Day care mommies

There's a possibility that I might have to put Michael in day care for a couple of days a week since its getting really busy here at work and I need to come back on Fridays most likely starting in September. While I always thought I wanted to put Michael in daycare since I think its so great for them developmentally, now that its time to do it I am a mess. I feel guilty, unsure, confused and I just don't know if it the right thing to do. I am worried that he cannot speak yet and that strangers will be changing him, that he will not get the love and 100% attention that he is getting now from his grandma and his aunt. He is such a great and happy baby, and is developing so well that I am almost scared to death that this will change when he goes to daycare. I wish I could wait another year, but the time has come when I need to put him in for at least one day since spots are limited in this daycare and he's been on the wait list before he was even born! Its a great place, it really is, but its more me...I am so confused. I'm sorry for rambling here, but I jsut need to get it out and hear your perspective on this. Sometimes I feel so guilty, like I should be staying home with him and taking care of him, but the truth is that we need two incomes, there are so many goals we want to achieve in order to give Michael a great future and great opportunities, but at the same time, I don't want DS to pay for it...God forbid something happening to him or something worst While I know everything is going to be ok, there is that part of me that is just so all over the place emotionally. Thank you for letting me vent.

Re: Day care mommies

Nothing is going to ease your mind until you get to know the daycare center and really have the opportunity to make a decision.

But I will say that we are very happy to have Lucas in daycare and I firmly believe that many of his acheivements come from being around other children, watching and learning from them, as well as the environment at our center which really has an educational focus. So as far as development...I personally feel that our daycare center makes it a priority to give him opportunities to reach his milestones.

No one will ever care for your child the way you do...no matter who they are or how much you pay them. Nothing can replace a mother's devotion and dedication. Yes, there are times where I vent about something or other with daycare but in the grand scheme of things it has more to do with my expections...not poor care. I'm tough...I know it...I have high expectations of people because I have high expectations of myself. I am learning to relax but at the same time if something bothers me I am learning to speak up. It all works out.

My son adores his teachers and they adore him. Every morning that we walk into the center there are a handful of hellos coming his way (and I don't even know half of the people...can't wait for him to talk so I can ask him )

Re: Day care mommies

I understand completely how you feel. It was very hard for me to put dd in daycare. I felt guilty, thinking that someone else would be raising my child, that she won't know me etc. That first day I dropped her off, I cried.
Now, one month later I realize it is a great decision that I made. DD is doing wonderfully in daycare. The people all love her and take such good care of her. And she is getting used to being around other adults and children, which is healthy for her (my niece has only been around her mom since birth---she is now 3 y.o. and does not even talk to anyone else besides her mom and dad). And I think I'm a better mom because I am around other adults, working.
I think that once you get to know the people who will be taking care of your child, you will feel more comfortable.

Re: Day care mommies

try to hang in there! I think every mommy has the same worries with their DC in daycare. I am dreading the day that I have to drop her off!

Re: Day care mommies

Today I almost cried when I looked at DS through the glass at daycare and I was thinking the same thing...it has been a thought for the 6 months he has been in there.

Then I pull myself together and think...he IS happy there. The teachers take such good care of him. He is always happy when I pick him up and he loves his little friends in the class.

I try EVERYDAY to make the most of the hours I have with him in the morning and night and on weekends...I hope down the line he will be better off for the early socialization.

Its hard..but we cant do it on one income either...not unless we move upstate and I just love NYC too much for that

Re: Day care mommies

I felt the same way before I put DD in daycare. Before and during my pregnancy, I was always the "my child will go to daycare and it will be good for her" person...

But when it came time to putting her in, I was a mess...I cried for the whole week before I went back to work. I was feeling the same things you mention - the guilt over not being able to stay home, worrying how she will adjust to other people taking care of her, worrying how they will take care of her and if they'll do it "right."

But you know what...those fears faded. And while I would love to be at home with DD, I think it's good for both of us. She LOVES it at her daycare...she loves the other kids, the providers. Lately, when I go to pick her up, she cries because she doesn't want to leave!!

I think that all of us daycare moms go through this. I think you just have to trust your gut as to what is right for you and your child...

Re: Day care mommies

The two weeks before I brought DS to daycare I cried. I cried everytime I changed him b/c I knew some other "stranger" would be changing him. However, after spending time with his childcare providers before he started daycare and after he started made me feel a lot better. Am I thrilled about the situation - no, but I am not unhappy either. it takes getting used to. i am worried that he will forget me or I am doing "damage" to him by sending him to daycare, but you have to remember millions of children are in daycare. I know of some children of family members that were home with their moms and they are screwed up! You are never going to find anyone that loves your child as much as you - you shouldn't either! But as my childcare provider said, "he is my son until you come get him" and that made me feel better.