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Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
Posted by Journey33
Posted by Jax430
Great topic for discussion. DH and I also struggled with the issue of creating embryos now for future use...it's just weird to think about our children all coming from embryos that were fertilized at the same time, and then being born years apart.
I didnt even think of that but you're so right! What a concept!! but each egg/sperm are competely different so it would essentially be just like an entirely different time!
In our case, we decided to donate any leftover embryos to science, once we are done having children. Personally, we couldn't live with the idea of our biological children walking around somewhere without us knowing. Additionally, I have a chromosomal issue, so there's a good chance a lot of my embies aren't good, but I'm hopeful that studying them will be useful in developing new IF treatments.
Best of luck with your decision. 
Thanks! I also always wondered if we donated to anotehr couple.. what if our children met and fell in love and didnt know they were related! 
Just so you know, if you choose to donate an embryo to anohter couple, most cryobanks have registries for this express purpose. Donor babies grow up and can choose to find out who their "half siblings" are. Other families meet while the children are still young so they grow up knowing one another. To each his own. But in the grand scheme of life, the chances of 2 half siblings finding each other and falling in love? Very slim. Personally, I wouldn't base my decision off of it.
Also, dealing with male infertility now, I have a totally different perspective on donor sperm and eggs. I am SO THANKFUL for men and women who choose to be donors. They give couples a chance to be parents who otherwise might never have been able to. I think donating embryos to another couple or to research science is could be my way of giving back. If I could help another couple have a child, I most certainly would.
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Posted 1/11/12 10:11 PM  |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
Posted by InShock
Posted by Journey33
I struggle with the morality behind creting human life and discarding it.
I have HUGE moral issues with IVF. HUGE. And I struggle daily with the decisions I've made during my approaching-3 years of infertility. I spent a YEAR doing things the "Catholic" way (NaProTechnology) which didn't work out for me, so I ended up going against every moral I have, and turned to IVF.
That said, I think by NOT freezing your embryos, you're essentially destroying them (letting them die out) and not giving them any chance at life at all. One of the things I discussed with my doctor was that I DIDN'T want tons and tons of embryos, because I didn't want to have to face the decision of what to do with 10+ frozen potential children.
As "luck" had it, I never did make tons of follicles, and after my first IVF, I had none to freeze (ended in chemical) and then my 2nd IVF, we had 5 to freeze (ended in m/c at 10 weeks) and now I'm moving onto an FET with those 5. If, GOD WILLING, this FET is successful, I will have 3 frozens left ... and you bet I'll be giving them a chance one day. Just because that's what feels right to me. (and even though my doc says they're not the best quality)
I guess I'm sorta babbling here about my own stuff - but my point is - I think you're really smart and thoughtful for thinking all this through. The reality is, we all have our own morals and beliefs on this stuff, and what's right for me, won't necessarily be right for you, etc.
Isn't it funny what IF can make us do. I don't eat meat or seafood, yet after struggling for a while I now take fish oil daily. It was hard for me to do so, but wanting a baby ruled over the little fish.
When I was applying for IVF DH and I had to decide on the spot what to do with any frozen embies if we both passed away. We had the same choices and we picked to destroy, but after that it made me think a bit.
Now I currently have 9 frosties, they use the best ones first and I figure some may never make the thaw, or if they do they may never implant.
So I like having them as a back up plan and choose to not think about what and if until I am done having children.
I was also raised Catholic but for me it isn't something I really struggle with, I don't believe it is a baby until it has started growing in a person. Yes I would be a bit sad if I had some to destroy but I'd get over it really quickly if I had babies instead.
I wouldn't try to limit your cycle. You never know if you take home baby could be in there! Good luck with your decision.
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| Posted 1/12/12 9:04 AM |
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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
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Shiv
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
I absolutely understand what your struggling with and I was the same exact way. I don't think you are over-thinking at all, it's good that you are questioning each option because you have to be completely comfortable with what you choose.
I am also Irish catholic and the actual IVF prodecure never really bothered me. What bothered me was the creation of embryos just to be destroyed at a later point. I believe life begins at conception and I don't agree with the destruction or donation of embryos to science because that is ending a life.
The only way I felt comfortable with going through IVF was to have my dr. fully understand my views and adjust the cycle to be in line with them. We decided we would limit the number of egg fertilized to no more than 15. In addition, as the embryos were growing we ensured that no embryos were discarded until they full arrested. So if an embryo was a very bad grade and was not growing as well, they would keep the embryo growing until it had fully arrested. Same thing with frozen- we ensured that ALL embryos living on day 5 were frozen. This went against RE's policy, however they made an exception for me. On our paperwork, we put that in the event of the death of both of us, we would leave the embryos to my sister. She would find an agency to donate them to another couple.
I researched embryo adoption agencies, I looked at the different terms and felt very comfortable with this option in case we had more embryos left than we could use. It really is a wonderful thing to donate.
Here's how it all went:
1st IVF I had 14 eggs, 13 fertilized, 6 made it to day 5, they put 2 back and frooze the remaining 4. 2 of the frozen were good quality and the other 2 were not good. I had one DS.
FET- thawed all 4 embryos, only 2 survived the thaw. Had a chemical pregnancy
2nd IVF- because we already had one child, it was even more important to have fewer embryos this time. RE reduced my meds and I got 6 eggs, and 4 fertilized. We put back 2 on day 3 and the remaining 2 did not make it to freeze. We are now pregnant with twins and have no embryos left over.
So it all worked out really perfect for us, but it was because we took the measures that we did.
FM me anytime, I know exactly what your going through! Good luck!!
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| Posted 1/12/12 2:01 PM |
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RGEC47
Feeling blessed!
Member since 11/09 3039 total posts
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Rosa
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
We alos struggled with the idea of what to decide, especially since the wording "destroy" is used. We took it step by step.
First we decided to freeze knowing that an IVF cycle is not a guarantee and would not want to go through another fresh cycle, if we didn't have to.
Then we thought about what we would do with the remaining embryos after we are done with having children. When we signed the papers we decided to donate them to another couple and/or science. We figure if we could help out in anyway another couple we would, especially knowing how dificult this process is.
Thankfully what you decide on today for the remaining embryos can always change. So whatever you decide today, might not be what will acutally happen later on.
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| Posted 1/12/12 2:31 PM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
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Cathy
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
great topic!
Message edited 1/12/2012 6:01:14 PM.
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| Posted 1/12/12 5:58 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
It is a very interesting conversation since there is always the debate of whether life starts at conception or birth. Those embryos would be considered conception, technically. This also goes into the whole embyonic stem cell debate. In Judaism, the life starting at conception is not really emphasized. Actually in the torah it says a baby isn't fully human until half way out of it's mothers womb. Also, it allows for abortion if the woman's life it at risk. Keep in mind orthodox Jews tend to be pro-life, except when the mother's life is at risk, and less religious Jews tend to have very liberal views about abortion. It's probably not a coincidence that Israel is the leader on embryonic stem cell research, they offer free IVF to all residents, and they created a brand-new procedure, in which germs from infertile male mice were turned into sperm. Hence, this could be the next phase of reproductive techonology. Anyway, life is precious. We need to reproduce in any way we can to keep the human race going.
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| Posted 1/12/12 9:08 PM |
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Journey33
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1402 total posts
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
Posted by Ellebelle1
It is a very interesting conversation since there is always the debate of whether life starts at conception or birth. Those embryos would be considered conception, technically. This also goes into the whole embyonic stem cell debate. In Judaism, the life starting at conception is not really emphasized. Actually in the torah it says a baby isn't fully human until half way out of it's mothers womb. Also, it allows for abortion if the woman's life it at risk. Keep in mind orthodox Jews tend to be pro-life, except when the mother's life is at risk, and less religious Jews tend to have very liberal views about abortion. It's probably not a coincidence that Israel is the leader on embryonic stem cell research, they offer free IVF to all residents, and they created a brand-new procedure, in which germs from infertile male mice were turned into sperm. Hence, this could be the next phase of reproductive techonology. Anyway, life is precious. We need to reproduce in any way we can to keep the human race going.
WOW! That is amazing!!
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| Posted 1/12/12 9:36 PM |
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babyfaith
Onward and Upward!
Member since 2/08 3210 total posts
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Re: Cryopreservation-Im strruggling-no drama please!
We had 11 frozen after IVF and chose to donate unused to science. For us this option was better than destroying and donating to an infertile couple was not something we were interested in.
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| Posted 1/16/12 8:35 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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