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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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different situation:Updated at bottom
Just wanted to say hi, and share that though my mother is alive, she hasn't been in my life for at least 6 years. It is hard not having a mom around....
I am here if anyone needs to chat.
Message edited 7/21/2006 11:14:13 PM.
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Posted 6/7/06 9:36 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: different situation
I almost find that harder to hear. 
I'm so very thankful for the time I had with my Mom, she was always there for me whenever I needed her.
I can't imagine going through what you're going through. It's kind of like that saying "It's better to love and have lost than to have never loved at all."
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| Posted 6/8/06 9:09 AM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: different situation
I have to agree with Lori- I would do anything to spend 5 more minutes with my Mom- and if she was still alive -I would do anything I could to have a relantionship with her
it upsets me to hear that your Mom is alive and you guys can't work it out-
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| Posted 6/8/06 9:31 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: different situation
Posted by christy
Just wanted to say hi, and share that though my mother is alive, she hasn't been in my life for at least 6 years. It is hard not having a mom around....
I am here if anyone needs to chat.
Same here...my mother gave us up to my Dad 21 years ago and hasn't been in my life at all for over 15...it is definitely hard to explain to people and a lot of them don't get how painful it is. My MIL didn't understand why I was so upset this Mother's Day (my first with a daughter of my own) and why I couldn't just "get over it" and have a good day.
I have to say, since I had a little girl it makes it sooooo much harder...I understand less and less what my mother has done and why...
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| Posted 6/8/06 11:48 AM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: different situation
Thank you for the responses. The hardest days for me have been every mother's day and my wedding day...
But unfortuately it is better and safer for me to not have her in my life.
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| Posted 6/8/06 7:13 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: different situation
So sorry for you... and for your loss
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| Posted 6/8/06 10:45 PM |
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PupettaBella
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 538 total posts
Name:
Paula
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Re: different situation
Posted by Beth1210
I have to agree with Lori- I would do anything to spend 5 more minutes with my Mom- and if she was still alive -I would do anything I could to have a relantionship with her
it upsets me to hear that your Mom is alive and you guys can't work it out-
I agree with you gals. It always makes me so sad whan I hear anyone say that they don't have a great relationship with their moms. My mom was my best friend and I miss her so much. I know someone who is getting married and her mother wants no part in helping her daughter plan the wedding. I cried with every decision I had to make for my wedding planning because my mom wasn't here to help me.
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| Posted 6/11/06 4:03 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: different situation
Posted by Beth1210
I would do anything I could to have a relationship with her
it upsets me to hear that your Mom is alive and you guys can't work it out-
You know...this bothers me a lot because many people think like this. You have to realize that I (and all of my siblings) have tried EVERYTHING in the past. Sending flowers on mother's day, cards, letters, phone calls, . But my mother is an extremely toxic person.
She chose not to be a part of our lives...she chose NOT to know who I am and what I accomplished and after a while, it's just safer to not have her running like a tornado through your life and your emotions picking and choosing which milestones she wants to ruin and then not being there to pick up the pieces...especially now with my DH and my daughter. She never called or reached out when I got married and she never called or reached out when I gave birth to my beautiful Bella....and these are only the recent ones; there's also HS graduation, prom, etc.
I am blessed finally with an amazing relationship with my father (made possible by his divorcing of the EVIL stepmother) and his fiance, who in several years has done more for me than anyone did in my first 20+ years.
I am glad you had such an amazing relationship with your mother...I hope to have that type of relationship with my daughter...but please don't project that to people like me, who had nothing like that growing up...to me, the snap judgment of others made it difficult to tell people of my situation...
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| Posted 6/12/06 8:37 AM |
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kathleeng
Member since 5/05 3775 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: different situation
I am sorry to hear of these stories.
I am currently in the situation of having a strained relationship with a couple of family members and although it is very recent, it is VERY painful.
Sending you all
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| Posted 6/12/06 9:55 AM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: different situation
[
I am glad you had such an amazing relationship with your mother...I hope to have that type of relationship with my daughter...but please don't project that to people like me, who had nothing like that growing up...to me, the snap judgment of others made it difficult to tell people of my situation...
I am sorry if you feel like you are being judged- that's not what I meant-
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| Posted 6/12/06 10:38 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: different situation
Posted by Beth1210
I am sorry if you feel like you are being judged- that's not what I meant-
I actually hesitated before I said judgment...maybe I mean assumption...
I know you weren't, but many people just don't get that my mother and I "can't just work it out"....
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| Posted 6/12/06 2:29 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: different situation
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by Beth1210
I am sorry if you feel like you are being judged- that's not what I meant-
I actually hesitated before I said judgment...maybe I mean assumption...
I know you weren't, but many people just don't get that my mother and I "can't just work it out"....
I know I'm totally hijacking here...but I get the same kind of thing re:my dad.
No one understands that even though he's alive, it's as if he's died, and in many ways, I feel harder to deal with.
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| Posted 6/13/06 7:07 AM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Well it turns out my 48 year old mother had a heart attack and was in the hospital. My grandfather called me last night and told me all the details. I think he expects that I will call her now that she is not doing well. Sad thing is, my mother has suffered from eating disorders and drug abuse and I know this is why the heart attack took place. This is also why I stay away from her.
Now I am in a position where guilt makes me feel like I should call? But what will it accomplish. I know I don't want such a toxic person in my life.
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| Posted 7/21/06 11:16 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
I don't know what to say Christy....
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| Posted 7/21/06 11:34 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by christy
Just wanted to say hi, and share that though my mother is alive, she hasn't been in my life for at least 6 years. It is hard not having a mom around....
I am here if anyone needs to chat.
Same here...my mother gave us up to my Dad 21 years ago and hasn't been in my life at all for over 15...it is definitely hard to explain to people and a lot of them don't get how painful it is. My MIL didn't understand why I was so upset this Mother's Day (my first with a daughter of my own) and why I couldn't just "get over it" and have a good day.
I have to say, since I had a little girl it makes it sooooo much harder...I understand less and less what my mother has done and why...
I understand and I think Miranda is the only reason I have a relationship with my mother (you probably remember some of my crazy stories) although I have to say for right now things are good (I'm afraid to jinx myself though) since she's generally a time bomb waiting to go off.
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| Posted 7/21/06 11:34 PM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by Palebride
I don't know what to say Christy....
Yeah, I have been trying not to think about it all day. But as you can see, I am clearly not sleeping tonight! Thanks for the hugs!
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| Posted 7/21/06 11:35 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by Beth1210
I have to agree with Lori- I would do anything to spend 5 more minutes with my Mom- and if she was still alive -I would do anything I could to have a relantionship with her
it upsets me to hear that your Mom is alive and you guys can't work it out-
yeah i know what you mean beth but sometimes its a lot easier said than done. Like Kelly said, our mother is a very toxic, selfish person. I out of all of my siblings tried to reach out to her over the years and had a civil relationship with her. I went up to visit her upstate... this was until I got married.
She called me when i wasnt home.left me a msg saying she wasnt coming to the wedding b/c SHE felt uncomfortable because of my fathers family & my friends that she doesnt know. She sent me a gift. and I have not heard from her since. no cards phone calls. I sent her a thank you asking whay she hasnt returned my calls. NOTHING! W T F did I do to her??? last straw was when i was separating from my husband at the time. probably the most painful time in my life and NOTHING!!!!!!!! she knew what I was going through (my other sister has some communication with her) and not even card a phone call a message or even an e-mail. After that I vowed that I was done with her.
So sometimes in life, as much as they are your parents by blood, it is better off not having a relationship with them then a toxic strained relationship.
It is sad though.. Mothers Day doesnt mean much to me- except now that my sister is a mom it has meaning...
Planning my wedding with no mom- very difficult. But my dad is both roles for me and his fiancee is an amazing woman..
God I rambled.. I guess this is a sore topic for me even after all of these years... 
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| Posted 7/22/06 4:00 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by kdelace
Posted by Beth1210
I have to agree with Lori- I would do anything to spend 5 more minutes with my Mom- and if she was still alive -I would do anything I could to have a relantionship with her
it upsets me to hear that your Mom is alive and you guys can't work it out-
yeah i know what you mean beth but sometimes its a lot easier said than done. Like Kelly said, our mother is a very toxic, selfish person. I out of all of my siblings tried to reach out to her over the years and had a civil relationship with her. I went up to visit her upstate... this was until I got married.
She called me when i wasnt home.left me a msg saying she wasnt coming to the wedding b/c SHE felt uncomfortable because of my fathers family & my friends that she doesnt know. She sent me a gift. and I have not heard from her since. no cards phone calls. I sent her a thank you asking whay she hasnt returned my calls. NOTHING! W T F did I do to her??? last straw was when i was separating from my husband at the time. probably the most painful time in my life and NOTHING!!!!!!!! she knew what I was going through (my other sister has some communication with her) and not even card a phone call a message or even an e-mail. After that I vowed that I was done with her.
So sometimes in life, as much as they are your parents by blood, it is better off not having a relationship with them then a toxic strained relationship.
It is sad though.. Mothers Day doesnt mean much to me- except now that my sister is a mom it has meaning...
Planning my wedding with no mom- very difficult. But my dad is both roles for me and his fiancee is an amazing woman..
God I rambled.. I guess this is a sore topic for me even after all of these years...
I don't know what worse- that- or your Mom dying- that's so sad- and I am so sorry your have to go thru that
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| Posted 7/22/06 6:45 PM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
My mother left me and my dad. My dad was everything to me untill he passed 6 years ago. People just dont understand how I have a mother out there on LI and I haven't seen her in 18 years.
But I think until you are abondoned by the person who is supposed to love you most in this world...you really can't relate to why I have no intention of ever knowing her again. I have lived the last 6 years of my life with no parents and no siblings...my husband left me and she knows all this...and zero contact.
Im better off alone....and that's the sad truth.
Message edited 7/24/2006 11:18:42 AM.
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| Posted 7/24/06 11:18 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by robynfs
My mother left me and my dad. My dad was everything to me untill he passed 6 years ago. People just dont understand how I have a mother out there on LI and I haven't seen her in 18 years.
But I think until you are abondoned by the person who is supposed to love you most in this world...you really can't relate to why I have no intention of ever knowing her again. I have lived the last 6 years of my life with no parents and no siblings...my husband left me and she knows all this...and zero contact.
Im better off alone....and that's the sad truth.
you are not alone there are many people in your situation that understand and are here...
please feel free to FM me if you would ever like to talk
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| Posted 7/24/06 11:21 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by kdelace
Posted by Beth1210
I have to agree with Lori- I would do anything to spend 5 more minutes with my Mom- and if she was still alive -I would do anything I could to have a relantionship with her
it upsets me to hear that your Mom is alive and you guys can't work it out-
yeah i know what you mean beth but sometimes its a lot easier said than done. Like Kelly said, our mother is a very toxic, selfish person. I out of all of my siblings tried to reach out to her over the years and had a civil relationship with her. I went up to visit her upstate... this was until I got married.
She called me when i wasnt home.left me a msg saying she wasnt coming to the wedding b/c SHE felt uncomfortable because of my fathers family & my friends that she doesnt know. She sent me a gift. and I have not heard from her since. no cards phone calls. I sent her a thank you asking whay she hasnt returned my calls. NOTHING! W T F did I do to her??? last straw was when i was separating from my husband at the time. probably the most painful time in my life and NOTHING!!!!!!!! she knew what I was going through (my other sister has some communication with her) and not even card a phone call a message or even an e-mail. After that I vowed that I was done with her.
So sometimes in life, as much as they are your parents by blood, it is better off not having a relationship with them then a toxic strained relationship.
It is sad though.. Mothers Day doesnt mean much to me- except now that my sister is a mom it has meaning...
Planning my wedding with no mom- very difficult. But my dad is both roles for me and his fiancee is an amazing woman..
God I rambled.. I guess this is a sore topic for me even after all of these years...
I feel I could have written this. Thankfully I have my Dad-om (my name for both his roles) and his wife like you.
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| Posted 7/24/06 12:45 PM |
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newhome
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 95 total posts
Name:
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Re: different situation:Updated at bottom
Posted by robynfs
My mother left me and my dad. My dad was everything to me untill he passed 6 years ago. People just dont understand how I have a mother out there on LI and I haven't seen her in 18 years.
But I think until you are abondoned by the person who is supposed to love you most in this world...you really can't relate to why I have no intention of ever knowing her again. I have lived the last 6 years of my life with no parents and no siblings...my husband left me and she knows all this...and zero contact.
Im better off alone....and that's the sad truth.
This is kind of like me. Both my parents are out there, both divorced from each other- bitterly- and both dislike me very much.... My mother is a very self absorbed, selfish, cold, emotionless human being. And my father used to be so wonderful to me. But he married a horrible woman who poisoned him against me. He sided with her and that was that. I am horrible and dead to him now even though I have done everything in my life to make them proud of me. Everyday is challenging. I look in the mirror and wonder if it is me... Is there something wrong with me that my blood parents choose not to be in my presence? For added sadness, they are in my sisters life and choose to bad mouth me every chance they get. My mother never says she is proud of me or my ds. It is crushing. I can't be happy unless I have their love and I trult will never have it.
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| Posted 7/27/06 9:28 PM |
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