Day care moms...please help calm me down!

DC is starting day care and I am just so torn up about it. We were going back and forth deciding whether to do day care or try to find a nanny and decided that day care would be good for him in terms of socializing, and having licensed professionals around. But now that it is actually happening, I am so nervous and having all sorts of irrational fears, like some madman is going to storm the center and steal children, or a teacher will look away and he will get seriously hurt, or my son will hate me forever for leaving him there all day. Ugh, how do I get over this???

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

It does get easier. It got easy for me when they give me her "Stat Sheet" and it says that she slept 5 hours out of the 8 she was there. She sleeps great at day care and the other three hours are playing, eating, etc.

So I feel like of she was sleeping anyway;why shouldn't I be working? That is how I get through it. It is very hard and the fist time I had to leave her was unbearable. Just know it does get easier and the day will go by fast, I promise.

Message edited 7/4/2007 11:33:11 AM.

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

1 - your child won't hate you for leaving him at daycare. There were definitely be those tough days were drop-off makes you want to cry but in general if you approach it as matter-of-factly as you can, they accept it. At 3, my son used to cry that he didn't want to go to school. I would tell him "that's the schedule. You go to school. I go to work. I don't like the schedule either. I wish I could stay home too but we can't."

2. Madman rarely storm daycares. Almost every daycare has security, codes, etc. If you think of the rage today, it's teens more than anything else (I'll edit this when your ds is in high school). The worst situation would be a child custody case, in which case they are already trained to deal with something like that and they only want their kid. I've seen my daycare workers stop a new father at the door because he didn't have the code. All he wanted was information on the school. He had his baby with him.

3. You have more than one person watching your child. More importantly, you have more than one person watching the person watching your teacher. He's going to get sick, get bumps, scrapes & probably bit at some point. It happens. It's part of life. He's also going to get his feelings hurt at some point when he's older. It will hurt you at the time, but he will survive. He will develop a stronger immune system; he will learn how to deal with peers; he will learn how to manipulate adults.

4. With a daycare, you will get crafts. Unless you have a GREAT nanny, you're not getting crafts. Nothing makes my heart melt like seeing little handprint & footprint wreaths, ornaments, etc.

It's never easy handing your child over to someone else to watch. It does get easier, but it's never easy. We all do what's right for us & our family. If you think leaving them is tough, wait until they don't mind that you go.

Message edited 7/4/2007 11:49:28 AM.

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

I love the fact that Cailen is in a daycare center. All they do is tend to him all day, interact with him... he loves going there, and loves the other kids. Plus, there are supervisors in and out of the room all day. I couldnt be happier!!!

ETA - Barb, I couldnt agree with you more!!!

Message edited 7/4/2007 12:03:47 PM.

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

Such great responses, thanks for taking the time. In my head I know that tons of kids go to day care and are happy and healthy, but in my heart I just want to take him away somewhere that I can be with him all the time (and where it doesnt cost tons of money just to survive!)

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

We thought long and hard about the idea sending my DS to daycare because we have family available to help but our schedules are so long it wouldn't be fair to them. We gave it a shot and by day 3 he was smiling when getting out of the car to go. He's happier with day care on board. It makees me feel like a bad parent because he's happier now then when we were taking it on ourselves but without siblings and the old system of all the kids in the park all day, it's a great thing for my DC. He thrives on activity and lots of other people.

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

My son has been in a daycare situation for about six months now and its fantastic. He absolutely loves it, the girls love him, they feed him great food, they play all day long. He loves the other kids. I thought about going down the childminder route, but Noah is so social. When he comes home, he is so tired from having FUN! all day. I can't provide him with fun all day...so its great!

It was hard at first dropping him off and stuff, but it does get easier once they start to build relationships with the girls there.

Good luck!

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

DD was in daycare for five months (I'm home for the summer for two months now) & I'm so glad we went with daycare rather than a nanny or even a family member. DD gets tons of attention, plays all day, goes to music, art, walks- and she's not even a year old!! Sure she gets sick occassionally, gets bumps & bruises, but she does that at home too! I actually think she might be bored at home with me- I don't do nearly as many activities as they do!

Of course you're nervous- we all were at first. But it can be a great experience for kids. Good luck!

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

Hi. I will be going back to work on August 6 and my son will be starting daycare the following week. I am also terribly torn about this. I wish I could be a SAHM, but we would have to struggle too much. We decided it would be better for DS in the long run to have financial stability by me working than to struggle terribly his whole chilhood. Plus, I'm hoping that daycare will teach DS to be a social, happy, well adjusted child. He'll be 16 weeks when he starts. My parents live an hour away so as much as we see them on the weekends, they wouldn't be able to watch him on a daily basis (as much as they would love to).

I'm sure our children will thrive in daycare. Maybe we can support each other through it!

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

Posted by nrthshgrl

1 - your child won't hate you for leaving him at daycare. There were definitely be those tough days were drop-off makes you want to cry but in general if you approach it as matter-of-factly as you can, they accept it. At 3, my son used to cry that he didn't want to go to school. I would tell him "that's the schedule. You go to school. I go to work. I don't like the schedule either. I wish I could stay home too but we can't."

2. Madman rarely storm daycares. Almost every daycare has security, codes, etc. If you think of the rage today, it's teens more than anything else (I'll edit this when your ds is in high school). The worst situation would be a child custody case, in which case they are already trained to deal with something like that and they only want their kid. I've seen my daycare workers stop a new father at the door because he didn't have the code. All he wanted was information on the school. He had his baby with him.

3. You have more than one person watching your child. More importantly, you have more than one person watching the person watching your teacher. He's going to get sick, get bumps, scrapes & probably bit at some point. It happens. It's part of life. He's also going to get his feelings hurt at some point when he's older. It will hurt you at the time, but he will survive. He will develop a stronger immune system; he will learn how to deal with peers; he will learn how to manipulate adults.

4. With a daycare, you will get crafts. Unless you have a GREAT nanny, you're not getting crafts. Nothing makes my heart melt like seeing little handprint & footprint wreaths, ornaments, etc.

It's never easy handing your child over to someone else to watch. It does get easier, but it's never easy. We all do what's right for us & our family. If you think leaving them is tough, wait until they don't mind that you go.

Message edited 7/5/2007 10:48:25 AM.

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

We toiled with this too - we were torn between daycare and using an Israeli au-pair (DH is Israeli - would help for our daughter learning Hebrew). We ultimately chose daycare, and I couldn't be happier.

Personally, I really like that my daughter spends time with a variety of kids, and a variety of teachers - she's learning to form bonds with many people, not just one. My daughter now has a favorite teacher, and 3 best friends at school (and a boyfriend, to boot!), and she's only 21 months! And the educational benefits at daycare are just phenomenal. My daughter learned sign language (she had a vocabulary of about 50 words) at school, and now she's in camp, learning Yoga

Will they give your child the same one-on-one attention that a nanny would? No, of course not, but in my opinion, I think that's a benefit, not a drawback. In daycare my daughter has learned to stretch her limits, test her boundaries and become an independent little girl. I prefer that she learn that the world does not revolve around her, and her only (though she would definitely prefer it that way! ). It just helps to create a curious, well-rounded, independent little kid, and I agree with Barb - the crafts that come home just melt my heart away.

On a safety note - most of these schools are very safe - we have to sign our daughter in and out, there is a password to get into the school, and the teachers never let our little ones out of their site. And, personally, I prefer that she's in a setting with several teachers, rather than just one person. I think it's a much safer environment, particularly for those days when she's ultra-cranky. They can just pass her around, to relieve the frustration.

Re: Day care moms...please help calm me down!

I feel your pain DD starts daycare on 7/16 - and I will be very emotional but I have alot of faith that this is the best choice for all of us right now and I agree with everything all the other mommies said.!!