Re: DH issue...do you have this problem?

Here is some hope- my DH used to be the same way when my DD was a baby- I remember my bro asking him how he was dealing with the sleepless nights and him saying, its been fine- I haven't missed a nights sleep yet I did all the feedings(even though she supplemented), all the diaper changes, etc. I also heard alot, well you are home all day! grrr.....

Then I went back to work full time and DD got a little more independent and less scary to him. Suddenly I have a DH that does all the laundry(it has become his chore since I never seem to get to it), pays for a maid to come 2x weekly to do the major cleaning, and takes care of DD all the time. I think he was afraid of her when she was an infant. He is still out of town a lot for work and I have that single parent feeling when he is gone for more than a couple of days, but it is SOOO much better.

I think as your DD gets older, he will get better too. It also helps to talk to them in a non-judgemental way to let them know what needs to happen. Men can be so clueless.

Re: DH issue...do you have this problem?

Posted by waterspout4


It's a male trait. I could've written this myself.

Re: DH issue...do you have this problem?

My DH was like that at first, but I told him, if you want more kids, you HAVE to step up and help more. ANd ever since our second child was born, he has been amazing.

Maybe you should just sit down and talk to him about it, and explain how you feel like he isn't doing his fair share....

Re: DH issue...do you have this problem?

My DH has been helpful for the most part, though I definitely do more, even on weekends. I think he "got" it around 6 weeks when I had doctor's appts. in the city. DH didn't want me dragging the baby in at that point, so he took off work and spent the day watching DS. When I came home (I also went shopping for myself that day), he was exhausted and said he thought he was going to get so much more done that day. He's been much more considerate since then.

Has DH spent a day watching your child? Maybe he should, it might help him understand what you do all day.

Re: DH issue...do you have this problem?

I'm not going to 100% flame my DH because we have FINALLY come to a balance in our lives but that means I still do 60% of things, which is better than the 90% I used to fo. However, when it comes to the baby I do 75% including all baths, feeding of solid foods, dressing, putting to sleep, etc.

The piece that drives me insane is the weekends when the only time I get a little me time is if I need to use the bathroom. In order to get DH to sit with him I feel like I need to have a reason rather than he just play with him so I can catch a break. I know the weekends are my time with him and I love to spend 99% of my time with him. But can't a girl just sit down without the clinger attached my me. Goodness!!! And then when he finally takes a nap DH suggests to me that it would probably be a good time for me to go grocery shopping. WHAT???!!!! Why can't I just enjoy the naps too? He understands when I explain to him why it makes me mad but he thinks I'm like the energizer bunny. And I work double the hours he does.

And one more story, two weekends ago we were going to visit my parents in LI, and I needed for him to stay with the baby while I finished packing us all up. Yeah, I do that too. Anyway, he decides that he doesn't like the way our new garabage can opens (you know, the kind with the pedal that you step on to open the lid). It only opened at a 70 degree angle which was a little annoying but not mission critical at the time. but, out comes all of the power tools as he dismantles the entire thing. Well ladies, my garbage pail no longer opens at all now. Good job honey!!! Wouldn't it have been better if you just played with your son for 10 minutes???

It's not that he isn't into being a father. I just think in my case he doesn't really know what to do with him other than make silly faces and let matthew beat him up.

MEN