Re: Do you find this strange?

honestly it gets tough to manage all the holidays and some parents are not understanding that you are married and have a whole new family-- and both husband and wife may feel it's very important to be with their families-- sometimes it's easier to split up than to be together. It can be considered weird-- but people do what works for them-- personally I loathe the holidays for this very reason.

Re: Do you find this strange?

We always spend them together, exept this year, Its my grandmas 80th on thanksgiving, and its his aunt and uncles, 30th anniversary and Aunts birhtday same day. So he is going to Queens and I am not. I will be with my grandmother ( who has been pretty sick )He doent mind, especially since we are fighting for the last week massive silent treatment.

Message edited 5/21/2009 10:21:35 AM.

Re: Do you find this strange?

We did while we were dating when it worked out better for us logistically.

Now that we are married, there's no way we'd spend them apart.

I could see us spending them apart if I had a hellish MIL or vice versa but we love each other's families and spending time with them.

Re: Do you find this strange?

I would not spend a holiday apart from my DH...we are a family now and we make it work, we split it or we share it-both our families together and this seems to work nicely. If it didnt, we would have to figure something else out cause for me, it is not an option to spend a holiday apart from DH... but to each his own...

Re: Do you find this strange?

No way! I would not allow that to happen. You have to compromise....I can't imagine spending the holidays apart from my DH

Re: Do you find this strange?

I guess if it works for them, the its fine....its corny but i would miss my dh too much!

Re: Do you find this strange?

I vowed never to spend another holiday being somewhere that I did not want to be. So we would seperate. DH's parents are divorced, so that is a headache in itself.

Now with a baby, I don't see us seperating, however, I don't see me spending it with my inlaws either.

Re: Do you find this strange?

I don't see anything wrong with it, it might just be easier for them around.

We don't normally spend the holidays apart, but last year someone had to stay home with the dog when she was sick, so I went to my mom's Christmas Eve and DH went to his family's on Christmas Day.

Re: Do you find this strange?

We did Thanksgiving apart once when my dh went to see his family. Of course against my judgement that things would turn out bad and they did (dysfunctional family-his!).

Re: Do you find this strange?

I think its strange, we both come from divorce families, and between 4 families we find ways to make it work and still stay together no matter what

Re: Do you find this strange?

Re: Do you find this strange?

i dont think it is strange for some holidays. in fact in the future, i may be in that same situation. b/c i live so far from my family and will only get to see them 1-2 times a year, it may be just me flying home to see my family, b/c of money $$$. the airline tickets may be too much for both of us to go, so in that case i may be the one to go, b/c it is my family.

next xmas we plan to go back to NY, but if a situation arises and we do not have the funds, then it may be just me going. this year is the first xmas we will be together and in the same country since we have known each other. we are used to it.

Re: Do you find this strange?

Wow...that's VERY odd...at least IMHO. We always find a way to "split" holidays - whether it be on the actual day, or alternating....

Re: Do you find this strange?

we were apart last thanksgiving

Jake is an only child - so if he doesn't go- there is no one there

and I wanted to be with my family-

but now all of our parents moved- so it actually makes things easier

I didn't like being apart- but I can't split myself in 2 either

Re: Do you find this strange?

I cant imagine it after we were married or engaged. When we were dating we spent them apart- Im not sure why, it was a long time ago... but married never would even think about it.

Re: Do you find this strange?

im not sentimental like that- if there was an issue wuth one side really being a PITA, to appease them i would split part of the time then meet up later or something

thankfully that issue doesnt really exist so we both do the rounds together
but i can see it happening if you are dealing with some over the top family members

some people dont do everything the traditioal way- as long as it doesnt bother her and shes cool with it, i feel everyone else should be cool with it too,
know what i mean?

Re: Do you find this strange?

No way, the only time we spent a holiday apart is 3 months after we were dating.

Re: Do you find this strange?

I find it strange for a married couple to split the holidays. I would assume that since it was the first holiday as a married couple, there would be a change this year or at least they would have figured out a compromise between their parents so they could spend it together. I wonder what they plan to do when they have children.

Re: Do you find this strange?

It would be weird for US, that doesn't mean that it wouldn't work for other people. I actually am not seeing my family on Thanksgiving and not seeing my extended family on Christmas because I want to see my DH (who is working). My DH doesn't have any family, so I wouldn't want to leave him alone on a holiday.

I do know that my cousin and her ex were together for 7 years and they never spent a holiday together because they didn't want to compromise on where to spend it. This was a huge thing with them.

Re: Do you find this strange?

Strange? A little.

As a married couple, you have to make it work. I couldn't imagine spending the holidays without him.

That being said, we're one of the lucky ones. His mom goes away for the entire month of November (or she's been doing it for the past few years, anyway) so we spend Thanksgiving with my family. His family celebrates Christmas on Christmas day, and mine on Christmas Eve, so again, it works for us.

Re: Do you find this strange?

Eh, to each his/her own. I happen to be lucky about the holidays, because DH and I are much closer (emotionally) to my family than to his, and he never even brings up the subject of spending holidays with his family. If he did, though, I can imagine considering staying with my family while he visited his. Being with my parents and sister and grandma for Christmas is very important to me, but I wouldn't want to "force" DH into always agreeing with me about what's important.

Heck, DH and I spend all year together, anyway!