For the new moms who wonder if they can spoil a newborn

I just got this from BabyCenter and figured I would post it for all new moms!

Should I worry about spoiling my baby?
If I lavish love and attention on my baby, will I spoil him?


Expert Answers
Sandy Bailey, certified family life educator
No. Young babies are completely spoil-proof. Your baby needs all the care and attention you can give. Ignore the advice of well-meaning relatives who think babies need to learn independence. Instead, listen to your parental instinct — that inner voice that tells you to comfort your baby when he cries.

"Spoiled children" have learned to use negative behavior to get what they want. But your baby is too young to purposefully manipulate or annoy you. He cries to communicate his needs, whether they're for a snack, a dry diaper, or a little cuddling with Mom or Dad. When you respond quickly to your baby, you're building his sense of self-worth. You're also establishing a foundation of trust that can last for years to come.

If you give your baby prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and less anxious, giving him the courage to explore the world on his own. And once he understands that you take his cries seriously, he'll be less likely to cry for no reason. In the long run, responding quickly to your baby's needs will make him less clingy and demanding, not more.

By the time your baby is 6 to 8 months old, he'll be paying close attention to cause and effect — noticing, for instance, that his bowl falls when he drops it from the highchair. He'll also start to see a direct link between his actions and your responses. At this point it's okay to set some limits. If your baby starts crying to get something he doesn't need, hold your ground and give him a hug when he calms down. Similarly, give hugs and praise for good behavior and gently redirect him when he's doing something hazardous.

The right blend of love and guidance will eventually help your child understand his place in the world. But for now, your focus should be on giving him as much attention and comfort as you can. No matter how much you give, it's not more than he needs.

Re: For the new moms who wonder if they can spoil a newborn

When you respond quickly to your baby, you're building his sense of self-worth. You're also establishing a foundation of trust that can last for years to come.

If you give your baby prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and less anxious, giving him the courage to explore the world on his own. And once he understands that you take his cries seriously, he'll be less likely to cry for no reason. In the long run, responding quickly to your baby's needs will make him less clingy and demanding, not more.
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It's funny because I learned this from my *mom*, she used to catch he LL from one or two nosy old neighbors when we were babies for "spoiling" us or picking us up "too much". She was young, a new mom with 3 under 2.5yo, had no family here to help her, yet stood her ground and trusted her instincts!!! We all turned out OK. Well, great, really, depending on who you ask So thanks Mom!!!

Re: For the new moms who wonder if they can spoil a newborn

I used to think you couldnt spoil a newborn but I dont know anymore...I think I started a habit by holding Derek alot and now when it is supposed to be getting easier, it is getting harder. He isn't letting me put him down much at all

I do pick him up fairly quickly though when he starts crying but unfortunately if I put him down and he starts crying I sometimes have to let him fuss for a minute or two so I can make Tyler lunch, help Tyler with something and I dont know...maybe get to go to the bathroom