Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

Let me start by saying I think the most important thing is a happy, healthy baby. There are so many people who cannot have children or have a hard time having children and I have been blessed, not once, but now twice. Ever since I was younger I knew I always wanted to be a mom...I knew I always wanted to have 3 kids...and I always wanted 2 boys and a girl. I just found out I am having my 2nd boy And I am excited that DS is going to have a little brother and a lifelong best friend. But I feel like some of my family is disappointed. Everyone wanted a girl this time around. Almost everyone I have told has said, "oh, well you can have another one."

The 1st trimester of pregnancy is very hard for me b/c I have severe anxiety and I guess with the mix of the hormones, it's just not a good combination. This 1st trimester was harder for me than with DS and I said many times this was it...boy or girl. Do I know if that is a definete decision, of course not. I dont think I have to make that decision right now. But I think a small part of me wanted a girl for that reason. I always wanted at least 1 boy and at least 1 girl so that I can experience the love of both and experience the differences in raising a girl and raising a boy. I think I would feel the same if I had a girl first...part of me would want to have a boy next. I feel like my family wants me to have a girl so they can buy pink dresses Some people weren't "happy" when they found out DS was a boy and now I am having a boy again.

I guess the most important thing is that DH and I are happy and that fortunately DS was a happy, healthy baby and this baby we pray will be just as healthy I am just upset that family member's reactions have been, "well, I hope your going to go for a 3rd and try for a girl".

Message edited 4/2/2009 8:53:01 PM.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I understand what you are saying. My parents have been saying "We really hope it's a girl," and I'm finding it really hurtful and upsetting. Like if it's a boy, they will be disappointed or something. As if we have any control over it and as if the baby will be any less special.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

i totally hear you.

since i have a boy and am now having a girl, i keep on hearing "well, it's a good thing since pregnancy isn't great for you. now you don't have to try a third time for the girl!"...

for some reason these comments really irk me. i would have been equally thrilled with another boy. and if i were having a boy, it wouldn't at all mean that my family wasn't "complete". i SO resent people making that implication.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I'm sorry about this. You have every right to be excited to have your 2nd . If people want a girl so badly, tell them to have another one.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I honestly don't care if we have a boy or girl or eventually have all boys or all girls... and I know my family doesn't either.

But for us women that have great relationships with our mothers I think they just want us to experience what it's like having a daughter like they had, esp. if they only had daughters. KWIM?

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

Message edited 4/2/2009 9:29:05 PM.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by CaMacho

But for us women that have great relationships with our mothers I think they just want us to experience what it's like having a daughter like they had, esp. if they only had daughters. KWIM?

That makes sense. I am very close with my mother and would love to have a daughter to share that same relationship with. I think just as a dad always wants a boy to have the relationship with him as he did with his dad. I think it is only natural. But at the same time, I wouldnt trade DS for the world. I am so in love with him He is a little momma's boy and I can't even explain the relationship that I have with him and how I am so happy to be having another boy to have that same kind of relationship with. I tell DS though, "when you get older and have girlfriends and eventually get married, you better not forget about your momma!"

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

when we met we both said we wanted one of each....

-when i got pg the first time we wanted the boy first. we lost the pg.
-when i got pg the second time we wanted the girl. we lost the pg, and found out it was a girl.
-now im pg again, and this ones a boy.our first child

Of course all of time we said healthiest was most important. but by the time of the third one if you asked us which sex we wanted, dh would say flip a coin, me i'd say give me the boy- because i didnt know if after the 2 losses if god would even give me one and i wanted dh to be able to do all the sports and stuff he experienced with his father, even though i know he'd still be able to share that with a girl too...

being the first one a boy, and coming from a family of 2 girls i really dont feel like im missing out on the girl if we dont have a second child, or have a second boy. Granted I have tons of dresses from my niece sitting in my attic, the two losses really made me just so happy for it to be healthy...

in my sisters house my niece took to being a daddys girl, and my nephew a mama's boy. you just never know which parent they are going to attach to more- regardless of what sex they are.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

We're planning to have 3 as well & I've always hoped to have at least one of each. My first is a girl & now I'm having a boy. We still plan to have another. People always react to the news of this baby being a boy by saying "Oh wow the perfect family!" or "Oh good so now you're complete!" It annoys me because I don't feel we're "complete" just because if the sex of the baby nor would I consider my family less than perfect if I were having another girl.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I can't tell you how many people told me "go team PINK!" before my ultrasound...these people were johnnys teachers/aides at school and I turned around to them and said "I would LOVE another boy, doesn't matter to me..". They said to me multiple times over the months "Oh wouldn't a girl be nice..".

You know what? Screw what other people "want". I honestly hoped and prayed he'd have a little brother. I just felt in my heart that he would LOVE having a brother to do all the boy things with that he loves to do. Would I have welcomed a girl? Of course! I love babies, boy or girl doesn't matter to me. But I was so thrilled to have another son and my family and friends were happy too...they can't wait to see the two boys together and do fun stuff with them both.

We plan on having three, always have..didn't matter if this was a girl. Would i love to experience a little girl next? Sure!! It would be great...2 boys and 1 girl is what I always envisioned. But if I am blessed with another child, a boy would be just fine with us.

I view a child as a blessing and all I could pray for was a healthy baby in the end.

I am thrilled for you!! And when everyone sees that little they will be too!!

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I understand what you are talking about. We didn't care what we were having, we just wanted healthy babies. WHen people heard (and now see) that we were having a boy and a girl, I got (and still get) comments like, "oh thats perfect," and "wow, instant family!" Like if we had had two boys or two girls we wouldn't be a family?

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

My Family is the opposite , when I said i THINK I am having a ( won't find out till the 15th of this month) my father made a face.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I honestly don't care, and some people think its WRONG of me to think like that



But I really don't care what they think either, I want a healthy baby, boy or girl....there are so many pros and cons with both, I just don't care.....hopefully that doesn't sound weird


I might feel different if this was 2nd baby, but you have a right to feel however you want to, regardless of what others say!

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

Just like you, my dream order is- boy, boy, girl...So far my dreams are coming true and I could not be more excited for another .

However- I feel like some of my family and friends were a little disappointed I was having another boy.

On a daily basis people ask if I know what Im having, and when I tell them its another boy... so many people feel "sorry" for me... which leaves me

I really dont care either way...I just want my kids to be healthy..

People always have something to say, I just try to let most things roll off my back

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

I would love boy, girl, girl

But that would mean I am having three children. At this point in my life, I don't know if that's in the cards for us.

This is my first baby, and everyone assumes I want a girl. I hear it over and over. A girl would be so nice.

Ummm, so would a boy! It's annoying.

Re: Do you care what the baby's sex is? Kind of a vent...

Isn't it weird that in some cultures and in history's past, a boy is/was the favored sex (think of Henry VIII and such)...but here and now, it seems like all people "think" you should be having is a girl. Is it because they get cuter clothes? You get to do their hair? I don't get it. Because when people comment, it seems these are some of the only reasons they can come up with.

Our first child on the way is a boy and though I haven't received any direct negative comments, I have noticed some people seemed to want us to have a girl more than a boy. Though I love my grandmother to death and I know she is happy no matter what, hearing my mom say she was a little disappointed it wasn't a girl was a tad hurtful for me. It's not as if we can control these things first of all. I know there's nothing wrong with having a preference - but I sometimes wish people would keep it to themselves.

Deep down I think all of our friends and family just wish for us to have a healthy baby so I try to keep that in perspective. It can be hard though!