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Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!

Member since 1/07

14818 total posts

Name:

Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Okay so lately we have been a little nervous with the dotor mentioning that the baby was to small, I may go into preterm labor and cord issues. The doctors don't seem concerned at all but of course this is our first so we got very nervous when we heard these terms.

My MIL has taken it to a whole new level. Last week when DH explained that we had to get some extra testing done, she hung up on him and called me at work screaming and crying. I had to sit there, and tell her to take a breath before I explained the situation.

Since then, she emails me these random things that I have never even thought of ( or even saw on Google! ). "What if the cord stops delivering the nutrients?" "What if they want to do a c/s now?" "What if the baby is too small?" "What if the cord is suffocating the baby and that is why s/he is too small?"

DH was supposed to call her after our sonogram appointment and he forgot. By the time she contacted me ( after calling from three different phones) she was hysterical.

My family is a bunch of a lunatics but they are trying to keep ME calm as I feel they should, not fill my mind with all this craziness AND I have to worry about her instead of trying to relax and keep myself calm.

I love her, and I REALLY appreciate how involved she is but I really don't want to tell her anything anymore! Imagine if this was something more serious? She would be in the hospital bed next to mine!!

Posted 5/26/10 4:43 PM
 
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Brila09
LIF Infant

Member since 7/09

177 total posts

Name:
Sheila

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

DH needs to have a talk with her about how she needs to remain calm b/c it isnt helping you right now.

Posted 5/26/10 4:45 PM
 

gporka23
:)

Member since 11/08

3783 total posts

Name:
:)

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

This is why my MIL does not have my cell or work number!

I think you need to tell her that she is making you very anxious and that she needs to calm down. You need positive energy right now - not someone constantly making you think the worst. If she can't do that then just ignore her and let her freak out on her own.

Posted 5/26/10 4:46 PM
 

Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan

Member since 10/09

5796 total posts

Name:
MB

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

yes, she should be telling you that everything is going to be fine- which it is- not making you more scared- can you ask Anthony to talk to her- maybe she can call him when she gets panicky

Posted 5/26/10 4:47 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Oh my God! That would freak me out.
Emailing you things that will only upset/freak you out more?
No way!

Getting hystercial to the point that YOU have to calm HER down?
Oh boy!

I agree with a PP- have your DH speak to her. You can't have any more added stress right now.
She needs to work out her stress and worry on her own- and not involve you.

Ugh!!
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Posted 5/26/10 4:49 PM
 

GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!

Member since 1/07

14818 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

The thing is that she DOES contact DH first but she doesn't think that he understands? She never just takes his word for it, we are at all the same appointments -- it is not like I have a degree in this or something?

I know DH should talk to her and I have mentioned it to him but he is taking his sweet time. I just feel like it should be common sense!

Posted 5/26/10 4:53 PM
 

eroxgirl
My Loves

Member since 5/05

15697 total posts

Name:
Rebecca

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

OMG she needs to be stopped!!!

Your DH needs to tell that she is NOT to be calling you with questions beyond "do you like green or yellow"!!

She needs to ask herself is how is this question going to help my DIL relax in any way, shape or form?? And if the answer is anything but a HELLL YES then she needs to find someone else to ask.

I can't deal with people coming to me and making ME calm THEM down when I'M the one going through the issue. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/10 4:57 PM
 

mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!

Member since 7/08

3324 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Only advice I have for you is to stop telling her things, and make sure your DH doesn't either.

My mom is like your MIL, flips out and is seriously just a hypochondriac. After a few things going on with this pregnancy, I refuse to tell her things any longer as I can't get through to her that if I didn't answer the phone its because I'm probably changing my DS or what have you, but noo I hear 10 min. voicemail in her hysterics.

I do want to tell you that my baby is measuring on the smaller side. I also have low fluid, and I've been to the hospital 4 times in the last 2 weeks because of pre-term labor. Guess what? I'm fine, and so is baby. These things can happen, and we have to trust our doctors that we are not the first time they have seen these issues and know how to deal with them. If by chance you go into pre-term labor they have shots that can stall it, they may also give you steroid shots to develop baby's lungs faster ((all of which I had to do at 33 weeks)). I'm now 35 weeks and she is very low, but I'm not effacing at all.

Prayers to you and your baby that all is well! I'm not sure how far along you are, but I believe you more than 30 weeks? So that is good!

Remember to not listen to anybody BUT your doctor!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/10 5:06 PM
 

shelby34
Love being a twin mommy!

Member since 5/07

2934 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Yikes! She sounds a lot like my mom....she gets hysterical about everything! When we found out about the cysts on my one baby's brain, she went nuts. It made me crazy and more scared than I already was.
Luckily, DH is such a calm, level-headed guy, so that was helpful for me.

I think your DH should talk to her and ask her not to make you too nervous. He can say it isn't good for the baby if you are too stressed...maybe that will help!

Posted 5/26/10 5:37 PM
 

BreezyBrie
Loving my "CC"

Member since 4/10

1975 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Hang in Tilde...I agree with all the girls. DH needs to step up and tell this woman to chill! I go through this with my mom at times. Although it comes from a good place
Chat Icon , it's entirely too stressful to be dealing with.

I have been thinking about you and your LO since your post about the latest issues. You are in my thoughts and prayers and we are all here for you to vent it out to.

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Posted 5/26/10 5:45 PM
 

kristin597
Mama!

Member since 8/08

1688 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Your husband needs to sit here down and explain to her that she is doing you and the baby no favors by getting hysterical and emailing you all these what ifs. It may be a good idea for your Dh to tell his mother this in the company of his father, maybe her husband can help keep her calm.

Posted 5/26/10 6:08 PM
 

KGools
Happy

Member since 9/06

9532 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

At this point, I would politely tell her that you appreciate her concern but she's not helping and she's turning you into a nervous wreck (and tell her that's not good for the baby) with all of her questions. What else can you do to keep your sanity, ya know? Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/10 7:15 PM
 

GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!

Member since 1/07

14818 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Posted by BrieYarb

Hang in Tilde...I agree with all the girls. DH needs to step up and tell this woman to chill! I go through this with my mom at times. Although it comes from a good place
Chat Icon , it's entirely too stressful to be dealing with.

I have been thinking about you and your LO since your post about the latest issues. You are in my thoughts and prayers and we are all here for you to vent it out to.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




awww thank you so much! everything is looking good but i dont want to post anything definitive until I get the last results on Saturday! Chat Icon


Thank you everyone for answering, I am going to try to talk to DH about it again soon!

Posted 5/26/10 7:24 PM
 

BreezyBrie
Loving my "CC"

Member since 4/10

1975 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Posted by Tilde

Posted by BrieYarb

Hang in Tilde...I agree with all the girls. DH needs to step up and tell this woman to chill! I go through this with my mom at times. Although it comes from a good place
Chat Icon , it's entirely too stressful to be dealing with.

I have been thinking about you and your LO since your post about the latest issues. You are in my thoughts and prayers and we are all here for you to vent it out to.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




awww thank you so much! everything is looking good but i dont want to post anything definitive until I get the last results on Saturday! Chat Icon


Thank you everyone for answering, I am going to try to talk to DH about it again soon!



Understandable...glad things are looking hopeful now. I will keep you in my thoughts. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/10 8:58 PM
 

TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!

Member since 8/08

7878 total posts

Name:
Mama mama mama....

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

Posted by Brila09

DH needs to have a talk with her about how she needs to remain calm b/c it isnt helping you right now.



ITA. Getting those kind of phone calls would make me insane, and that's not good for you or the baby.

If she calls your cell... don't pick up!!

Posted 5/27/10 8:23 AM
 

1stimemom
Love my boys

Member since 2/08

8766 total posts

Name:
Mrs Dee

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

She is being ridiculous!!!!Chat Icon
Yes, I absolutely think that people should be trying to keep you calm right now. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon for your little one!Chat Icon

Posted 5/27/10 8:25 AM
 

MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!

Member since 5/06

3104 total posts

Name:
MrsDrMatt

Re: Do you agree that people should be trying to keep us calm?

My advice is that you should STOP telling her things! It will only get worse after the baby is born. Establish boundaries now.

Posted 5/27/10 8:29 AM
 
 

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