DS broke my heart tonight

I picked Eddie up from daycare, and in the car he tells me "I was lost today". I said, "what do you mean you were lost?" To which he replies, "You were gone today, I was lost". I said, "you werent lost today, you were at school (daycare)". Then he replies in his saddest little voice, "yes, I was lost Mommy, you left me, you left me Mommy."

Then the tears started (mine) and he pouted in the backseat the rest of the way home, occasionally going "mommy, you left me" in this little pitiful voice.

Then DH gets home and he tells him "Mommy left me" and DH said "Mommy didnt leave you, she took you to school so you could see your friends and play". DS then goes, and kind of yells..."Yes she did leave me, Mommy and Daddy left me" and walked out of the room.

I tried to reassure him, that Id never leave him and I will always come back and that sometimes Mommys and Daddys have to go to work and leave their babies and that I miss him too.

Then later we were snuggling on the couch and he puts his hand on my face and says "turn mommy" (to look at him) and he said it AGAIN!

It just broke my heart. Hes never ever done this before and hes been in daycare since he was like 10mos old, and its 2 days a week.

What should I do? Its making me so sad and I feel so guilty. What do you say to a 2.5 year old to make him understand?

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

I'm sure he doesn't really mean it.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

i'm crying reading your post - I'm so sorry

I guarantee he still thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Posted by greeneyes361708

I'm sure he doesn't really mean it.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

do you think he's capable of understanding what work is?

maybe its time to give him a little calendar and let him countdown the days til the weekend?

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Could you bring DS to your office to have him see where you work and what you do? I would try to explain to him why you go to work - i.e. money to buy food, toys, house, etc. I think they really understand a lot more than they are given credit for at this age. I had this conversation with DS a few weeks ago when he was questioning why daddy has to work so late. I am so sorry he is upset.

ETS: As an example, if you work in marketing, I would say something like you see the commercials on tv, they are trying to convince you to buy something. You prob don't need it but they want you to get it. I work on something like that, trying to get people to buy xyz.

I would try to make what ever it is that you do relevant to him in his daily life.

Message edited 2/2/2010 10:39:15 PM.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Message edited 2/2/2010 10:40:19 PM.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

I would try to do it on take your child to work day. Alternatively, ask your boss if you could do it for 10 minutes on a day you don't work.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

omggggg...no advice, just so many

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

I still think he heard someone say this at daycare, I don't understand why he would say it all of a sudden...ya know.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Posted by DPerotti

I still think he heard someone say this at daycare, I don't understand why he would say it all of a sudden...ya know.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by DPerotti

I still think he heard someone say this at daycare, I don't understand why he would say it all of a sudden...ya know.

I think bc he can, bc he has learned to express himself.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

I'd suggest reading him "The Kissing Hand", so even when mommy isn't there, he's never alone - your kiss is always with him.

Ella is a big fan, in fact, she gave me a kissing hand

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Posted by -Lisa-

I'd suggest reading him "The Kissing Hand", so even when mommy isn't there, he's never alone - your kiss is always with him.

Ella is a big fan, in fact, she gave me a kissing hand

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Imho, he may have heard someone say something like that at daycare....thats what dd does with stuff......


hoping it gets easier for you!

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Llama Llama Misses Mama is a really good book.. it's about just that.. the mommy going to work and the baby staying at school.. but at the end she always comes back for him.. it's very cute

I was a SAHM with my DS until he was about 3 1/2 and he would get upset sometimes when I started leaving to go to work..

While he was being babysat by my parents/inlaws/his dad..It broke my heart because I had just recently seperated from his dad and was so worried he'd think I was leaving him too..



The only advice I have is to try to remind him why you have to go to work.. which is obviously so you can buy him toys and maybe bring him back a suprise every once in a while.. even something little.. (maybe I'm a sucker but that's what I did)

DS got to the point where he would tell anyone who would listen about how I work now.. but it's okay cause I have to make the "moneys" so I can get him stuff

I know it's hard to deal with and they break your heart a little when they say things like that.. but its only because they love you so much

Oh.. just wanted to add that he DID tell me a few times when he REALLY wanted me to stay home that I don't have to make the "moneys" because DAD makes all the "moneys" and he has plenty

Message edited 2/2/2010 11:28:35 PM.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

OMG....I would have lost it. I think its definitely the age as DD started this this week also. We bring her to my MIL's or mom's house & while at my mom's house she refused to talk to me on the phone. My parents asked her why & she said, no like mommy; mommy goes to work and leaves Gracie. I wanted to cry.

Hang in there, I know it hurts

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

I tell miki that I have to work to buy her toys and candy, that usually works

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Another book is

"When Momimy comes home tonight"...

It is a great board book about working mommies and how much they love their babies and all the things they will do when they come home!

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

I wonder if he heard someone say that. Sounds odd that he is saying that now. Maybe even a tv show?

I am sorry. That must hurt.

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

Posted by pinkandblue

I tell miki that I have to work to buy her toys and candy, that usually works

Re: DS broke my heart tonight

My daughter has done the same things. Some days she is just devestated that I'm leaving her, then on others she practically pushes me out of the door at the babysitter's house.

Be happy that he's so articulate at such a young age!

ETA: I also love The Kissing Hand book.

Message edited 2/3/2010 7:53:34 AM.