Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about sleep issues

Tonight I had to walk away before I lost it. My little one fought me on naps all day and I'm feeling like such a failure because my kids are terrible sleepers. I don't understand where I went wrong. I really don't think I did anything different than the rest of the people we know with kids, but mine just don't sleep well. I don't know what I'm looking for by posting. But I'm sitting here feeling totally overwhelmed. I dread bedtime because every night is a battle and it is such a stressful way to end the day.

My two year old fights us every night sometimes for hours. I know he's tired but he just will not go to sleep. We have done CIO multiple times, we've tried our pediatricians suggestion of putting him back over and over with no interaction and it didn't work. We did a chart with a treasure chest if he went to bed well and it only worked for a few weeks.

Now, my 4 1/2 month old is freaking out every time he gets near his crib. I tried so hard with him to foster good sleep habits. He used to go down with no fuss, just put him in the crib and he slept. But, he has never come close to STTN. He still gets up at least twice a night to eat and usually we go in a few more times to sooth him. I was ok with that because he went down easy, but lately it's been getting harder and harder to get him down. Today was the worst. It took me over an hour to get him down for his naps because he kept getting upset.

I don't understand why some kids can sleep well and mine just can't. I've read every book and tried so hard and it doesn't work. Is there any chance it will get better as they get older? I love my boys and I love being their mom but the sleep issues are putting me over the edge. I don't want my life to be a battle every day.

Re: Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about sleep issues

Awwwww please don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you're doing a GREAT job and it's just the frustration and fatigue taking a toll on you...

4.5 mo is still young for STTN so I wouldn't worry about him too much...
But if they're both having issues and you've ruled out anything physical (reflux, teething, etc) then you might need to assess the "environmental" stuff.

For instance do you have blackout shades in their room(s)??? These helped us so much for naps and bedtime once the evenings started getting longer and longer....
How's the temp in their rooms???
Would a white noise machine help??

And of course the whole "bath/bottle/book" routine is important, but I assume you're pretty disciplined about the routine from your post...

Is your older one just hoping for a little extra time with you SOLO at bedtime?? Maybe he needs a little extra one-on-one time?

You don't have to answer all these ?s, just trying to think of all of the possibilities to help you....

Re: Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about sleep issues

Trust me....You are NOT alone !!

I always say if "sleep" was a subject in Parenting , I would get an "F"

Both my kids dislike sleep , my 19m old DD still waked anywhere between 2-7x a night most nights and my DS takes forever to settle down

In addition they BOTH are up at 5:30am

This is coming from someone who ran a daycare and was able to get 2 babies sleeping at the same time in one room and 4 toddlers to lay down on cots for close to 2 hours

I have NO idea what the story is with my kids and sleeping but I try to tell myself that they just love me so much that they can't bear to be away from me

Hang in there

Re: Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about sleep issues

So happy to hear it's not just me. I have a sleep routine with both boys. We do have blackout shades, I use white noise machines in both rooms. All the tricks others swear by just don't cut it with my two.

There was a post last week for March mommies and everyone who responded had a baby STTN. I was too depressed about my nonsleeper to even comment because it just doesn't seem fair sometimes.

Re: Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about sleep issues

DO you ever let them CIO? I think the 4.5 month old is a little young for it, but my dr said at 4 months they can CIO for a few minutes at a time - no more than 15-20 minutes though. Is he really hungry or just waking up out of habit? Can you try to cut it down to one feeding?

As far as the 2 year old, is he in a bed? If he's in a crib, again do you let him cry for a bit? I know it's really hard when they are older and can yell for you.

I'm so sorry - I HATE sleeping issues and it's my number 1 complaint about being a parent.