Divorce Q

I feel like it is something that is to be expected these days.....

Not just for celebs but for us common folk as well.

And that staying together is abnormal..

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statistics show the divorce rate is at it's highest these days!

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It makes me sad knowing the statistics.

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I just think that it's more newsworthy that people split up which is why it seems you hear more of that.

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Statistically it is at it's highest...And I don't know if that means that marriages are more unhappy now, or if women are becoming self-supporting enough so that they are in a better position to choose to leave. I know there was a time when if the man was the breadwinner, women really could not have supported themselves and children if they got divorced. Now women are getting higher education at a rate nearly equal to men, and have higher-level jobs and often continue working once they have children...

The institution of marriage once meant til death do us part, but I don't know if that made for healthier marriages, or marriages in which husband and wife grew to hate one another and felt there was no out.

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I think these days Americans want, want and always want more. Maybe after years of marriage people want more out of their life and relationship - whether its to be loved by someone else or someone with better looks or more money, etc. Its also more common like you said so people aren't ashamed of getting divorced, or not doing it b/c of religion - unfortunately it is such a "norm" of our society.

I think our generation, waiting so long to get married and have kids and living together before, I'm hopeful that the divorce rate will decline.

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For me and my circle, divorce is definitely more abnormal than marriage. But I have several acquaintances that are divorced. My friend is a teacher and a good number of her kids parents are divorced.

My parents had a happy marriage, until my dad passed away. DH's parents are married. Most of my friend's parents are married. I think that influences you.

I also think that people are bailing out of marriages a lot easier these days. I thing that the lack of a social stigma, coupled with women's financial independence may add to the number of divorces. I also think a lot of people are no longer "staying together for the kids" (which is so healthy IMO).

Message edited 12/7/2005 11:02:21 AM.

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2 of my friends had both of their husbands just walk out on them like it was nothing. it also seems that a lot of couples just give up too easily, not even trying to get counseling first. you should fight to keep your marriage, but walking out is obviously a lot easier for people.

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Posted by FireIslandLove

I think these days Americans want, want and always want more. Maybe after years of marriage people want more out of their life and relationship - whether its to be loved by someone else or someone with better looks or more money, etc. Its also more common like you said so people aren't ashamed of getting divorced, or not doing it b/c of religion - unfortunately it is such a "norm" of our society.

I think our generation, waiting so long to get married and have kids and living together before, I'm hopeful that the divorce rate will decline.

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I also think people have a fantasy perception of what marriage is- like it's always right out of a romance novel- what they don't understand is that is waxes and wanes- it changes.. just like people, over time, change.

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Last year DH and I were going thorugh issues and we had been married 6 years already. Although divorce was an option I took a few days to be alone and thought things through. Of course my situation wasn't as extreme for me to get a divorce we chose to work things out and stay together. Now a year later we are still together!

Oh & very happily married!

Message edited 12/7/2005 12:11:21 PM.

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i have to say that it is more common to see divorce.

its funny but me and fh parents are still together and my bil's parents are still together, which is rare these days

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I also notice people tend to say "Oh, it was just my "starter" marriage. As if it were a practice run!

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Message edited 12/7/2005 1:30:42 PM.

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Well I am divorced and trust me It was not an easy decision......I don't agree with it nor did I want this ..it was the only choice left...

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Posted by Christine

Posted by Shellyesq

Posted by dooodles

I also notice people tend to say "Oh, it was just my "starter" marriage. As if it were a practice run!

I HOPE that's a joke

ETS: I have heard that before. I hope the "Oh, it was just my "starter" marriage" is a joke.

Kind of like first you marry for money then you marry for love.

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Posted by Redhead


IMO i would think it is the opposite...
marry for love first...at least try it
then marry for money

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Nah, it's to set you up financially for your new and improved life

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With my situation, my husband just left, didn't want to try to work on it at all.

I think to him, divorce was an easy way out. He watched his parents go through and thought of it always as an option...no big deal.

I on the other hand, watched my parents go through it and thought I was marrying someone that I could get through anything with.

One of the hardest things about being divorced is this stereotype. People thinking, I just took an easy way out of a big mistake I made of getting married in the first place. They just don't know the pain, suffering and mourning I go through everyday. In addition it was totally out of my control, I thought I found my life partner, unfortunately he didn't take the vows as seriously as I did.

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I was reading ana rticle somewherr recently that said the divorce statistic is skewed. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that that's comparing marriages in one yr vs divorces in that same year, and doens't take into account marriages previously existing, so it's really more like 30%. Does anyone have an accurate statistic? In my family, divorce is pretty uncommon.

I try not to think about statistics. You can't enter into something thinking it's going to end

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I think that divorce is obviously different for everyone, the reasons and all.

I just feel that it is almost something that should be expected now...

A co-worker of mine is getting divorced.
They have 3 kids and he told me that his wife, out of the blue said that she just doesn't want to be married anymore.

Do i think that is the whole story, probably not but it realyl seemed to shock my co-work.