Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

Now, if it's just me and DH and MIL and FIL, I'll usually say what I feel. On Christmas Day, DH's uncle had WAY too much to drink, and began to be rude to his aunt. His feelings were hurt over something he got her for Christmas, and instead of keeping it between the two of them, he chose (after WAY too many drinks) to bring it to the table, and he was being so rude, so out of line to her, that I felt sorry for her and began to get angry. The Spanish in me was trying very hard to stay cool and instead of jump in when it wasn't my business, I looked at DH and he looked at me...and we eyed each other and decided to leave. I kinda wish I'd said something, but as DH said, it pays nada to argue with someone who is drunk. Not only that, but even though I am "in" the family, I didn't think it was my business to share my two cents. Do you jump in on family business? Or...keep quiet? Curious. Ah, the holidays!

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

I woould be tempted to say something,
I was ****** at my brother and sil these holidays and did not say one word.
I normally would. I figured in the end what I say means nada, and it will fuel the argument who cares.
I think u did the right thing.
maybe he realized it after u guys left.

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

"ah, the holidays" - you can say that again! i think you did the right thing by keeping quiet. it would kill me too, but i think you did right a. since he was drunk, it'd be like talking to a wall and b. since it's extended family, i'd prob feel weird about jumping in... i'd just tell DH my 2 cents later, lol

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

Posted by MrsKelly

"ah, the holidays" - you can say that again! i think you did the right thing by keeping quiet. it would kill me too, but i think you did right a. since he was drunk, it'd be like talking to a wall and b. since it's extended family, i'd prob feel weird about jumping in... i'd just tell DH my 2 cents later, lol

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

I always jump in when it's MY family, but I expect DH to keep quiet unless the drama is happening in OUR home.

So, I try to do the same in return. Again, unless something is happening in OUR home.

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

Regardless of how "in the family" you may think you are- you're not. You're married in, but not "technically" in. You were wise to keep out of it.

I ALWAYS keep my mouth shut in regards to issues within DH's family. His brother's wife does not, so she's known as the troublemaker.

Recently, my brother's wife (who I love dearly) made a somewhat judgemental comment to my mom and me about an issue between my sister and sister's husband. Had I or my mom said it, it would have been nothing, but coming from SIL, it was out of line.

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

When I first married into my husband's family, I kept my mouth shut as far as his relatives were concerned. I only expressed my opinions to him. No matter how much one may think they are "in" the family, they really are not. Fast forward 30 years and, now, I say what I feel. There was just a very big problem with one of his sisters and her son and when an opportunity was presented to me, I let it be known how I felt and what I thought of his sister for doing what she did to his mother. I've been around too long and seen more than I care to, especially with this one particular sister, for me to keep quiet at this point. If they don't want my opinion, then don't tell me what is going on and, quite frankly, I don't really care if they like it or not. I'm not out to impress anyone. Even, with his mother, though I may say it more gently, I speak frankly. I guess because we are all older we are more open to what others have to say. I won't deliberately hurt anyone, but, I won't shy away from the truth either.

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

Posted by MrsKelly

"ah, the holidays" - you can say that again! i think you did the right thing by keeping quiet. it would kill me too, but i think you did right a. since he was drunk, it'd be like talking to a wall and b. since it's extended family, i'd prob feel weird about jumping in... i'd just tell DH my 2 cents later, lol

Re: Do you keep your mouth shut with DH's family business?

now, i put my .02 in, only if i am involved in the argument. my dh's family on his mom's side seem to have the same argument when they get together. and i listen, but don't comment. it has nothing to do with me.

i will chime in if i'm at the dinner table when something starts.