For women who have successfully breastfeed

DH and I went to a BF class on Friday night and I think I feel more overwhelmed now than I did going into the class. The woman made it seem like the baby is never going to use a bottle in his life. She pretty much said the only help DH can provide is calming down the baby while I get ready. Really?! That's it? I knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park but this is just crazy. Would I be a terrible mother if I pumped and fed the baby through a bottle so that way DH can help more? I told him that I feel like I am going to resent him because he isn't really going to be helping me (according to this lady). I really do want to give BF a chance but now that class has me worried I'm going to fail.

Re: For women who have successfully breastfeed

I breastfed DD for over a year, I'm also a SAHM so what works for me probably would not have worked for a mom that works full time or even part time. I did pump alot in the beginning, we had several events that I had to go to when DD was small so it was really important to me that she have more than enough milk while we were out. It's hard to really know how much milk they are taking so I always over estimated the amount I left my mom or husband with. All that said around 3 months our social schedule without DD slowed down so I stopped pumping, hurricane Irene hit and I lost my freezer stash too. I hated hated hated pumping. It's double the work than breastfeeding because you have to clean all the parts and the bottles after. Looking back I'm not sure this was a good idea because around 6 months I left DD overnight with my mom with a few bottles. She wouldn't take it and screamed and screamed until I came to get her. She never took a bottle again.

As for my husband helping, honestly, he helps and bonds with her in so many other ways that it wasn't a big deal. When he's around he would feed her solids, give her baths, take her for walks, play, etc. She's a total daddy's girl so the feeding part just wasn't a big deal. Breastfeeding was REALLY REALLY important to me and to my DH, so it was just normal for me. I never resented the fact that he couldn't feed her and because I was at home with her during the day waking up at night wasn't the hugest deals.

I'm not sure if this helps because I think everyone has different lifestyles, but this worked for us and I plan on doing the same for baby number 2 in a few weeks. Not sure if I'll push the bottle more this time around, I am going to buy a small manual pump this time and hope I like that better than the electrical double pump I had.

Breastfeeding is hard (or it was for me) for the first 3 weeks. I really had to work at it and I had to push through some pain, but it was important to me and in time it got so much easier! I never took a class, but I do wish someone would have told me that it's not as natural feeling right away than people have you believe.

For women who have successfully breastfeed

Former BFer here - I pumped in the beginning one bottle a day and loved that other people could help with the feedings. It also gave me a few minutes of alone time to think and rest while I pumped. My only advice is to be consistent - my dd did awesome with the bottle from about a week until 6 weeks - then I got lazy with pumping and when I tried to reintroduce the bottle around 4 months she refused. I literally bought every brand bottle and tried every technique offered to me and I could not get her to take a bottle. I EBFd her for 11 months an then transitioned to a sippy cup. BF was a great achievement but you NEED to also use the bottle for your own independence and sanity.

Good luck!

Re: For women who have successfully breastfeed

Don't psych yourself out!!

I BF my DS for 12+ months. I pumped a lot in the beginning due to latch issues, but even then, I was the one who always fed him. Your husband will be able to help you with everything else... changing diapers, calming baby, bathing baby, etc. Feeding can be your 'thing'. It is the most amazing experience and it is SO SO rewarding... it will be your special bonding time. I won't lie, BF is difficult in the beginning. It's painful and it's stressful, but it gets easier with every feeding. By the time your LO is a couple of weeks old, it will be like second nature. Use all of the resources that you can to help you out. Every hospital has a lactation specialist and even the nurses are great with getting you going. Good Luck!

For women who have successfully breastfeed

Crashing here. Don't let these thoughts scare you! IMO, one of the most important things early on is the determination to succeed. DH can help in so many other ways, ie - EVERYTHING else! DH did ALL the diaper changes, got DD dressed, calmed her, rocked and walked her, got me food, cleaned, etc. I literally nursed and not much else the first 2 weeks. DC will need to eat frequently both for themselves and to get your supply going. The beginning is tough but once you get through that it gets so much easier. For me, the stress and time of pumping wasn't worth the extra time and effort but many find it a lifesaver.

For women who have successfully breastfeed

I bfed for 18 months and that's just not true. I'm a FTWM so obviously I had to pump for DD to have milk when I was at work. Don't be scared. Take each day as it comes and feel proud of each day you get through while bfing.

Re: For women who have successfully breastfeed

First I would like to say good for you for wanting to take on the wonderul job nursing.

I didn't take a class so this is just my experience. I did't start pumping until DD was 2 weeks old. I did so that I could build up a nice supply and to have DH and other family members feed her. At first it seemed like a good idea to have the bottles on hand so that DH could help but for me it was such a pain to get his ass out of bed in the middle of the night(not that he's lazy. very deep sleeper) and for the time it would take to heat the bottle up I felt it was much easier for me to just nurse her. I thought I was going to hate DH because I was doing all the feedings but I didn't. The joy and feeling I experienced at each feeding made it all worth it.

DD was introduced to a bottle at 3 weeks. DH wanted to feed her so bad and so did my il's. I started her on it that early because she was going to start daycare at 3months and I wanted to make sure she had no problems with it. We were lucky that she took to a regular medela bottle with no problem. I EBF her. Even if we are at someones house I EBF. The only time I give her a bottle is when we are out in public.

Now that I'm back at work full time. I miss nursing her like I did when I was on leave. I really do look foward to my weekends with her.

Oh. I do pump at work twice a day. And 3 times at home M-F. I can honestly say it has NOT taken a toll on me. I love the fact that my baby is growing because of the milk that I'm able to make.

Good luck

Re: For women who have successfully breastfeed

Posted by LadyBug1209

Don't psych yourself out!!

I BF my DS for 12+ months. I pumped a lot in the beginning due to latch issues, but even then, I was the one who always fed him. Your husband will be able to help you with everything else... changing diapers, calming baby, bathing baby, etc. Feeding can be your 'thing'. It is the most amazing experience and it is SO SO rewarding... it will be your special bonding time. I won't lie, BF is difficult in the beginning. It's painful and it's stressful, but it gets easier with every feeding. By the time your LO is a couple of weeks old, it will be like second nature. Use all of the resources that you can to help you out. Every hospital has a lactation specialist and even the nurses are great with getting you going. Good Luck!

Re: For women who have successfully breastfeed

Don’t psych yourself out until you try. There’s no doubt it was harder than I anticipated, but ironically not in the ways that you’re describing. First, there are about a million other things your husband can help you with – trust me! And, it’s wonderful just sitting and nursing. He can go to the store, cook food, clean, etc., etc. You can read a book and just sit with the baby – breastfeeding stimulates hormones that relax you, so it really is wonderful (not to mention the calories you burn!!). I started pumping at 6-weeks, which is what I would recommend (I went back to work when my son was around 5 months). I hated pumping! I had issues with my son taking a bottle, but we survived. He never took a bottle, but he did take sippy cups (messy but hey, it worked). I would recommend at least trying to go at it 100% and then taking it one day at a time. It’s harder to go from bottles back to breast than it is to go from breast to bottles. Unless you have lots of things planned after the baby comes, you might as well relax and enjoy! Everyone will want to hold the baby and take care of the baby; it’s very special to be the only one to feed the baby.

For women who have successfully breastfeed

I breast fed two babies. You have to see what feels right to you, and it may be different than what you eexpect. Th ere were plenty of ways for dh to help out. I became a little posessive over feeding baby. I didn't want anyone else feeding the baby because that was my special time and bonding experience. When went back to work that had to change during the day, but when I would come home, I couldn't wait to nurse her. I also really hate pumping so any pumped milk was to be saved for when I was at work. My friend who is a sahm used to pump enough for a bottle or two at night so her dh could feed baby. If you get overwhelmed, you will figureout a method that works for you.