frustrated first timer

DD is 5 weeks old today and boy oh boy she is a crank pot. I just feel like she isn't really ever happy. I'm trying all different things with her but most of the time she is just crying. I feel horrible. The doctor said she is perfectly healthy and just may have some colic. How do you deal? I work from home and am with her all day. DH is out of the house by 6am and isn't home until 7pm. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. Then at night we take turns and she is up every 3 hours. I feel horrible when I get upset...how do you stay calm day in and day out?? I was crying this morning and didn't want DH to go to work :(

Re: frustrated first timer

It will get better!! That's all I can say. I felt the same way. My son would wake up, open his eyes, shut them and start to cry. Like he never wanted to be awake!

Is there anyone to give you a break for an hour or two during the day? If you are having a very hard time, just put the baby down and go sit outside for a little while. Our doctor also told us to use ear plugs. We did.

Honestly, I feel for you so much, I feel like I could have just wrote what you wrote. FM me if you need to talk a little!

Re: frustrated first timer

Well I have to say that I and probably most moms on this chat are in the same boat as you. My DD is going to be 1 mth on Thursday and she has a little colic and gas, consipation and I feel like you name it she has it . Yes there are times I feel like I am losing it, But them if you read alot of posts and BabyCenter.com the hardest time is now between birth and 8,9 weeks old.

So youre not alone and sometimes I thank god that there is LIf so we can vent and see that its not peachy in everyones house either...

Hang in there you will make it through
the rough times and just think in a couple of weeks you will forget about the bad times.

I learned a couple of things being a mother of 2 that you do what you have to do to get though the day sane.
If this means the baby takes nap in the swing so be it, take it slow, breathe and try to enjoy your day.

Re: frustrated first timer

Well, maybe it will help you have some hope to hear from a mom of a 1 year old who went through this... my daughter was just about as fussy as they come, for a full 6 months. First, try to remember that many MANY babies are like this, and you are by no means alone. Second, most babies grow out of the cranky phase by about 3 months, when their digestive systems mature. Third, ALL babies have a particularly fussy part of the day, usually later in the day. Colic is usually defined by a baby who cries throughout the day, for many hours (as my daughter did). I'll tell you this, I almost lost my sanity during those days - it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. Things that helped were to talk to my friends, get as much help as possible from friends/family, taking time for yourself - i.e. a hot bath, a walk, take a jog, go get your haircut, etc., while hubby or a family member watches baby. Remember, too, your baby won't get hurt from crying and won't remember any of this, so if you've really reached your limit, I suggest you take a time out - put baby in the crib, or a bouncy seat, and go take a shower. Yes, she'll cry but it won't kill her and she won't remember, and just don't make it a practice all the time. But, I think it's most beneficial as opposed to losing your patience.

And above all else, what I found helped the MOST with my daughter, was to distract her. My daughter required constant stimulation - I now know, looking back, part of the reason why she was crying was gas, but also a big part of it was that she was BORED. I soon learned that her fussy periods were much worse on the days we stayed at home all day, so if you can, try taking a walk, go to the mall, move her to another part of the room, etc... it may help. And if she has gas, what helps is to keep her close to your body - invest in a good wrap or carrier and carry her around the house with you. The only thing that helped settle my daughter down during her worst moments was to strap her onto my chest and walk on my treadmill on the lowest setting, or dance around the living room. For some reason, being close to mommy and being jiggled around a little, helps calm them down.

Good luck, and remember, this is a phase... in a few months, you'll look back and be amazed at how strong you were to get through this!

Message edited 9/26/2006 8:44:12 AM.

Re: frustrated first timer

This may not apply to you, but our DD went from being the most pleasant baby to being cranky all the time at around that same time. Turns out what we thought was cranky was just plain hungry. She must of been having a growth spurt and we didn't know it. As soon as we started giving her more ounces she was fine. Not sure if that will help your situation, but you never know. Can't hurt to try.

Re: frustrated first timer

Message edited 2/8/2007 7:47:54 PM.

Re: frustrated first timer

As others have said it will get better! Just hang in there. The best thing for me was the baby bjorn. I would wear that with her for almost the whole day and go for walks and dance with her. I also found this cd called infant calm. She would almost always immediately calm with the vacuum track of this cd. She is now 8 months is a very happy baby!

Re: frustrated first timer

As a mom of twin girls--with reflux, gas issues..i was just like you i couldn't understand why anyone would want babies if this is what it was like. They cried all the time in the begining and i would have to take 5 minutes to myself. thank god i had a great support group..my mom! Do you have anyone that can come over and help you? Friends, family? My suggestion, would 1st see how much you are feeding your child..sometimes in the begining a baby doesn't tell you when they are full and they overeat which causes them to be extremely uncomfortable. Also try and space their feedings to 3-4 hours. You might have to change the formula to see what works and when the baby get to be 3-4 months i would definatly start on rice cereal..it really helped me and settled their stomach. As a mom you just need to try anything and everything to see what works...good luck and hang in their.

Re: frustrated first timer

Thank you all so much. I don't know what I would do with out these boards to turn to for advice. I do have a lot of help on the weekend, but during the week it's pretty much me and Parker. I'm glad that other people have experienced the same situation and i'm not alone. I appreciate all your advice and support. I'm doing my best to stay sane, but some days it's so hard.

Re: frustrated first timer

Oh God, it will get better. Many of us have been there. Not with this baby but my older son was a nightmare when he was a newborn. It was my first child which didnt make it any easier. People use to say "Hows Motherhood?" or "Do you love being a Mommy?" and I use to say Yes but be crying on the inside. He was a colic baby and colic babies can do that to you. Just know its not something you are doing "wrong" but some babies are more prone to it than others, and need to settle into life outside the womb. It will pass, Im sure that doesnt help right now but I promise it will. You will probably end up with a very happy baby later on and will be shocked that its the same baby.

Re: frustrated first timer

As other moms have said, we have all been through it. Some days feel as if you are going to go bonkers. But, it will pass. Before you know it, it will only be a memory. Hang in there!
Believe me, you are not alone.

Re: frustrated first timer

Just wanted to give you some

Re: frustrated first timer

Bryan had colic and reflux, at times I thought I was going to lose it completely. He would cry for hours on end. My dh couldnt help me because he has a job that is dangerouse and he really needs his sleep. Sometimes at literally 12 am to 3am I would walk with him OUTSIDE, bouncing him up and down and shhushing in his ear, that was the only way to calm him down, then he would pass out on my chest on the couch. Sometimes I would put him in the crib, go into another room and scream in a pillow- it was pathetic. But it did get better, we succumbed to him sleeping in our bed with us for a full year( which really wasnt terrible at all- I miss it at times) but he slept and that was the most important thing. He is 15 months now and he has moved over to his crib at about 13 months with no problems and he is the sweetest baby and a great sleeper. It will def. get better, I promise.

Re: frustrated first timer

I have a high need DD and I swear by a sling! She is happy and calm as soon as I wear her

Re: frustrated first timer

The first two months are very difficult. I used to call my mom all of the time crying "I just want him to be happy!" She said that it wasnt my job to make him happy, just keep him cared for and content. Now he is 3 1/2 months and he is happy all of the time, smiling, laughing and cooing all day. It will get better very soon.

Re: frustrated first timer

I feel for you too, I could have written that (and probably did if you do a search!)

I used to cry, beg dh to stay home, it was truly awful. People used to tell me it gets better and I wanted to punch them- but they were right. Hang in there!

Re: frustrated first timer

oh yes, we've been there! the first six weeks were extremely difficult! everytime DD was awake, she was crying! i BF and i find that putting her to the breast instantly calms her down, so i tried that often. we would go through the whole routine- swing, baby bjorn- walking, dancing, hopping, bouncy seat, laying on her stomach, side, back, mylicon, gripe water, music, no music, vacuum- we tried everything!!! often DD was awake from 7 pm until 3 am!!! it was awful.

but as everyone has said, it does get better!! now we only have a fussy night here & there- usually she's calm, alert and happy when she's awake. we're settling into a little bit of a routine in the evenings now at 8 weeks. good luck & hang in there- it will get better soon!