Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

and then get pg lose their IF sensitivity?

I've seen it happen, and I find it very upsetting

I often wonder if these people realize what they are doing...

I hate when people forget where they came from...

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I personally have not seen this happen. But, the main people I know that have dealt with infertility are from here. And as we all know, the woman on this board are the best!
I am however, sorry you are dealing with anyone who is being ignorant and/or insensitive regarding your issues. That is one of the worst feelings, not having someone to talk to.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Posted by Gertyrae

I personally have not seen this happen. But, the main people I know that have dealt with infertility are from here. And as we all know, the woman on this board are the best!
I am however, sorry you are dealing with anyone who is being ignorant and/or insensitive regarding your issues. That is one of the worst feelings, not having someone to talk to.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

i have seen it ....Before I was PG myself and now.

I know I havent at least I hope lost my sensitivty, because I still feel very sensitive.

I feel very jealous of PG women and wonder if it was "easy" for them.

I hate what people take for granted.

I hate that I feel that way, but I dont think it will ever go away.

I dont neccesarily feel a connection to many PG women, but a little more so at least with those who went through IF. I think it becomes a part of who you are....and those who sort of "move on" as we have seen, well to be 100% honest, I dont feel they suffered much in the first place ...harsh as that sounds.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I can't believe you brought this up - its like you read my mind. I've seen both, but the ones 'pushing' it seem to have gotten pg with limited treatments, or it worked multiple times, basically treatment worked for them and they didn't dela with the roller coaster that some of us have.. and then there are the opposte, who are so thankful for what they have, and encouraging.
I think some of it depends on the individual personality, and how some people take things in their stride and others (ME) take it much more personally

That all said, I have been hoping (obviously) that this IVF works and I will never, never take what I have for granted - at least I hope not

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I hope you don't mind if I stick with this board a bit longer. I am presently less than 6 wks pregnant and on prednisone to try to keep it. IUI has worked for me, BUT I have had 2 miscarriages in the past 8 months. I have already had cramping and bleeding with this pregnancy and do not feel that I belong anywhere near the pregnancy board. If I miscarry again it looks like IVIg with IVF for me due to NKa+. I realize that I can not possibly understand what some of you have already gone through, but do try to be sensitive to that.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Posted by rose825

Posted by Gertyrae

I personally have not seen this happen. But, the main people I know that have dealt with infertility are from here. And as we all know, the woman on this board are the best!
I am however, sorry you are dealing with anyone who is being ignorant and/or insensitive regarding your issues. That is one of the worst feelings, not having someone to talk to.

really??? I have seen it right from this board. All the IFers in my life outside of here have never lost their sensitivty.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

This has happened to me as well but not here. A "friend" of mine whom was trying to conceive for years, who literally got so upset when people asked her when she was planning on having babies and who finally conceived through IVF is unbelievably insensitive. She didn't know that I was TTC concieve (actually no one knew I was TTC) except my DH and the ladies on this site. So during her pregnancy when I would see her she repeatedly ask me when am I going to have kids and I mean constantly to a point where I just got so annoyed and wanted to say something mean to her but I didn't. I said to her how many times are you going to ask me the same question.

I don't understand how someone with IF issues could do this to anyone whether or not they were TTC or not.

I myself am definitely sensitive to women with IF problems because I am right there with you.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I see it too and it bothers me -- a lot. If I make a comment, I get chastised like "You IF ladies should stick up for each other!" Hello, I do -- and I am happy to see anyone get off this board. But it bothers me to see IFers forget what it feels like to post about their baby(ies) in every single response, no matter what the topic is.

Also -- I don't have to "like" every IFer. If you post on pets, does that mean you "like" every person who posts on pets? Do I like every person who has the same car as me? No, certainly not. But I celebrate every single victory on here.

It bothers me that people forget because I remember the pain for me, and I feel it for my friends who are still dealing with this.

PS -- I hope I am not insensitive since I graduated, I try to share my own experience sometimes in the hopes that I can help others....

Message edited 1/10/2007 10:08:29 AM.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Posted by LisaW

and then get pg lose their IF sensitivity?

I've seen it happen, and I find it very upsetting

I often wonder if these people realize what they are doing...

I hate when people forget where they came from...

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Yes, definitely. It bothers me so much because I try so hard to be extra sensitive about it.

It's a little different but, my work friend Pat, had two failed donor egg situations.

While she was dealing with the fact that she may NEVER have kids, our friend Carrie and I were both going through IF treatments.

Pat always asked how we were doing but also had days where she couldn't handle talking about it.

Well, both Carrie and I got pregnant (she's already had her baby).

Carrie made a big public announcement about it. And was CONSTANTLY talking about the pregnancy and whipping out pictures of sonos, complaining about how she felt, etc.

I made sure to tell Pat first before I announced - which I still did quietly and I NEVER bring it up unless she does.

It's taken a real toll on their relationship, and I've started to resent Carrie as well for her insensitivity.

I mean, I'm just as excited as Carrie, why am I able to keep it respectable and Carrie was so freaking over the top?


And by the way, if any of you ever see me say anything on these boards that you percieve as insensitive to IFers, I want you to IMMEDIATELY FM me and let me know.

I would hate to think people thought that of me and I would want to be aware of what I said so I wouldn't repeat it.

Sorry you are all still dealing with this. I hope you all are able to be sensitive graduates soon!!

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Wow yes...my SIL is pregnant after being with her husband for 10 years many of those with no BC. She thought she would never be able to have another baby...her first she had when she was very young (16) with someone else. She always told me that she didn't think she would ever be able to get PG again however they didn't have the money to do IF treatments. Well she got a natural BFP and now is 5 months Preggos. She knows all the stuff DH and I have been through and are going through and she constantly asks me to rub her belly when I see her and has asked me if she shows when she was only 6 weeks along Although I am happy for her she is so insensitive! DH has come to a point where he says he doesn't want to see her anymore. As for me, I don't see how I could ever become insensitive to anyone with IF it doesn't matter how many kids I end up having natural or with ART. IF has become a part of me and will always be one of the struggles that I I will overcome. That in itself would make me realize where I came from and no that a lot of people don't get preggos by just looking at each other. IMO, I don't understand how someone that has dealt with IF and overcome it can be so insensitive. For me, not being able to get PG at the drop of a hat will always be a part of me....I have accepted the fact that DH & I are not one of the "fertiles" and therefore I cannot understand how they feel about getting PG and they cannot understand how I feel about getting PG.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I find that it has made me MORE sensitive to people who have If problems. I have struggled with IF for 2 and a half years and finally have the chance to experience what it is like to be a mom, and I NEVER ask anyone when and if they are having kids. In fact many people I know now are having or have had problems and they come to me for advice and support and I am there with open arms because I know what they are or did go through and that makes the process a lot easier

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

It is annoying! However, for me, it would bother me more if the girls I got close to became insensitive. Luckily, it hasn't happened.

As for my personal life, it seems like I am the Lone Ranger dealing with IF.

Message edited 1/10/2007 5:19:44 PM.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I also feel - that I have met some wonderful people thru my IF struggles so I can't say it has been ALL bad....

Youse knows whose youse are...

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Interesting question--I really only know 3 people who have been through IF and 2 of them I don't know well.

One of them is very sensitive with IF issues, even after having a baby.

Another one is not very sensistive and does not understand that not everyone will respond with minimal intervention like she had.

Another one is pregnant right now and, honestly, I call her pregnantzilla. I am shocked at some of thie things she says and does. She is beyond insensitive.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Posted by karacg

I hope I am not insensitive since I graduated, I try to share my own experience sometimes in the hopes that I can help others....

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

you girls are THE girls i love the most!! you know how i feel about many of the other boards

i never forget my roots because i know i would have never made it through this journey without you girls.

i pray i have never offended anyone here, because that would truly break my heart.

but more than that i pray that you all find the success you all deserve.

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I have known some people who lost thier sensitivity to IF and I just don't/can't understand it. IF was such a huge part of my life for nearly three years. It is embedded in me and I feel that I can never forget what its like. Like Lauren, if I ever post insensitive please call me out on it.

I don't post on here a lot but I lurk la ton and I am always sending

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

It's funny someone here mentioned "limited treatments" to get PG and I am one of those people, but I felt I always had such compassion for others who were 40 miles and 400 miles ahead of me on the IF path. Now everytime I see my friend who is struggling through IF I feel guilty now and sometimes I question whether or not to ask her how she is b/c sometimes I feel like she is mad or angry at me just the same way I was when I saw PG women.

Please yell at me if I say something to offend. You girls were such a source of encouragement, understanding, advice, etc. I couldn't have done this without you.

Whatever you do though, definitely remind those IF who are insensitive where they came from!

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

I just want to add everyone on this thread who said they hoped they have never offended..... NEVER has

Re: Do you feel that people that dealt with IF

Posted by rose825

I just want to add everyone on this thread who said they hoped they have never offended..... NEVER has