For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

When did your family start planning it?? Did you help with the planning process?
Also, how many weeks were you/will you be for your shower.

I am 20 weeks tomorrow. I have mentioned to my mom a few times that we plan on registering asd soon as we find out the sex, but she hasnt mentioned anything to me about a shower. She brought it up when I first told her about the pregnancy but hasnt said a word since. I told her when I first found out that I might want to know about the shower this time around (for my wedding it was a surprise). But still...she hasn't brought it up and I DO feel kind of funny mentioning it again. I also am SUPER nervous that she will wait till the last minutes and won't involve my MIL and just pick a date based on what is convenient for her and my sisters, which I don't think is fair b/c my MIL has no daughters and I am sure she would like to be a part of it and would probably even help out with it.

I know i shouldnt be worrying about this, and I feel selfish for even thinking about it and especailly selfish about bringing it up to my mom or sisters...but should I mention something again to my mom? Also, for those who knew about their shower, how involved in the planning were you? I dont necessarily want to be involved in the planning but I would like to help decide a date and possibly have an opinion on the location.

just looking for feedback/advice. TIA.

Message edited 1/17/2010 12:20:42 PM.

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

Can you or DH speak to your MIL to see if anything has been mentioned to her by your Mom? If not, it's a reason that she could call and maybe help get the ball rolling.

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

could you fib a little and tell your mom that your MIL asked if your family was planning a shower? Do you think its possible your MIL would be planning one without telling you? That might be a nightmare scenario where each are planning something without telling the other...

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

I'm kind of in the same situation. My mom mentioned at the beginning that she wants to do my shower. Great, no problem. The thing is that we both feel that my MIL should be involved, but MIL has never mentioned anything about helping. I told my mom that she should really reach out to my MIL to let her know she's planning it and to ask her if she wants to be involved in any way. My mom feels uncomfortable "asking for help". I tried to explain that it's really more her extending the courtesy to my MIL. So we'll see.

Honestly, I wouldn't feel bad bringing it up with your mom at all. She's your mom. I would maybe say something like "hey mom, you know a couple of people have mentioned to me that you should have the shower place booked a month or two before the shower date. I'd like to see the options if you don't mind; when do you want to go? Also, don't forget to please call my MIL to ask her to be involved. DH mentioned that she would like to help with the shower, so I know she'll be really happy to hear from you about it"...

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

If you don't want to bring it up directly, you can do so nonchalantly...
After you register, you can give her the registry cards and see how she reacts. Maybe she is trying to surprise you. Or you can say not sure if you put any more thought into a possible baby shower, but I made a list and am willing to help, if you want.

I wanted all control of my shower, b/c I always ruin surprises. I figured since the gender is a surprise, then my shower doesn't have to be. I researched places, negotiated, and booked it. I made my own invites too! My mom passed away years ago, so it's a lot easier to do this without making anyone feel bad. My sister didn't mind at all b/c she went crazy to make my bridal shower a surprise and I still knew!!

HTH!

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

i didnt have to bring it back up...so im not help there.

but as far as dates go...i did tell my family when i was available. i have a very packed/busy schedule and theyre not exactly aware of my dates...so i told them when i was free.

as far as planning...mil is a hosting one b/c my family did the bridal shower...but she's a bit slow to get things going. its now mid jan and this shower is end of feb...i know she hasnt planned much b/c i just established the date this weekend with them. but im not getting involved.

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

when i found out i was pg my mom mentioned it but now, she hasnt said anything, I keep asking my sister and she keeps telling nothing. I know my mom is going through alot right now, my sister is going through a seperation with her husband and my mom is occupied with my sister and neice. I just dont want my mom to do what she always does, she books it the saturday of easter. My bridal shower was saturfay before easter and my sisters baby shower was then too, and also my sil baby was then too. My mom likes to wait to the last mins and if that is the case then i will be like 38 weeks preggo. I would hope not!!!

I dont know what to do. I want to be suprised cause i wasnt at my bridal shower and i wanna be at this one but i just wanna make sure it isnt to late to have one.

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

I am also due June 7th and my shower is April 25th. If your sister is planning the following weekend, I think thats fine

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

I helped plan it.

Can you have your MIL or DH mention it to your mom?

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

I am in the midst of helping my mom, MIL and sisters plan mine! I gave them some dates and places I had in mind, the rest is up to them!

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

I had to be involved from the beginning since we would be coming from out of state. We also had the date already picked as it was when we would be on Fall Break from teaching. I was pretty involved the whole time, making sure that both my mom and MIL were involved together, with each having their own special part of the shower.

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

I know about mine. My mom ran the date by me and that is it. I know where it is b/c they're having it at one of my favorite places. My mom and sisters are planning it - MIL is just kicking in a little $ I think.
My mom and sisters would KILL me if I tried to be in on the planning.

Re: For those who knew/know about their shower, or anyone with thoughts

My mom and I were actually on really bad terms when I was preggo with DS. My parents wanted to pay for the shower, but I knew I couldn't count on my mom to do anything else. I wound up ordering/addressing/mailing the invites, buying the favors, baking cookies and decorating the restaurant as well as payed for everything I just mentioned.