was I not in touch with my body enough to recognize a problem and maybe Ryan would have made it. I know that doctors have told me there was nothing I could have done - all of my testing was perfect. Just three days early, the reads on the babies were perfect. My OBs are even in shock and do not know how this happened, it is extremely rare. I cry when I see Justin because I love him so much and think of how I could have easily lost him as well. I want to move forward and be able to take care of him, but it's so scary and I hope I will know the right thing to do.
We are having a service tomorrow for Ryan Charles at a children's cemetery.
Thanks for listening and I wish everyone the best of luck.
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Posted 8/10/08 12:31 PM  |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
God bless you and your family.
 
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| Posted 8/10/08 2:35 PM |
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marycpa
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/07 635 total posts
Name:
Mary
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
 I am so sorry.
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| Posted 8/10/08 2:48 PM |
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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
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| Posted 8/10/08 5:59 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry for your loss........
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| Posted 8/10/08 6:11 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry for your loss
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| Posted 8/10/08 7:00 PM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry for your loss!!
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| Posted 8/10/08 8:27 PM |
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Tracey
***********
Member since 5/05 6297 total posts
Name:
Tracey - brideinapril
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so very sorry.......
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| Posted 8/10/08 8:45 PM |
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MrsSunflwr29
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1093 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I cant even imagine how you are feeling. I lost my sister 2 months before having my boys and it is a roller coaster. I know it is a completely different situation but make sure you take care of yourself and give yourself plenty of time to grieve.
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| Posted 8/10/08 9:09 PM |
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burberrygirl
so happy!!
Member since 1/07 2091 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
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| Posted 8/10/08 9:18 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I'm am so sorry for your loss. Many prayers to you and your family and God Bless little Ryan.
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| Posted 8/10/08 9:29 PM |
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msrsfeb
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 1277 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
God Bless you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.
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| Posted 8/10/08 9:39 PM |
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Sharon
So Big... So Fast!
Member since 5/05 2959 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
My heart is breaking for you. You and your family will be in my prayers. Rest in peace Baby Ryan.
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| Posted 8/10/08 11:15 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
OMG, I am so sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 8/11/08 6:44 AM |
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halisa
adore
Member since 7/06 2168 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
i am so sorry for your loss. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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| Posted 8/11/08 7:19 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am sooooooooooo sorry...I really am..I send you hugs and prayers,even thought right now that means squat....
Some things that happen realllllllllllly are inexcusable.
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| Posted 8/11/08 7:51 AM |
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Luv2bAmom
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1255 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so very sorry for your loss, I willkeep you and your family in my thoughts & prayers.
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| Posted 8/11/08 9:37 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry for your loss....my prayers for you and your family and your precious angel
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:39 AM |
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Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
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| Posted 8/11/08 12:21 PM |
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ann814
LIF Infant
Member since 9/06 203 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so so so very sorry
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| Posted 8/11/08 7:17 PM |
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I'm so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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| Posted 8/11/08 10:54 PM |
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AlohaMa
Never Forget
Member since 2/06 2735 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I'm am so, so, so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
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| Posted 8/12/08 8:12 AM |
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MelissaMac
Life is Good
Member since 6/06 2135 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
My prayers and thoughts are with you during this extremely difficult time.
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| Posted 8/12/08 10:59 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am SO sorry for your loss! My prayers go out to you & your family. And of course to your angel baby Ryan Charles.
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| Posted 8/14/08 8:19 AM |
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Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: cross post - some devastating news
I am so sorry to hear this. Many hugs and prayers for your family
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| Posted 8/14/08 11:10 AM |
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