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DH is being totally unreasonable
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: DH is being totally unreasonable
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i totally see your husband's point of view and if it's something that is THAT important to him, as his wife, you should back him up on it
IMO
But what about the opposite? This is important to her so why can't her DH back her up?
Beth - for now just relax and enjoy the last days of your pregnancy, you don't need this stress.
Just revisit this topic with your DH in a few months, for now enjoy each other and your child 
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Posted 9/19/05 11:17 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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PrincessRose
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 254 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: DH is being totally unreasonable
I had a similar issue at our wedding.
The cantor who was officiating is a long time family friend who we met years ago when she was an exchange student from Israel staying with my grandparents.
She's now got twin little girls, darlings. They're very shy, and I don't think they've ever spoken two words to me. So anyway, the Cantor's mom called my mom and tried to get the children invited to the wedding, saying that she felt that we were like family so if we were having my uncles' children (my first cousins) then we should have the Cantor's children as well. Unfortunately, we had to explain to her MULTIPLE times over that "like family" was not going to go over that well when we were telling loads of other people that we were only allowing the three children who happened to be my first cousins.
Strangely enough, the Cantor herself had no problems with having to find a babysitter for the day. All I can say is that there ARE Israelis who accept that this is a difference in culture and don't get offended, and your husband should do likewise.
Talk to LBF404 - her mother's family is Israeli and they didn't have any children at the wedding that I can remember. Your DH *is* being unreasonable and he's being unsupportive of you at this very stressful time in your life.
And Don, you're a good guy, but I see no reason why a woman should always defer to her husband.
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| Posted 9/19/05 11:34 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: DH is being totally unreasonable
I think her husband is not being logical at all. Maybe that weekend will be a much needed get away for the two of them in months to come. I think he is taking this personally, and I don't think it sounds like he is going to back down. I can't see what fun a baby would be at a wedding anyway. And he is in America now and is still not backing down. At that point, I would let it go. If he feels that strongly about it, he is not going to come around. Even though this is a big battle lost by missing her good friend's wedding, I would not argue it in months to come. I would let it go. I would let my husband feel like he has won this one.
Message edited 9/19/2005 11:40:27 AM.
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| Posted 9/19/05 11:39 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: DH is being totally unreasonable
Posted by Janice
I think her husband is not being logical at all. Maybe that weekend will be a much needed get away for the two of them in months to come. I think he is taking this personally, and I don't think it sounds like he is going to back down. I can't see what fun a baby would be at a wedding anyway. And he is in America now and is still not backing down. At that point, I would let it go. If he feels that strongly about it, he is not going to come around. Even though this is a big battle lost by missing her good friend's wedding, I would not argue it in months to come. I would let it go. I would let my husband feel like he has won this one.
totally, friends come and go, marriage is forever
ETA: if this was the other way around and it was woman who felt insulted, i would say that the man needs to defer to his wife
no sexism here 
Message edited 9/19/2005 11:52:03 AM.
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| Posted 9/19/05 11:46 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH is being totally unreasonable
Posted by Donna
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i totally see your husband's point of view and if it's something that is THAT important to him, as his wife, you should back him up on it
IMO
But what about the opposite? This is important to her so why can't her DH back her up?
Beth - for now just relax and enjoy the last days of your pregnancy, you don't need this stress.
Just revisit this topic with your DH in a few months, for now enjoy each other and your child
Exactly what about the opposite. Why should she be the one to back down. I think we are way past the days of the woman obeys her man.
I think her DH needs to understand he's living in a different culture now and he should be the one to adapt and if he can't then he should stay home with the baby and let her go and support one of her closest friends.
I am in my MOH's wedding in April and our daughter will be about 7 months old and I wouldn't even think to ask to let me bring the baby. Personally I am looking forward to a night out alone with DH. Hopefully after some time home with the baby and seeing how little couple time you get your DH will feel the same way.
Good Luck!!
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| Posted 9/19/05 11:55 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DH is being totally unreasonable
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by DjPiLL
If he doesn't want to go... then just go on your own.
I don't have a problem wit this, and that's what I offered... but now he's mad at me because his view is that if I DO go, I'm prioritizing my friend over him and my baby. It's getting me upset because either way, now I have 2 people mad at me. My husband because I'm not backing him up on something that's very important to him, and my friend because she's going to be devastated that he's not coming.
I think you're acting more in the babies best interest by not bringing him/her. Weddings are not fun or comfortable places for a baby. Loud music, over-stimulation, potential smoking, etc. You don't have the necessary available resources at a wedding (unless you want to shlep a stroller/diaper bag/cooler around the reception hall. They'll be miserable and so will you. There is going to be obligations imposed on you as part of the wedding party (pictures, etc.) and he is going to be up to the challenge of taking care of the baby exclusively during these moments? He can't understand this reasoning alone?
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| Posted 9/19/05 11:56 AM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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