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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Family party etiquette, WWYD?
DS & DD were invited to a b-day about a month ago. We RSVP'd we'd attend, it's been on DS's calendar since and he keeps talking about it as he looks at his calendar daily. MIL calls me TODAY (2 days before party) to say she's having a b-day BBQ for my BIL the same day. I told her we had a party scheduled already and she gave me attitude that we'd just have to cancel because this is their uncle's b-day BBQ. I told her they were going to their party and we'd come by after. Was I wrong? It really ticked me off (and ticked her off too).
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Posted 6/6/09 2:11 AM  |
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boobanick
GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 4/07 1223 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
No i dont blame you for being ticked off it would tick me off also. There is no reason why you cant go to both... is the day that she is having the barbecue his actual birthday?
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:14 AM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Posted by boobanick
No i dont blame you for being ticked off it would tick me off also. There is no reason why you cant go to both... is the day that she is having the barbecue his actual birthday?
his birthday is three days after when she wants to have the party. I thought I was being reasonable considering the parties are in two totally opposite directions and I would be driving a considerable distance. The nerve.
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:20 AM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
I'd be ticked. You should do what you planned on first. IF you can make the second party, then try, but don't go crazy!
Can your DH say anything to them about last minute planning?
It is his family.
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:28 AM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Posted by waterspout4
I'd be ticked. You should do what you planned on first. IF you can make the second party, then try, but don't go crazy!
Can your DH say anything to them about last minute planning?
It is his family.
DH is onboard with me. I even suggested for him to go with the baby and I'd come later with the two other kids. He said whatever I wanted to do is fine.
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:39 AM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by waterspout4
I'd be ticked. You should do what you planned on first. IF you can make the second party, then try, but don't go crazy!
Can your DH say anything to them about last minute planning?
It is his family.
DH is onboard with me. I even suggested for him to go with the baby and I'd come later with the two other kids. He said whatever I wanted to do is fine.
Good! Then do it! 
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:43 AM |
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Laura-DDS
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/07 840 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Wow I think you are so NOT wrong. My in-laws pull this on me all the time -they call like a day or 2 before they are flying in to visit like we have nothing to do and it ticks me off! Good luck!
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| Posted 6/6/09 7:01 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
I think you have a good compromise. DH goes with the baby & you're with the older 2.
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| Posted 6/6/09 7:04 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
2 days befoer the party - no way. It's wrong of your MIL (in my opinion) to expect that you will drop everything for this. What if you had plans for something with YOUR family?
Don't get me wrong...I think that family is important and in most circumstances I would put them first but you already committed to something well in advance.
I think that if you can stop by that would be nice - it's over and above and hopefully appreciated for the kind gesture that it is.
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| Posted 6/6/09 7:23 AM |
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ASJ2008
It's a boy!
Member since 11/07 1603 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
I do NOT think you are wrong. That would annoy me too. I think your offer to come by after was above and beyond.
I hope you have fun at the party!
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| Posted 6/6/09 7:47 AM |
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JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
So you are supposed to keep all your weekends free in case MIL wants to throw a last minute party?
She should be more understanding. I think you are being very reasonable. Its her fault for not planning more in advance. Maybe she'll realize this as she mulls it over - Hope it all works out
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| Posted 6/6/09 8:09 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
I would've done the same thing as you. It's completely rude to RSVP to a party and then at the last minute change your mind. It's hurtful to the person who was having the party and I'm sure your MIL would be upset if you did something like that to her. The fact is, you had a previous engagement to attend and she has to understand that. You will see them after, I think that's fair. Do what you feel is right and your MIL will just have to deal. 
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| Posted 6/6/09 8:12 AM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Posted by Ang-Rich
2 days befoer the party - no way. It's wrong of your MIL (in my opinion) to expect that you will drop everything for this. What if you had plans for something with YOUR family?
Don't get me wrong...I think that family is important and in most circumstances I would put them first but you already committed to something well in advance.
I think that if you can stop by that would be nice - it's over and above and hopefully appreciated for the kind gesture that it is.
ITA with Ang!
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| Posted 6/6/09 8:52 AM |
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jes81276
summer fun!
Member since 3/06 4962 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
I think you handled it appropriately, and I would have done the same.
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| Posted 6/6/09 8:53 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
how annoying!!
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| Posted 6/6/09 8:53 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
ummmm - you are not wrong. you already responded to a party and this is a last minute BBQ. Give me a break!
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| Posted 6/6/09 8:58 AM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
okay TY ladies. She actually switched the party to next weekend. Should I tell her the last minute I can't go because my mom is planning something the same day
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| Posted 6/6/09 1:44 PM |
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mommy-of-2-angels
It's all about Sophia
Member since 9/07 1731 total posts
Name:
Laurie
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
absolutely not your kids should not have to miss out b/c you IL do a last minute thing...my IL's do that all the time and if I fell like I can't go I don't...I think you were bending over backwards by saying you'd come after!!
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:07 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
I would have handled it the same way as you did.
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| Posted 6/6/09 2:35 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Posted by MrsBumbleb
okay TY ladies. She actually switched the party to next weekend. Should I tell her the last minute I can't go because my mom is planning something the same day
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| Posted 6/6/09 9:40 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
Posted by dawnygirl25
Posted by MrsBumbleb
okay TY ladies. She actually switched the party to next weekend. Should I tell her the last minute I can't go because my mom is planning something the same day
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| Posted 6/6/09 11:48 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family party etiquette, WWYD?
you handled it correctly.. its not like its a grandparents i dunno 90th bday - and your not sure how long they'll be around...
also- if you change your plans for her she'll always think she can do it..
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| Posted 6/6/09 11:50 PM |
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