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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by marymoon
I was reading ana rticle somewherr recently that said the divorce statistic is skewed. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that that's comparing marriages in one yr vs divorces in that same year, and doens't take into account marriages previously existing, so it's really more like 30%. Does anyone have an accurate statistic? In my family, divorce is pretty uncommon.
I try not to think about statistics. You can't enter into something thinking it's going to end
i don't think anyone really enters into anything thinking it is going to end....
but IMO the incidences of divorce are just sooo high that it should be that much of a shocker if it happens
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Posted 12/7/05 3:55 PM  |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Divorce Q
I know what you mean. And I know some of you know what I've been through with my family this past year, but I just can't think in those terms. Maybe part of the problem is the defeatist attitude, that we all expect divorce
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| Posted 12/7/05 3:55 PM |
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ExpectingJoy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 751 total posts
Name:
Cari
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Re: Divorce Q
Two quotes I live by: 1) "Never ever ever use the D word in your house.... The word doesn't exist".... Another one was "In good marriage, sometimes you both have to eat sh!t and like it".... I truly believe both of these are true in every good marriage.
Message edited 12/7/2005 4:11:18 PM.
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| Posted 12/7/05 4:09 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by marymoon
I know what you mean. And I know some of you know what I've been through with my family this past year, but I just can't think in those terms. Maybe part of the problem is the defeatist attitude, that we all expect divorce
trust me when I say I in no way went into this with the attitude that it was going to end ..I personally think that Divorce is more common because Women are more independent now. I also was in a marriage where there was no children which made our decision a little bit easier..
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| Posted 12/7/05 4:14 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Divorce Q
I think its scary as can be. I was scared to death before my wedding, making sure in my mind and in DH's that we could do this FOREVER....
Neither of us believes in divorce...Nothing could happen that would make us consider it, and that in itself is just as scary, to know things could go horribly wrong, yet I would or he would need to find some kind of strength to work it out, even if we didint want to, because we made a vow.
We talked about it a million times to make sure we understood each other and how we would cope..
I dont think honestly too many people do that. I have seen people get married on a whim...too many people take it " lightly" because they KNOW divorce is an option. If its there to use, then whats the big deal..you have an out. Thats how I think some people think, and some people subconsciously even if they say they dont believe that.
We arent relgious people either, yet to us a Vow before God and to each other is sacred and has to be thought of that way from the beginning and always, I can honestly say not too many married friends of mine believe that 100%.
Its sad, BUT, whos to judge either...
I explained how I felt, but I honestly see nothing wrong withhow other people choose to live their life. Whats sacred to me may not be for others, and thats my concern or for me to judge.
If someone morals are not affected by their decisions that I dont see naything wrong with them doing what they need to do to be happy, if thats divorce , then so be it, because in the end, you only live once, might as well do it with a smile.
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| Posted 12/7/05 7:59 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by Christine
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by dooodles
I also notice people tend to say "Oh, it was just my "starter" marriage. As if it were a practice run!
I HOPE that's a joke
ETS: I have heard that before. I hope the "Oh, it was just my "starter" marriage" is a joke.
Kind of like first you marry for money then you marry for love.
I heard its the other way around first is LOVE second is MONEY.
My parents and DH parents are divorced. Welp whatever happens happens, is how I deal with it. Im in a position where I can support myself so if he decides he wants out- cya- I will try to work it out if he wants too but really why be with someone who doesnt want to be with you.
NOw I HOPE I never have to go through this.
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| Posted 12/7/05 8:07 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Divorce Q
I come from a family of strong marriages and so does JT and almost all of my friends, so I don't feel that strongly that divorce is that rampant. Hopefully our generation will think about staying married longer having been from so many divorced families
ETA: I'm also not OPPOSED to divorce. I just don't know if people are really willing to TRY to make it work. BUt then again, I don't know all people in the world and all of their circumstances, so who knows. I can only do what's best for me and my marriage and work hard to make sure it lasts.
Message edited 12/7/2005 8:16:45 PM.
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| Posted 12/7/05 8:13 PM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by KaRiSsA
It makes me sad knowing the statistics.
sooooooooo sad! I hope I never have to know what divorce is like...bad enough I had to watch my parents go through it.
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| Posted 12/7/05 8:15 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by unbelievable
Well I am divorced and trust me It was not an easy decision......I don't agree with it nor did I want this ..it was the only choice left...
I agree... no one can say anything until they have walked in your shoes. I did not plan on being married and divorced within a year. I was always the girl that swore I wouldnt do what my parents did. unfortunately, after the wedding, the reality of marriage hit... i had no choice but to leave and I am more sane, stronger woman because of it. I wasnt going to stay and try to make something work that wasnt workable.. Liek someone said above, people get caught up in the fantasy part of a marriage, I DID, but after the wedding, real begins.... I only wish I listened to my gut and not told myself that things would get better.....I was naive and in love....
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| Posted 12/7/05 8:19 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by KaRiSsA
It makes me sad knowing the statistics.
Me too. It's a shame. I think in a lot of instances, people give up on their marriages too easily. 
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| Posted 12/7/05 9:10 PM |
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Booklady1017
Information Goddess
Member since 5/05 4149 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Divorce Q
Its scary to hear how much divorce is out there nowadays.
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| Posted 12/7/05 11:21 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Divorce Q
Posted by kdelace
Posted by unbelievable
Well I am divorced and trust me It was not an easy decision......I don't agree with it nor did I want this ..it was the only choice left...
I agree... no one can say anything until they have walked in your shoes. I did not plan on being married and divorced within a year. I was always the girl that swore I wouldnt do what my parents did. unfortunately, after the wedding, the reality of marriage hit... i had no choice but to leave and I am more sane, stronger woman because of it. I wasnt going to stay and try to make something work that wasnt workable.. Liek someone said above, people get caught up in the fantasy part of a marriage, I DID, but after the wedding, real begins.... I only wish I listened to my gut and not told myself that things would get better.....I was naive and in love....
Exactly .... until people have walked in your shoes then honestly I don't want peoples opinions ...
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| Posted 12/8/05 9:17 AM |
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