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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Flowers by accidents
OK i just do NOT get why people want to put flowers on the side of a road where an fatal accident has occured...
I know that they died there and i know people are upset. BUT WHY put flowers on a tree or poll on the side fo the road? I find it utterly morbid and something i would never do
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Posted 8/1/05 10:14 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Flowers by accidents
i dont understand it either. It gives me an eeries feeling when I pass by. They have a small set of flowers where that little girl was killed in the limo..
They also have a huge shrine on the SS where that couple was killed recently. In addition to flowers, they have their pictures nailed into a piece of wood coming from the ground...
I mean I guess it is their way of grieving and remembering the spot where they lost their life but still- its eerie... edited for spelling
Message edited 8/1/2005 10:30:10 AM.
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:17 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by kdelace
I mean I guess it is their way of grieving and remembering the sopt where they lost their life but still- its eerie...
yea that is what i figured but i just dont' see the apeal in going to the place that a loved one lost their life like that...
I mean if someone was to die at home....DO they buy a load of flowers and place it in the spot? Or anywhere else for that matter...It is usually for the accidents that people go and get these flowers ...
But i guess i see a point...I too find it eeire
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:20 AM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Flowers by accidents
i know..i get that eerie feeling when i see a spot covered in flowers!! and the pictures!! just too sad !!  
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:21 AM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Flowers by accidents
It's a little upsetting to drive by and see, but some people believe that the soul leaves the body immediately upon death - they choose to memorialize the person/soul with flowers or objects that the person loved.
5 years ago, just 5 days after FH's graduation, 3 of his good friends were in a terrible car accident and one was killed. The boy's family has since moved away, but his friends continue to place wreaths at Christmas, sometimes a hat from the college he was going to attend, etc. It brings some comfort, I guess.
I always get teary eyed when FH tells me he's going to "clean up Jeff's spot".
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:21 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by Shorty
It's a little upsetting to drive by and see, but some people believe that the soul leaves the body immediately upon death - they choose to memorialize the person/soul with flowers or objects that the person loved.
true....
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:22 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
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Re: Flowers by accidents
OMG - DH and I were just discussing this yesterday.
They never really seemed to bother me until a couple of weeks ago. There is a memorial around the corner from me (on Middle Country Road). I am not sure if you remember I posted that there was a motorcycle accident. Well, not that I don't understand what they are going through - I unfortunately have had tragedy happen in my life, but this memorial has about half of the flowers that were at the funeral parlor, candles, stuffed animals, candles, etc. There are also BIG posters of pictures of the kid that died there. There is even a poster written by a family member (it was blown up on a big sign).
Now, every time I pass this I have to be reminded that he died there. Yes, I feel bad about it - but it wasn't like someone killed him, he was being stupid and riding his crotch rocket like he shouldn't have been.
Now if it is going to stop one other person from being stupid about riding their motorcycle, I am for a memorial, but a smaller one. Do you know what I mean? Or do I just sound mean?
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:27 AM |
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Jenn1621
<3
Member since 5/05 1728 total posts
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Re: Flowers by accidents
I know what you mean! Especially since it was my friend that killed him! He said everytime he passes he relives what happened to the kid. I keep telling him it wasnt his fault, if it wasnt him it would have been someone else who hit him but that doesnt change the fact that it was him that did it he says.
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:30 AM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by civic24ex
I know what you mean! Especially since it was my friend that killed him! He said everytime he passes he relives what happened to the kid. I keep telling him it wasnt his fault, if it wasnt him it would have been someone else who hit him but that doesnt change the fact that it was him that did it he says.
 
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:31 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by Marcie
OMG - DH and I were just discussing this yesterday.
They never really seemed to bother me until a couple of weeks ago. There is a memorial around the corner from me (on Middle Country Road). I am not sure if you remember I posted that there was a motorcycle accident. Well, not that I don't understand what they are going through - I unfortunately have had tragedy happen in my life, but this memorial has about half of the flowers that were at the funeral parlor, candles, stuffed animals, candles, etc. There are also BIG posters of pictures of the kid that died there. There is even a poster written by a family member (it was blown up on a big sign).
Now, every time I pass this I have to be reminded that he died there. Yes, I feel bad about it - but it wasn't like someone killed him, he was being stupid and riding his crotch rocket like he shouldn't have been.
Now if it is going to stop one other person from being stupid about riding their motorcycle, I am for a memorial, but a smaller one. Do you know what I mean? Or do I just sound mean?
i understand...but i just do not think that it stops anything...
Even if it is from a drunk driving accident.
I just do not get why people want to memorialize a tree like that. I myself find it morbid and sad.
I do not see a point in putting flowers on a poll to memorialize where someone actuall died...but rather place them where they can celebrate the wonderful life lived? But that is just me
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:33 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Oh how sad
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:33 AM |
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bellarina
She's my dancing queen!
Member since 5/05 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Flowers by accidents
For me I would rather have the memorial of a loved one in a more private place like where they are burried. A friend of mine lost her son 3 years ago in a motorcycyle accident and she has a special garden at her house to memorialize him. I feel these things are private and special between the loved ones- not for the whole world to see. It's way to creepy to see at the side of a road.
JMO
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:33 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by civic24ex
I know what you mean! Especially since it was my friend that killed him! He said everytime he passes he relives what happened to the kid. I keep telling him it wasnt his fault, if it wasnt him it would have been someone else who hit him but that doesnt change the fact that it was him that did it he says.
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:33 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by kelly4
For me I would rather have the memorial of a loved one in a more private place like where they are burried. A friend of mine lost her son 3 years ago in a motorcycyle accident and she has a special garden at her house to memorialize him. I feel these things are private and special between the loved ones- not for the whole world to see. It's way to creepy to see at the side of a road.
JMO
EXACTLY!
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:34 AM |
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Jenn1621
<3
Member since 5/05 1728 total posts
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Thanks for the hugs guys!!
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:36 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
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LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Jenn - I think of your friend everytime I pass that memorial. I don't know him or the kid that died there - but I feel for your friend. Why does he have to be reminded everytime he passed it, its not fair to him.
I do think memorial should be in more private spots - like a garden, or even like someone posted, if it is in the spot where someone was killed, only put one or two things there.
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:39 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Flowers by accidents
I think it's also done as a reminder to drive more carefully. Like saying "HEY, someone DIED here, so please be careful"
and also to memorialize the loss of life that occured on that spot.
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:43 AM |
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Jenn1621
<3
Member since 5/05 1728 total posts
Name:
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by Marcie
Jenn - I think of your friend everytime I pass that memorial. I don't know him or the kid that died there - but I feel for your friend. Why does he have to be reminded everytime he passed it, its not fair to him.
I do think memorial should be in more private spots - like a garden, or even like someone posted, if it is in the spot where someone was killed, only put one or two things there.
I agree! Beleive it or not he is actually very close to the family now. He went to the wake and funeral and all and stops by to visit the family. He thinks they put it up as a reminder if you do stupid things there are consequences and to not forget, but for me...I would just do something private for me to see.
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:44 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Flowers by accidents
If it makes them feel better it doesn't bother me at all. Everyone greives and memorializes in their own way.
And I also agree with Sue - every time I see flowers or a memorial, it makes me drive a little more carefully or reminds me to take my time.
Even if it just makes one person do that, it could make a difference. 
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:56 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Flowers by accidents
What's the difference between these types of memorials and others?
I think the loss of a loved one is equal- whether in a horrible accident or something bigger...
Like when people put roses in the water for Flight 800 victims, or the memorials at Pearl Harbor or WTC... It doesn't memorialize the act- it memorializes the people that died...
I see these memorials as having the same theory behind them- whether on a small scale (flowers done by the family) or large scale (done by the government).
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| Posted 8/1/05 10:59 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by Sassyz75
What's the difference between these types of memorials and others?
I think the loss of a loved one is equal- whether in a horrible accident or something bigger...
Like when people put roses in the water for Flight 800 victims, or the memorials at Pearl Harbor or WTC... It doesn't memorialize the act- it memorializes the people that died...
I see these memorials as having the same theory behind them- whether on a small scale (flowers done by the family) or large scale (done by the government).
WHY do people memorialize the exact place where someone died?
You do not see someone bringing flowers to the home to place in a bed after someone dies there?
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| Posted 8/1/05 11:01 AM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: Flowers by accidents
As most of you know, DH's uncle was murdered in Jan. There used to be a memorial for him on the tree where he was shot but the people in the neighborhood took it down because they did not want people from all over LI coming to see the spot where he was killed. I don't blame them for that but it upsets DH everytime we pass that spot and there is no sign of what took place there. It was a horrible thing but that memorial was some sort of "special space" for the whole family and we can't even have that.
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| Posted 8/1/05 11:01 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by nylisa
As most of you know, DH's uncle was murdered in Jan. There used to be a memorial for him on the tree where he was shot but the people in the neighborhood took it down because they did not want people from all over LI coming to see the spot where he was killed. I don't blame them for that but it upsets DH everytime we pass that spot and there is no sign of what took place there. It was a horrible thing but that memorial was some sort of "special space" for the whole family and we can't even have that.
don't you have a grave for that kinda thing?
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| Posted 8/1/05 11:02 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Flowers by accidents
I have even seen people put
RIP _____ taped to the back of their car?
I know it is to make the grieving feel better....but does it really? IMO it would just make me relive what happened and feel sad everytime i see it?
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| Posted 8/1/05 11:04 AM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: Flowers by accidents
Posted by Redhead
Posted by nylisa
As most of you know, DH's uncle was murdered in Jan. There used to be a memorial for him on the tree where he was shot but the people in the neighborhood took it down because they did not want people from all over LI coming to see the spot where he was killed. I don't blame them for that but it upsets DH everytime we pass that spot and there is no sign of what took place there. It was a horrible thing but that memorial was some sort of "special space" for the whole family and we can't even have that.
don't you have a grave for that kinda thing?
Yes they have a grave for that but that spot is where he took his last step and to DH that is important. That is the spot where his wife and children found his car so to them it was the last spot they saw him at.
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| Posted 8/1/05 11:05 AM |
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