Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

By comparison to my friends, I was spoiled. My parents first emphasis was on education, to a fault I believe. I wasn't allowed to work during the school year for high school and College because my parents wanted me to focus 100% on my education. I wasn't even allowed to participate in sports in high school because they thought it would detract from my studies.

So, they paid for my College tuition, room, board and they gave me a monthly stipend for living expenses.

They did not, however, pay for law school, but they did help me with my living expenses.

What happened? Well, my one brother worked hard and earned good grades even though we were given everything on a silver platter.

My other brother wasted it all without a thought.

And I worked my arse off, earning top grades and graduating Magna Cum Laude from a top 25 liberal arts college.

SO, my point is, giving your children a free ticket doesn't necessarily turn them into spoiled, unappreciative brats, as long as you also make a distinct effort to raise them with ethics and values.

While, personally, I think that working for your money and for your education gives you a keener sense of how important and valuable it is, it's not absolutely NECESSARY to teaching those values.

I have to say though, while I thoroughly appreciated everything my parents gave me, I witnessed SO many students whose parents paid for it all, and they wasted all that money on drinking and partying everyday. But, I chalk that up to the fact that their parents just weren't involved, or didn't raise them with the same perspective I was raised with.

What will I do with Alex? I will pay for her College, but I will also require that she work to cover her living expenses. And, barring asthmatic and eye problems, I WILL encourage her to be involved in sports

Message edited 4/21/2008 4:33:15 PM.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Posted by curliegirl

If my kids want spending $$$, they will have to get a job, whether it be delivering papers or working at CVS.....
I worked from 14 on, AND I maintained a very good GPA....and sometimes had 2 jobs, my kids will not be strangers to working.....

As far as college, I am hoping they will get scholarships..... , but otherwise, I think we should split the costs as best we can afford, but based on grades, that will determine what they will receive from me.
There's no way I'm sending my kids to college so they can party all my $$ away and pull Ds....

IMHO, paying for your own things makes you appreciate them more, I know I wish I didn't have $30k in loans, but it makes me appreciate the hard work I put in.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

i think parents should HELP pay for school, but not pay for all of it. i like the way my parents did it.
they paid for 3 out of 4 years of undergrad school. they could have paid for all 4 years, but they wanted my sister and i to be responsible for paying for some of it. they felt like we would appreciate it more if we knew we were paying for some it.... and not party it all away. they also encouraged us to look at state schools which were good, but more reasonable cost.
it worked out well. i have some student loans, but its very manageable, and i feel like it helped me appreciate college more.
i plan to do the same thing for our kids someday... or encourage them to study a trade instead of gonig to college. there are a lot of great careers out there that don't require a college degree.

ETA: i also grew up working from a VERY early age. my parents owned a garden center, and i remember them saying to me " well if you work for one hour, i'll give you the money to go to the movies with your friends tonight". it was a simple way to teach us that we had to work for what we wanted.

Message edited 4/21/2008 4:37:25 PM.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I will do the same thing my parents did with me (and my siblings).

They paid for most of my school and I took out a small loan. We all worked part time jobs in high school (except for my youngest brother ) and were free to do with that money whatever we pleased.

After all, I will be paying for him to go to grammar and high school, so why stop at college?

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I certainly believe in teaching my child about the importance of hard work and fiscal responsibility, but I will also do my best to help send him to college. Let's face it sending a child to even an in state 4 year college is difficult enough for parents who are earning a decent living. I don't want my DS to have to take out student loans at ubsurd interest rates and start his adult life already in debt up to his eyeballs.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

To a certain extent yes.

I will provide my son with the living expenses, textbook $, etc. but tuition will be covered by his college savings account, loans, etc...especially if he is a bright cookie and goes on to med school or law school I will also expect him to have a little side job where he can earn his own money and learn the responsibility of earning and spending his own money.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Double post...

Message edited 4/21/2008 4:42:39 PM.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

My children will get after school part time jobs as teenagers, they will pay for cell phones, and recreation items (movies, dates, whatever...)

I will of course carryi all the necessities...

With that said, if I can afford to cover their college expenses (Rj has had an account since he was 2 months old) I will, but DS (and future DC) will be responsible for some part (even if its just books)

I paid for college 100% (still am paying those loans) and IMO it made me less likely to "screw around" this was my money so I felt the consequences more than if it was mommy and daddy's money... KWIM?

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

DH has a fund set aside for his daughter - she is graduating this year - she works only on Saturdays and some of the money goes into her savings, some she gets for going out.

We will do whatever we can for Caieln. I'm hopeing by then we will have some money saved up for him - but I am not oppsed to him working...

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

No...I dont think so at all. Depends on what you teach your kids and to make them understand the costs early on and help with the grades etc

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Nope. But we will provide for private K-12 schooling to give them a strong foundation for scholarships and other opportunities.

I attended a CUNY University for 20,000 and paid out of my own pocket for four years and my husband attended a military academy which was free (so to speak...)

We both graduated in four years and we don't have school loans.

We both started working at 14.

Message edited 4/21/2008 5:03:04 PM.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I plan to help my child through school. I too believe that a PART time job in HS is a good thing to teach a child responsibility and the value of money. I also think it give a child a sense of independence that i think is very important.
FULL time job in HS....NO!

When my child goes to college we will attempt to pay for the majority of the expense. If we can afford it all we will. Nor do i want my child to have a full time job while in college. I want him to be able to experience college without the worry or burden of money expenses. I would though understand if he did get a PT job there to pay for leisure activities.

I would also be encouraging a full time job duing the summers.

This is the way i experience HS and college and i thought it was great.

EDITED: should a parent HAVE to pay for anything, certainly not

Message edited 4/21/2008 6:21:58 PM.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I always worked. My parents never really saved for my college education. My father had it drawn up in the divorce papers that my mother would have to pay for my college education and he would pay for my brother's, knowing full well that with my brother's learning disabilities that he would not be going to college. So needless to say I had and still have a huge amount of student loans that we are paying off. We will do our best to save for our children's college. I know that we will probably be taking out Plus loans, but I will do my best to burden them the least with loans. I will have them working as teenagers because I do feel that working teaches responsibility. They will probably have to do a 60/40 split with what they earn, save 60 and spend 40.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I would like to pay for DD's (& any future children's) undergrad college, the way my parents did. Like I did, I would like her to get her to get a part-time job, but I will not make her work full-time every summer the way I did all through high school. I would like her to have some fun. I really felt like I missed out on alot. The money was good though. As far as grad school (if they want to go,) we'll see what our financial situation is...

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

Any accountant will tell you to save for your retirement before you save money for your children's education. A paid for Education for my children will be a luxury not a necessity. Life is much different for our generation than it was for our parents. Things cost more for us in every regard. God bless those parents that can and did do it. I paid for both of my degrees, and although my mother probably wished she could have, she was under no obligation to do so.

Message edited 4/21/2008 7:01:04 PM.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

We plan to do exactly what you are planning. This was done for DH, I had to do it on loans. I'd much rather see my kids have an easier start than I did.

We both worked as teenagers and each had food, clothing, shelter and some entertainment paid for by parents, what we earned was for savings/fun money. We'll do the same but also make our kids do some investing. We also each had cars provided that we had unrestricted use of but weren't ours specifically. I'm not sure what we'll do as far as that goes, it will depend on what the kid(s) is/are like as teenagers.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I'm on the fence.

My parents paid for college. I walked out of Fordham not owing a dime. I absolutely appreciate what they did for me...however when I was in college, I didn't think twice about skipping class. I always did well in school & could get by with it. But, I didn't study as much as my other roommates.

My roommate who was on a full scholarship, worked her tush off as an RA to get her room & board paid for knew exactly how much it cost her down to the penny if she missed class.

I grew up very comfortably & never really had to extend myself to succeed. I'm not sure if paying for college reduces the drive to succeed. It could be that those paying for college were more driven than I ever was.

My assumption is that we will help out as much as we can but that they will pay for some of it. If they fall below a certain grade level, they're on their own. Also from conversations I've had with my ILs, it could be possible that they are paying for the entire amount of college for my kids. If that were the case, I'd still want the grade requirement.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

In a perfect world, we would assist in payment for our kid's college educations. I cannot see footing the bill completely though.

I did not start working until the summer before my senior year of HS. DH started working at 14 (and has not stopped since).

When I started college, my parents agreed to pay for it until i got a job. I also was living at home and started paying "rent" when I started working. That "rent" my mom put in a savings acct for me and I got that when I graduated.

My brother (who is older) was able to have my parents pay for his 2 years away at school. he went to school in Illinois, so that meant they footed the whole bill.

DH paid for school 100% himself. Neither his sister nor brother received assistance from his parents either.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

my parents always said they'd pay for college instead of my wedding. And they did - tuition, room & board, for 4 years. But I worked in HS, and during college. I knew responsibility and the value of the dollar.

Al paid his own way through college and grad school (and has the loans to prove it).

I certainly don't think parents "should have to" pay for college, but I would like to be able to. Ella already has a college savings acct.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

We started an account for Bryan the month he was born.
He will work as a teenager, PT.
I worked from age 16 on (started babysitting at 14).
My parents helped a little. I took out loans.
We will help DS as much as we can.
If he wants to go away to school, he may have to foot the Room and Board portion of it.

Re: Do you think parents should have to help pay for college?

I was never given anything, paid for college with loans, paid for my wedding etc...seriously not given a thing. Dh wasn't given much either. I don't want to spoil my DD, but as her mother, I want to provide as much as I can for her and still teach her the value of what she is given. I want more for her.