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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by Sunny10
Why? Because Ive seen people do this daily. It bothers me and yes I was guilty of it yesterday even though I made sure it was stationary when I left it, but I would NEVER approach someones car, bang on window and tell them what they did and call them a fuc$ing *****. It wasnt like he just alerted me what happened. He was a nutjob and I am beside myself how I handled it. Maybe just maybe I could see if it was his car how he could go nuts but I cant imagine witnessing this and aggressively stand over someones car screaming profanities. Not okay. As I said, I see this daily.
So, because other people do it, it's ok for you to do it? How about EVERYONE try better to do the right thing and not use the excuse "well everyone else does..." Serioulsy a cop out.
I know you are getting a lot of grief here for leaving the cart - because it was the wrong thing to do. But, it does not excuse what that man did - he was also VERY wrong. No one has a right to yell and curse at someone else. But, the way you've written about your reasons and excuses, it's not gonna fly here (or anywhere)
I see this daily. I am one if tge people that always puts my cart away. I was trying to get back in car with my mom waiting for me. Not right at all what happened to cart. But what is more wrong, me not putting cart away or someone verbally attacking me to the point I was terified? I think we would have hit him if we tried to drive away, as he was leaning on my car. Im upset how I handled this crazy nutjob. I didnt come on here to get lashed out on how to return a cart. I see peoples carts all over on long island daily. I have bangs all over my car. I think I will delete this post
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Posted 4/2/19 10:18 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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curley999
Family!
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Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
I try to put the cart back, however there are times I don't and honestly I dont feel bad about it. Specifically when it is dark or quiet in the lot or anything makes me feel the slightest bit uneasy where I dont feel 100% safe, its not worth the risk to me these days. In your situation I likely would have apologized at first but when realizing he was rude and out of hand I would drive away giving him the finger likely. Not saying that's right to do at all but likely what would have occurred.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:18 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by JennP
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by JandJ1224
Whoa! That sounds incredibly scary. I had someone come up to me in a parking lot and bang on my window asking for money once. I was with my kids and terrified. I drove away quickly. I can't imagine how scary to have someone cursing at you. Certainly your mom should not have left the car. There are a lot of unstable mentally ill people in this world and you don't know what someone is capable of.
I can't believe how much everyone is attacking you for leaving cart. I must live in an area full of inconsiderate people because I would say this is the norm in my area. A ding from a cart is really a first world type of problem in opinion....
Having to pay out of my own pocket to get a huge ding or scratch removed from my car before I have to return the lease all due to other people's pure laziness is not a first world problem in my opinion.
Unless you have a disability or medical condition that prohibits you from walking long distances, everyone in this country could use a few extra steps and some exercise.
Just saying.
I was going to reply that I agree that it seems like people are being harsh.
I do see your point, though, about having to foot the bill for someone's screw up. (Off topic, but that's largely why I never lease.)
However, I think context matters here. She posted because she's clearly rattled by what happened. Nothing justifies his actions. And frankly, I'm sick of the misogynist undercurrents that frame anonymous attacks like this. I suspect he would never have said anything like that to a man.
I’m sure he wouldn’t be that aggressive is there was a man in the car. There were two times where a guy cursed me out and I brushed it off at first time and when they kept on: I said do you want to get out fight? Do you want to get f#cked up by a girl? And they literally peeled off or left. It was for stupid minor things. One of them was us trying to get in the same lane with out seeing each other (no accident), and another time was because a guy was literally blocking me while I was parked. He got mad because I needed him to move. To the point where he said this what Trump is talking about Lol. The look on his face when i said “stupid ass, I’m Puerto Rican, US citizen. Go read a book and educate yourself”
I don’t think the two men expected me to talk back.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:21 AM |
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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by JandJ1224
Whoa! That sounds incredibly scary. I had someone come up to me in a parking lot and bang on my window asking for money once. I was with my kids and terrified. I drove away quickly. I can't imagine how scary to have someone cursing at you. Certainly your mom should not have left the car. There are a lot of unstable mentally ill people in this world and you don't know what someone is capable of.
I can't believe how much everyone is attacking you for leaving cart. I must live in an area full of inconsiderate people because I would say this is the norm in my area. A ding from a cart is really a first world type of problem in opinion....
Thank you for hearing what I was saying. Doesnt make it right but its the norm where I shop. I was looking for insight on what anyone else woukd have done in this vulnerable situation. Instead its an attack. And who are alll these people that puts tgeir carts away? Not where I shop. They are everywhere.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:22 AM |
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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
I’m not even going to go into detail about the shopping cart because I feel like that’s a separate thread. Basically, you should put it back.
That guys reaction was ridiculous regardless of whether he was mad because it was his car or not. You don’t bang on someone car window and confront them like that. You never know who you are approaching. Same way you didn’t know if he had a gun or was unhinged; he also didn’t know if you had a gun or was crazy. That’s not how you approach a situation because then things will escalate very quickly. Trust me as a former hot head who still can get pretty amped up, it’s not worth it in the end.
I’m sorry you were scared and don’t get upset at yourself. The man startled you and your reaction wasn’t abnormal. Just learn from it and next time peel off. Also tell your mom to never get out the car. Especially in Florida where it seems to be the norm to kill someone during a confrontation and get away with it. That’s the last place I would be fighting with anyone.
I 100% agree that this man was in the wrong and completely unhinged.
His behavior was completely unjustified and I'd have been shaken up by it too.
Thank you
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:24 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by Sunny10
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Katareen
You were both wrong
You should’ve taken one minute to put the cart back properly
He shouldn’t have screamed like a lunatic
Absolutely this!
And as a side note, if I was the person who's car was hit by your cart I'd be grateful to him for stopping you and making you aware....even though you did not address that damage at all.
Why does it matter that it wasn't his car??
Why? Because Ive seen people do this daily. It bothers me and yes I was guilty of it yesterday even though I made sure it was stationary when I left it, but I would NEVER approach someones car, bang on window and tell them what they did and call them a fuc$ing *****. It wasnt like he just alerted me what happened. He was a nutjob and I am beside myself how I handled it. Maybe just maybe I could see if it was his car how he could go nuts but I cant imagine witnessing this and aggressively stand over someones car screaming profanities. Not okay. As I said, I see this daily.
I'm sorry he screamed at you. I'm sure that was very scary, especially when you don't know how far someone is going to take it or what they'll do next when they're in that state.
But you caused damage to someone else's property, which triggered this whole incident. And now you're being very dismissive of that huge part of the story, like it shouldn't be relevant. But it absolutely is relevant.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:27 AM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Sunny10
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Katareen
You were both wrong
You should’ve taken one minute to put the cart back properly
He shouldn’t have screamed like a lunatic
Absolutely this!
And as a side note, if I was the person who's car was hit by your cart I'd be grateful to him for stopping you and making you aware....even though you did not address that damage at all.
Why does it matter that it wasn't his car??
Why? Because Ive seen people do this daily. It bothers me and yes I was guilty of it yesterday even though I made sure it was stationary when I left it, but I would NEVER approach someones car, bang on window and tell them what they did and call them a fuc$ing *****. It wasnt like he just alerted me what happened. He was a nutjob and I am beside myself how I handled it. Maybe just maybe I could see if it was his car how he could go nuts but I cant imagine witnessing this and aggressively stand over someones car screaming profanities. Not okay. As I said, I see this daily.
I'm sorry he screamed at you. I'm sure that was very scary, especially when you don't know how far someone is going to take it or what they'll do next when they're in that state.
But you caused damage to someone else's property, which triggered this whole incident. And now you're being very dismissive of that huge part of the story, like it shouldn't be relevant. But it absolutely is relevant.
I'm not sure how you could know there was damage when the original poster doesn't even know if that is the case....
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:38 AM |
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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by JandJ1224
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Sunny10
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Katareen
You were both wrong
You should’ve taken one minute to put the cart back properly
He shouldn’t have screamed like a lunatic
Absolutely this!
And as a side note, if I was the person who's car was hit by your cart I'd be grateful to him for stopping you and making you aware....even though you did not address that damage at all.
Why does it matter that it wasn't his car??
Why? Because Ive seen people do this daily. It bothers me and yes I was guilty of it yesterday even though I made sure it was stationary when I left it, but I would NEVER approach someones car, bang on window and tell them what they did and call them a fuc$ing *****. It wasnt like he just alerted me what happened. He was a nutjob and I am beside myself how I handled it. Maybe just maybe I could see if it was his car how he could go nuts but I cant imagine witnessing this and aggressively stand over someones car screaming profanities. Not okay. As I said, I see this daily.
I'm sorry he screamed at you. I'm sure that was very scary, especially when you don't know how far someone is going to take it or what they'll do next when they're in that state.
But you caused damage to someone else's property, which triggered this whole incident. And now you're being very dismissive of that huge part of the story, like it shouldn't be relevant. But it absolutely is relevant.
I'm not sure how you could know there was damage when the original poster doesn't even know if that is the case....
Thank you for clarifying. I never said there was damage to a car. I also said leaving cart was wrong.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:43 AM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by BargainMama
I would have put the cart back in the cart corral.
As far as the man, I would chalk it up to him being unstable. I would be mad if a cart rolled into my car because someone didn't put it back. But, he seems like he was a little extreme about the whole thing
Totally this.
Guy wasn't playing with a full deck.
I probably would have rolled down the window also; so don't beat yourself up for it.
Not sure I would've called the cops though. By the time they came; he would've been gone. I feel sometimes; in cases like this, there isn't a thing they can pretty much do.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:44 AM |
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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Where are all the people that leave 20 carts I see in each parking lot? Wow, just wanted to see how others woukd have handled this unfortunate situation that ruined my day here. I guess I deserved this terrifying verbal assault from a stranger at my car consudering what I did, didnt put my cart back. It was illegal what he did vs me leaving a cart. Shocked this turned into me being so horrible as not to put a cart back
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:48 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
I’d love to know where all of you shop that people don’t leave carts. I often attempt to pull into multiple spots until I find one without a cart.
I always put my cart away. I park as close as I can to the corral and worry that someone is going to call the cops on me for leaving DD in the car for 10 seconds because you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
OP, this guy sounds nuts. You handled it better than I would have because I’d have started screaming right back like a lunatic.
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| Posted 4/2/19 10:56 AM |
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
....
Message edited 3/29/2020 4:51:05 PM.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:03 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by LuckyStar
I’d love to know where all of you shop that people don’t leave carts. I often attempt to pull into multiple spots until I find one without a cart.
I always put my cart away. I park as close as I can to the corral and worry that someone is going to call the cops on me for leaving DD in the car for 10 seconds because you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
OP, this guy sounds nuts. You handled it better than I would have because I’d have started screaming right back like a lunatic.
No trust me I see it EVERYWHERE. And it pisses me off.
I think that is what people were getting at. Like everyone does it and it's annoying.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:05 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
I am confused
You acknowledged that you were aware that the cart hit a vehicle. However, it never occurred to you to check on the vehicle or leave a note if vehicle was damaged?
Message edited 4/2/2019 11:06:40 AM.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:05 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
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Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Okay can we please get off our high horses about the cart? While I'm usually a stickler about putting the cart back, I can honestly say there are times I don't. (Pouring rain or my kids are in the car and the coral is far). And I'm sure everyone here is guilty of not putting it back every single time.
Point is... Guy was nuts. Glad you're ok.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:08 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Btw, it is ALWAYS Trader Joe’s.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/caseyrackham/wait-is-this-hell
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:09 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I’d love to know where all of you shop that people don’t leave carts. I often attempt to pull into multiple spots until I find one without a cart.
I always put my cart away. I park as close as I can to the corral and worry that someone is going to call the cops on me for leaving DD in the car for 10 seconds because you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
OP, this guy sounds nuts. You handled it better than I would have because I’d have started screaming right back like a lunatic.
No trust me I see it EVERYWHERE. And it pisses me off.
I think that is what people were getting at. Like everyone does it and it's annoying.
I just re-scrolled, you’re right.
This is why I buy everything online. It’s 2019 people. Parking lots are so 10 years ago.
I do go to Trader joe’s though. I went yesterday with DD and as we pulled in she said “mommy remember the f word isn’t nice to say.” So there’s that.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:14 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by MissJones
Okay can we please get off our high horses about the cart? While I'm usually a stickler about putting the cart back, I can honestly say there are times I don't. (Pouring rain or my kids are in the car and the coral is far). And I'm sure everyone here is guilty of not putting it back every single time.
Point is... Guy was nuts. Glad you're ok.
Not returning the cart resulted in the cart hitting a vehicle. Yes, the man acted totally inappropriately but it was also inappropriate of her to drive away without checking the vehicle.
Message edited 4/2/2019 11:16:38 AM.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:16 AM |
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lmcmcl
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/15 484 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Message edited 4/2/2019 11:45:52 AM.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:40 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Oh yeah I had a similar experience - WOW. My son was with me and he is still terrified to go to the parking lot this "altercation" happened - AND he's afraid of Vets.
We were in a parking lot in the car ready to go to another store. The parking lot was on a hill so if you don't put the cart back in the corral it will eventually hit another car. Anyway, this woman takes her cart and rams it into a bunch of carts in the parking lot. Soon they all take off and who's car is at the bottom - mine. I had about 6 carts crash into my fairly new car. I run out thinking I could stop all 6  but nope, impossible. So I said "SH!T"...because yes, my car was now damaged. This woman came running like a wild animal. SCREAMING in my face. You could see the rage. I kind of laughed at her (don't do by the way) because I was just shouting "SH!T" because my car was damaged. Well I guess she thought it was all about her and I seriously almost got beaten in the parking lot. She's shouting "I'm a Veteran... you don't mess with a Veteran". I seriously said HUH? She was inches from my face, yelling so much spit was coming out of her mouth...it was gross. I walked away, she followed me. Thankfully a man in a nearby car saw it all go down and told her to get away. As she was driving away she pulls up next to my car screaming again how she is a Vet.
So now I have a terrified child of Vets and a particular parking lot.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:40 AM |
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lmcmcl
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/15 484 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by MissJones
Okay can we please get off our high horses about the cart? While I'm usually a stickler about putting the cart back, I can honestly say there are times I don't. (Pouring rain or my kids are in the car and the coral is far). And I'm sure everyone here is guilty of not putting it back every single time.
Point is... Guy was nuts. Glad you're ok.
Message edited 4/2/2019 11:47:24 AM.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:41 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by MissJones
Okay can we please get off our high horses about the cart? While I'm usually a stickler about putting the cart back, I can honestly say there are times I don't. (Pouring rain or my kids are in the car and the coral is far). And I'm sure everyone here is guilty of not putting it back every single time.
Point is... Guy was nuts. Glad you're ok.
Funny story, one time I didn’t put the cart back and thought it was stable. Well I turn to walk to my car and the freaking thing starts rolling out of no where. No wind or anything. So now I’m chasing this damn cart like a mad woman in the parking lot. I caught it and put it where it belonged.
Long story short, it took more energy to leave the cart and I looked like a crazy woman. So now I put it back.
I feel like there are little ghosts that secretly operate and move those things to hit your car.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:43 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Oh and a LI parking lot horror story... As a kid we had gone grocery shopping at the King Kullen in Levittown while visiting my Aunt. We must have gotten to a parking spot before this woman and she comes yelling like a nut that we took her spot. Keep in mind this is a family - Husband, Wife, and two young kids. Here's this woman getting irate over a parking spot. Ok, whatever. We go in, do our shopping...when we come out our entire car is covered in MUSTARD! I was I think 8 and terrified.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:46 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by Sunny10
Posted by TwinMommyToBoys
I am sorry this happened to you. I’ve had wagons hit my car numerous times  I try and put the cart back in a corral, but if there isn’t one near by and I have my twins already in the car, I park it on grass. A new grocery store opened by my house and there isn’t a corral so everyone leaves the carts. I would have just not opened my window and drove away. I think here on Long Island, I see a majority of people just leave their carts
Thank you. I try to put carts back. There wasn’t a corral close by. Trader Joes in Lake grove, I spend so much time trying to place my cart safe as there are no corrals and its sloped. I have quite a few dents from there. I have also seen people walk away from moving carts. Never would I have thought or woukd say anything to them. I am very mad at myself for opening the window.
I shop in this Trader Joes all the time and I always return my cart to the front of the store or I leave it and carry my bags. I am amazed at the amount of inconsiderate people in this parking lot that just let their used carts smash into other cars. I had a huge dent in my car thanks to someone not returning their cart. I have kids too so that is not an excuse. This is a huge pet peeve of mine.
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:51 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Harrassment from stranger in parking lot
Posted by Sash
Posted by MissJones
Okay can we please get off our high horses about the cart? While I'm usually a stickler about putting the cart back, I can honestly say there are times I don't. (Pouring rain or my kids are in the car and the coral is far). And I'm sure everyone here is guilty of not putting it back every single time.
Point is... Guy was nuts. Glad you're ok.
Funny story, one time I didn’t put the cart back and thought it was stable. Well I turn to walk to my car and the freaking thing starts rolling out of no where. No wind or anything. So now I’m chasing this damn cart like a mad woman in the parking lot. I caught it and put it where it belonged.
Long story short, it took more energy to leave the cart and I looked like a crazy woman. So now I put it back.
I feel like there are little ghosts that secretly operate and move those things to hit your car.
OMG this reminds me of a story that I had forgotten about.
Years ago, when DH and I were first dating, we were walking back to my brand new car in a parking lot when we see a rogue cart just start rolling- right towards my new car! I froze and just pointed. He started sprinting, full speed, and got to the cart just before it hit my car.
It was that day that I decided I would marry him!
LOL
Chivalry is NOT dead!
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| Posted 4/2/19 11:53 AM |
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