Discipline question

I'm not a mommy yet, but this is a very serious issue for me.

My DC will be home with me exclusivly for the first 3 months of his or her life after that I have to return to work full time and Dh's cousin will watch DC.

How is it that i can get Dh's cousin to reinforce my discipline style(if it comes down to that) if my dc see's that her children get away with things I would not necessarlity allow my child to get away with.
I am not fond of her way of disciplining(her kids walk all over her) they know who to go to and who to manipulate to get what they want.. mind you they are 3 and 5yrs old.

Re: Discipline question

that' s a tough request.

I will say though that the kid I watch was trained to CIO. I would never have Josh CIO at 8 months, but that's what his mother wanted.

So, twice a day, it broke my heart, but I would put him in crib, close the door and he would cry.

It upset us all for a long time.

The kid's mother convinced me to try it on Josh at a year old and it was a mess. totally unsucessful.

Re: Discipline question

I think it's not a bad situation. If she were a very strict disciplinarian and you were not - that might cause more problems. But I am generally not a fan of other people disciplining my kids anyway.

Re: Discipline question

Talk to her about it before the babysitting starts.
You will get a feel for if she will take it seriously or not.

Depending on how strongly you feel about this, it might not be worth causing tension in the family over this.

Re: Discipline question

This was my next concern.. she lives in a mother daughter with her mother and father dh's aunt and uncle.. and everynight they have dinner together with Dh's parent's and sister..(I absolutly love the fact that everyone can get together like that, it's seems strange at first but it truely is something that I love)
The plot thickens.. MIL is the godmother to his cousins daughter and she spoils her rotten litterally his cousins daughter will come up to MIL and say can i have an ice pop when MIL knows she did not eat her dinner and give it to her even after the mother says no.. so this is another thing I am afraid of..and of course she is MIL and I am not a very confrentational person when it comes to IL's..
I am so torn as to handle these situations, and I know it comes down to what is best for the child. Finding alternative child care is out of the question b/c dh's cousin is in the budget and I want to start figuring things out before DC comes b/c i know I will have a million otherthings going through my mind at that point.

Re: Discipline question

I come from a similar "big italian family".

now if this were my family (I also LOVE that everyone is living so close, although we dont have that now).

but i think youre going to have to mention your discipline ideas and see where that goes.

my mom is very "get lost, i dont need you to tell me what to do" and that's that. so in my case, Id have to smile and head out the door
and usually, yeah my kids are ok with nonna and nonno. theyre spolied rotten, but they know their limits.
theyre old sschool and it just doesnt happen that Igive them rules. yes they acknowledge my little fears of choking (cut up stuff tiny) but if I gave my mom a schedule or rules to follow... i'd be laughed out the door. in a way I can see where she's coming from. and Im pretty laid back because of her (not having kids on rigid schedules) and she's a better disciplinarian than me, so no problems there.

you either love the big happy loud family where there are too many chefs in the kitchen or you do your own thing.
me, I love it, and my kids are very adaptable to change of pace.

Message edited 8/8/2008 4:14:04 PM.