Experiencing pregnancy with a friend

My BF and I decided we would like to be pregnant at the same time so we can experience things for the first time together. My DH thinks this is a bad idea and if one of us can't conceive right away, it will make the feelings worse.

My question is, has anyone done this and what was your experience? Did you find it to be great to have someone to share in these changes with you? Did you ever feel bad about conceiving when someone close to you is struggling and if so, how did you deal with it?

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I felt awful TTC when my friends were getting PG and it turned out I was dealing with infertility and I now feel awful being PG and some of my friends are not and are struggling.

I always wanted to be PG with a friend, but now I know its near impossible and It will, yes, cause someone to feel bad if god forbid there is an issue with one of you.

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no experience with it. But I would be heartbroken if I or her got preggo and I or her couldn't

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Posted by MomofAbbyEmily

no experience with it. But I would be heartbroken if I or her got preggo and I or her couldn't

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If it happens by chance that I am pregnant at the same time as a friend or 2, that is fine. I have a few friends due in the coming months, before me. Sorry to say, but I would not have any desire to set something like this up on purpose. When I come on here asking for advice, I can take whatever it is that people have to say. However, when a friend who is 2 months ahead of me gives unsolicited advice as if she is an expert in all things pregnancy, I am not going to be happy. I know that at least one of my friends will do this. I don't really want to compare notes about who is gaining the most weight, who is having an easier or tougher time and eventually, whose children reach milestones faster. Plan your life with your DH based only on the 2 of you.

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My BF got pg in January, and I in March (2005). We did not plan this at all, it was simply a coincidence. I miscarried, she carried to term. I wound up having IF issues and only got pg through IVF a year and a half later.

It was very difficult - for both of us.

I don't think pregnancy is something you can plan, to be honest. More importantly is for you and DH to be together....

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I think that if you and a friend are pregnant at the same time that's great. I don't think you need the added stress of planning out your pregnancies. So much can happen in life that it's best to really just focus on your own family - IMO.

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No experience with it either but I would imagine if one got pregnant and the other didn't it would be very hard on that person. I would say instead of planning it just see what happens, IMO.

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I was pg with my bf. My 1st and her 2nd. Wasnt planned that way. But we did have fun being preggo together and would always compared what our dr's said at appointments. But things took a bad turn in our 3rd trimesters. Her son was diagnosed as having a hole in his heart. When I had my baby I felt bad that I had a healthy baby and she was dealing with her baby having to have surgery immediatley following birth. To make matters worse, her baby was born with downs.

She has adjusted immensly and everyone loves the little guy

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It's nice, but so hard to actually happen. My best friend got pregnant a few weeks after me. Then she lost the baby. It's hard because we really don't share now. I just don't know what to say to her.

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My dear friend (Mrs.Ratz) and I were both "trying" at the same time, and hoping to be pregnant together. We have due dates 20 days apart, and we are thrilled...but it was really just luck!

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My BF and I wanted to get PG at the same time and we actually ended up getting PG within one month of each other. Our due dates were exactly one month apart, it was great! But completely lucky of course...

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Re: Experiencing pregnancy with a friend

My sister and I were pregnant together (my 1st, her 2nd) in 2005--we were due 5 *days* apart and had our daughters 3 days apart. Totally unplanned. I liked that she had been through it before and we could compare notes. To be honest though, my first reaction was disappointment--I wanted my chance to be the "star" of my family--I mean, she got married first, had first grandchild. She's also a lot thinner and selfishly, I though I would be a house compared to her! None of these things were EVER an issue and overall, it was a good experience. I was always worried, though, that we would give birth on the same day and what would my parents do?

Currently, one of my best friends and I are due 5 *days* apart in May (both with our 2nd). When I found out I was pregnant, I was so nervous to tell her because she had been trying for about 1 year and I felt soooo guilty because it happened for me on the first try. She handled it excellently, and lo and behold, she was actually already pregnant and didn't know it! We have a lot of fun comparing bellies, taking pictures, etc. We "stocked up" on baby #2 supplies, maternity clothes, etc. together--it's great. In fact, just about all of my friends have had/are having 2007 babies--about 10 in all--it's insane!!

However, the reality of 2 children the *exact* same age intrudes sooner or later. For example, you can't "just have" your christening: you have someone else to think about and when *she* wants hers. You can't "just have" the 1st b-day: you have to also plan around the other baby. I hate to say it, but the two babies will be compared, perhaps subtly, but they will be...maybe forever.

So, long story short, the whole thing has its ups and downs and I probably wouldn't plan it intentionally, even if that were possible.

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I was actually going to reply about my dear friend Christy when I read her post! I don't know what I would do without her as I go through this amazing experience. I know she would have been there for me regardless, but it is much more fun when we're both in it together. Although we were trying at the same time it was pure luck that it actually happend. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

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Well, I have a story about this.

When I got PG the first time, my best friend and I found out we were pg together within a day of each other. I ended up having a miscarriage a few weeks later- and it was horrible! I wasnt really sure how I was going to able be around her, etc etc- but I got over it because I was truly truly happy for her.

About 7 weeks after my miscarriage, I got PG again- and this one stuck (so far, knock on wood). She is now almost 30 weeks pg- and I am in my 17th week. Its great now- and in the end, I'm sort of glad that we are not in the same stages of pregnancy as each other.

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oh my GOD - how scary Stacey! is the baby's heart ok?

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if it that's what you want, I wish you the best and hope if works out for both of you!

Message edited 12/22/2013 1:44:44 PM.

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My sister and I have children three weeks apart and AJAYSMOM and I are friends and due three days apart.

I had no problem sharing in either one-as much as I hate being comparisons with my daughter and from "other people", it's nice getting a "second opinion" on everything.

Neither were planned this way though...

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I have a friend who got preggo about 2 months after me, she lost the baby, I felt absolutely horrible. Luckily, she got preggo again and is now due in August and things seem to be going well.
I told her that at least one of us will be experienced.

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My best friend was trying to get pregnant and then DH and I decided we wanted to as well. Well, we got pregnant the first month out of the box (August) and she got pregnant in February and had a mc. It isn't hard on our friendship, as we have been friends for many, many years, but I could see how it could be difficult.

If it happens to occur, that would be great, but trying to plan something like this would be very difficult and possibly upsetting.

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My very wonderful friend Denise - BMonster - and I are 2 weeks apart. But this was unplanned. I love that we have gone through these pregnancies together. We have been learning so much together (I especially learn a lot from her). I don't think either of us would have considered planning it together for many of the reasons people mentioned above but I am happy that we are going through this together. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Plus I love that our children will be so close in age and grow up together.

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My good friend raken40 and I are pregnant due three weeks apart. It's nice to share all the ups and downs with her!

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My best friend and I ended up pregnant at the same time... she is due 7 days later than me... it wasnt planned.. just one of those things... but let me tell you its been a BLESSING!!! I dont know what I would have done without having someone who could relate to almost everything I was feeling and going through!!!