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Mara1017
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 696 total posts
Name: Mara
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Posted by NervousNell
It was just the "If you MUST formula feed" comment that rubbed me the wrong way. This society is so pro breastfeeding and anti formula that I can see how someone would feel badly about their choice to formula feed. They act as if you are poisoning your child if you dare give them formula A comment like that on a thread where a mom struggled with BFing and is considering an easier route for herself and her baby this time around just rubbed me the wrong way. "If you MUST." How about, if you WANT to formula feed it is 100% fine.
I completely agree. The "if you must formula feed" is very condescending...and I'm not overly sensitive bc I actually did nurse dd2 until 19 months.
I completely agree that the comment is condescending. I tried breastfeeding with both of my children but I didn't have enough supply either time. I tried everything but I at the end of the day all that matters is they are fed. There is no right or wrong way to feed your child. What works for one doesn't always work for another. My sons are smart, happy and amazing kids regardless of how they were fed.
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Posted 5/1/17 4:53 PM |
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Long Island Weddings
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name: ..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by Mara1017
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Posted by NervousNell
It was just the "If you MUST formula feed" comment that rubbed me the wrong way. This society is so pro breastfeeding and anti formula that I can see how someone would feel badly about their choice to formula feed. They act as if you are poisoning your child if you dare give them formula A comment like that on a thread where a mom struggled with BFing and is considering an easier route for herself and her baby this time around just rubbed me the wrong way. "If you MUST." How about, if you WANT to formula feed it is 100% fine.
I completely agree. The "if you must formula feed" is very condescending...and I'm not overly sensitive bc I actually did nurse dd2 until 19 months.
I completely agree that the comment is condescending. I tried breastfeeding with both of my children but I didn't have enough supply either time. I tried everything but I at the end of the day all that matters is they are fed. There is no right or wrong way to feed your child. What works for one doesn't always work for another. My sons are smart, happy and amazing kids regardless of how they were fed.
Yep. And I didn't even try. It wasn't even a blip on my radar. Never, ever had any desire to whatsoever. The thought of it alone made me have anxiety. I couldn't imagine at any point in my life wanting to do it And guess what? At the end of the day, it didn't even matter. Not one iota. Not one bit. There is nothing she missed out on whether it be health, nutrition, hitting milestones, developmentally, immune system wise, etc. Nothing.
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Posted 5/1/17 4:58 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name: Allison
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by Mara1017
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Posted by NervousNell
It was just the "If you MUST formula feed" comment that rubbed me the wrong way. This society is so pro breastfeeding and anti formula that I can see how someone would feel badly about their choice to formula feed. They act as if you are poisoning your child if you dare give them formula A comment like that on a thread where a mom struggled with BFing and is considering an easier route for herself and her baby this time around just rubbed me the wrong way. "If you MUST." How about, if you WANT to formula feed it is 100% fine.
I completely agree. The "if you must formula feed" is very condescending...and I'm not overly sensitive bc I actually did nurse dd2 until 19 months.
I completely agree that the comment is condescending. I tried breastfeeding with both of my children but I didn't have enough supply either time. I tried everything but I at the end of the day all that matters is they are fed. There is no right or wrong way to feed your child. What works for one doesn't always work for another. My sons are smart, happy and amazing kids regardless of how they were fed.
The comment was condescending. And I'm not shocked the poster said it.
My DS was formula fed and I chose it. BF crossed my mind for a hot second. And I agree with Nell, my DS is sick less often than all my friends kids who were BF - who knows if it has anything to do with how they were fed and really who the hell cares.
Sorry to the OP who just want formula info so she is prepared for whatever she chooses!
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Posted 5/1/17 5:09 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by NervousNell
The nutritional value has to be the same. I now have a 6 year old who us the healthiest child I know ...who was exclusively fed generic formula. Healthier even than many of her breastfed relatives and friends! And I didn't have to formula feed. It wasn't a "MUST" situation. I wanted to. Go figure. Some people have no desire to breastfeed. Amazing.
Lol at ur sarcastic remark, no need for it though (I was coming from a friendly place) but thanks for the giggles. U initially didn't say u were referring to the nutritional value, so yes, that part has to meet the same exact standards. In regards to their sources for macronutrients, they vary. For some ppl that's relevant, for others it's not.
It was just the "If you MUST formula feed" comment that rubbed me the wrong way. This society is so pro breastfeeding and anti formula that I can see how someone would feel badly about their choice to formula feed. They act as if you are poisoning your child if you dare give them formula A comment like that on a thread where a mom struggled with BFing and is considering an easier route for herself and her baby this time around just rubbed me the wrong way. "If you MUST." How about, if you WANT to formula feed it is 100% fine.
I gotta say, it actually surprised me reading ur sarcastic comment towards me because I didn't get that sense from u...through ur posts and brief/few interactions we've had in this forum, so I was actually taken back.
From someone who have tried formula and bfeeding...trust me when I tell u this is so not a pro bfeeding society, yes there have been big movements to 'normalize' bfeeding but they haven't caused the type of effect that would change a society's mentality as whole regarding the way we feed our kids.
I do understand though that sometimes there are ppl that tend to put moms down whether conscious or unconsciously for choosing formula feeding and I do not condone that, at all. I do feel though that sharing personal experiences can only do good as long as it's done in a respectful way and also being mindful of boundaries. I can def tell u that when I was struggling to bfeed ds1, I found those comments much more helpful than the "why are u making ur life hard, just feed him formula" ones. When I used the word "must" I never intended to make the op feel bad or guilty, at all! I used that word in the context of her opting for formula with the purpose of saving money (nothing wrong with that) because as far as the reason being a 'want' and not a 'need' it's not stated (nothing wrong with that either).
And for the "it's very condescending" comment, I've noticed how certain ppl take every opportunity to so I'm not even gonna entertain it.
I didn't take this as condescending if it's any consolation. I interpreted it exactly as you explained. That's the problem though with typing, no tone. And agree, in my circle breastfeeding actually isn't the norm and I put up with a lot of crap from people for choosing to bf. I can't even tell you how many times I was criticised for bfing or asked why not just give him formula?? At the end of the day, you can't win, no matter how you choose to feed your kid someone will always have a comment. I say screw them. A fed baby is a happy baby and that's all that matters. Do what's best for you, that is what's best for your baby and middle finger to anyone who has a problem. Plenty of FF kids graduated harvard, plenty of BF babies turn into criminals. Such a non issue!!!!!!
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Posted 5/1/17 5:21 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by bunnyluck
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by NervousNell
The nutritional value has to be the same. I now have a 6 year old who us the healthiest child I know ...who was exclusively fed generic formula. Healthier even than many of her breastfed relatives and friends! And I didn't have to formula feed. It wasn't a "MUST" situation. I wanted to. Go figure. Some people have no desire to breastfeed. Amazing.
Lol at ur sarcastic remark, no need for it though (I was coming from a friendly place) but thanks for the giggles. U initially didn't say u were referring to the nutritional value, so yes, that part has to meet the same exact standards. In regards to their sources for macronutrients, they vary. For some ppl that's relevant, for others it's not.
It was just the "If you MUST formula feed" comment that rubbed me the wrong way. This society is so pro breastfeeding and anti formula that I can see how someone would feel badly about their choice to formula feed. They act as if you are poisoning your child if you dare give them formula A comment like that on a thread where a mom struggled with BFing and is considering an easier route for herself and her baby this time around just rubbed me the wrong way. "If you MUST." How about, if you WANT to formula feed it is 100% fine.
I gotta say, it actually surprised me reading ur sarcastic comment towards me because I didn't get that sense from u...through ur posts and brief/few interactions we've had in this forum, so I was actually taken back.
From someone who have tried formula and bfeeding...trust me when I tell u this is so not a pro bfeeding society, yes there have been big movements to 'normalize' bfeeding but they haven't caused the type of effect that would change a society's mentality as whole regarding the way we feed our kids.
I do understand though that sometimes there are ppl that tend to put moms down whether conscious or unconsciously for choosing formula feeding and I do not condone that, at all. I do feel though that sharing personal experiences can only do good as long as it's done in a respectful way and also being mindful of boundaries. I can def tell u that when I was struggling to bfeed ds1, I found those comments much more helpful than the "why are u making ur life hard, just feed him formula" ones. When I used the word "must" I never intended to make the op feel bad or guilty, at all! I used that word in the context of her opting for formula with the purpose of saving money (nothing wrong with that) because as far as the reason being a 'want' and not a 'need' it's not stated (nothing wrong with that either).
And for the "it's very condescending" comment, I've noticed how certain ppl take every opportunity to so I'm not even gonna entertain it.
I didn't take this as condescending if it's any consolation. I interpreted it exactly as you explained. That's the problem though with typing, no tone. And agree, in my circle breastfeeding actually isn't the norm and I put up with a lot of crap from people for choosing to bf. I can't even tell you how many times I was criticised for bfing or asked why not just give him formula?? At the end of the day, you can't win, no matter how you choose to feed your kid someone will always have a comment. I say screw them. A fed baby is a happy baby and that's all that matters. Do what's best for you, that is what's best for your baby and middle finger to anyone who has a problem. Plenty of FF kids graduated harvard, plenty of BF babies turn into criminals. Such a non issue!!!!!!
I'm glad u were able to perceive exactly what I meant to say . I hope that was the case for the OP as well.
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Posted 5/1/17 6:57 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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formula feeding #2
This FF mom says screw that noise and just hand over the bottle. I don't care whose condescending or shaming or whatever. I can't tell you how many articles I've read stating that the benefits of bf-ing are "grossly overstated." If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
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Posted 5/1/17 7:55 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name: Momma <3
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by LuckyStar
If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
Sorry but this statement was uncalled for.
I BF my child but would never force BFing on anyone as it is a very personal decision. Not everyone who BFs has a holier than thou attitude and to lump everyone together is ridiculous.
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Posted 5/2/17 6:15 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by LuckyStar
This FF mom says screw that noise and just hand over the bottle. I don't care whose condescending or shaming or whatever. I can't tell you how many articles I've read stating that the benefits of bf-ing are "grossly overstated." If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
Ok, next..
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Posted 5/2/17 8:10 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by LuckyStar
If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
Sorry but this statement was uncalled for.
I BF my child but would never force BFing on anyone as it is a very personal decision. Not everyone who BFs has a holier than thou attitude and to lump everyone together is ridiculous.
You're right, I shouldn't have lumped everyone together. But in my experience, I've met far more bf pushers than formula supporters and they tend to be very judgy. I had a woman at work ask me how I could feed my child "crap" in front of the entire office. She hasn't slept a night in 2 years and is never at work because her kids are always sick.
I feel like there are undertones of judgement from the majority of bf-ing moms. Maybe not you and maybe not other women on this board but IRL I've seen it a ton.
I'm sorry if I offended you with my post. This stuff just really grinds my gears
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Posted 5/2/17 9:00 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by LuckyStar
If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
Sorry but this statement was uncalled for.
I BF my child but would never force BFing on anyone as it is a very personal decision. Not everyone who BFs has a holier than thou attitude and to lump everyone together is ridiculous.
You're right, I shouldn't have lumped everyone together. But in my experience, I've met far more bf pushers than formula supporters and they tend to be very judgy. I had a woman at work ask me how I could feed my child "crap" in front of the entire office. She hasn't slept a night in 2 years and is never at work because her kids are always sick.
I feel like there are undertones of judgement from the majority of bf-ing moms. Maybe not you and maybe not other women on this board but IRL I've seen it a ton.
I'm sorry if I offended you with my post. This stuff just really grinds my gears
You really are the only one who's been judgemental in this thread imo. To make such horrible comments and then laugh it off is really offensive.
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Posted 5/2/17 9:11 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name: ..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by LuckyStar
If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
Sorry but this statement was uncalled for.
I BF my child but would never force BFing on anyone as it is a very personal decision. Not everyone who BFs has a holier than thou attitude and to lump everyone together is ridiculous.
You're right, I shouldn't have lumped everyone together. But in my experience, I've met far more bf pushers than formula supporters and they tend to be very judgy. I had a woman at work ask me how I could feed my child "crap" in front of the entire office. She hasn't slept a night in 2 years and is never at work because her kids are always sick.
I feel like there are undertones of judgement from the majority of bf-ing moms. Maybe not you and maybe not other women on this board but IRL I've seen it a ton.
I'm sorry if I offended you with my post. This stuff just really grinds my gears
And what started my gears grinding was the comment- "if you MUST formula feed...." That is a perfect example of what you are saying above. Just like your coworker (who by the way, I would have probably ended up fired or in HR because of what I would have said to her if she had the balls to say that to me about how I feed my child! I have a horrible temper and I know I'd have ended up in trouble somehow!) I don't think most women on this site are judgmental of not BFing, in fact I have found most of the discussions very civilized and neutral. But that comment is what rubbed me the wrong way.
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Posted 5/2/17 9:14 AM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
Posted by LuckyStar
This FF mom says screw that noise and just hand over the bottle. I don't care whose condescending or shaming or whatever. I can't tell you how many articles I've read stating that the benefits of bf-ing are "grossly overstated." If all these holier than thou bf-ing moms want to stay up all night with their kid chewing on their boob and lifting their shirt in public, have at it. They're no hero any more than I am.
I don't even wanna imagine the backlash I'd have gotten by some if I said something similiar to what u said! I'd have been skinned alive!
I think both sides receive some type of negative reaction at some point and I have received both! If someone asks a question and I think I can help, I'll surely do that. To me, doing so in a respectful way, is what really matters. I even remember appreciating whenever someone posted a funny anecdote, or an interesting article regarding bfeeding when I was having a hard time bfeeding the first time around. I never really had much info to rely on back then so whenever I found something, it really made a difference to me. This is the reason why I try to help whenever I see someone has a question, or post an interesting article I've seen online, especially because there seems to be very few in this forum, almost none. However some ppl seem to have a problem with this and have actually accused me of "shoving bfeeding down ppl's throats", or "posting nonstop", or being "very condescending". Which is really strange to me because I'm actually again pushing ur believes on others, and out of the thousand + posts I have made in this forum, I can literally count with one hand the posts I've made about bfeeding and with the other hand answers relating to bfeeding. But whenever I invite those ppl to actually show me the posts they're talking about, all I hear is crickets. Who knows, maybe this time someone can actually find something that shows me putting down others for not choosing to bfeed, or pushing it on others, or the multiple, nonstop posts they seem to have read.
This is tiring and exhausting, it does get to u dealing with ppl like that and it just brings negativity and unnecessary drama. I don't even participate on the drama threads but for some reason I keep getting sucked into this specific topic but not because of my own willingness. Maybe next time someone decides to , I'll copy and paste this post so I can cut it short, and not take the attention away from the OP. One thing is for sure, if I can help someone with a question, or if I think an article is worth sharing, I won't stop posting it in this forum because I know it can be beneficial to some with either a laugh, knowledge, or with an answer. Now let's focus on the positive things in life...
Message edited 5/3/2017 12:11:49 AM.
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Posted 5/3/17 12:01 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: formula feeding #2
I went straight to powder after I ran out of RTF with no issue
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Posted 5/3/17 12:37 AM |
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