FTWM only with kids in daycare

I am having a hard time leaving my newborn at daycare. I was told to do some trials before igo back fulltime. That starts next week. I return the following week. I am having a hard time letting go of him. I dont know how to move past this and realize that this is what needs to be done. Any help/suggestions accepted. I am just really struggling with this, and never thought i would. TIA

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

It isn't easy. I was so anxious before leaving DD at daycare for the first time in September. I did one trial day, and kept myself busy with a friend. We went for breakfast and went shopping. After a few hours, I was so anxious, and couldn't wait to pick her up. I called every 2 hours or so while she was there, and the daycare owner text messaged me with pictures too. By the next week, when I really had to drop her, I was actually worried about getting to work on time, so I was able to leave without lingering. I had given them everything they needed for her the previous week. I called twice that day, and got lots of texts. Eventually, I was only calling once per day (as long as I got texts), and yesterday, I didn't call at all.

You will see that it gets easier each day, and if you're busy at work, like I am, the day flies by. I will not lie...I have my moments of extreme anxiety, because my DD doesn't eat well, so if I check in and she only had 3 oz to eat, I worry for the rest of the day. There are moments that I miss her so much that I want to cry and I resent being at work. Overall though, it has really gotten so much easier, and I know DD loves day care even at her young age. You and your DS will both be okay.

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

It was very hard for me as well and like you I never thought I would struggle with it. I never thought I would want to stay home. But 2 years later I still wish I could. All I can tell you is that you will get into a routine and make it work. And when you get home spend quality time and let the little things (like chores) slide a little.

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

I no longer work, but did work full time with two in daycare. DS 1 went in at 3 months. It was so tough. I hated every minute of it. It did ET easier though. I remember once when he was around 6 or 7 months I walked into the daycare the same time as his head teacher walked in and DS reached his arms out for her. It was that moment I really knew he was happy ans liked it there.
We moved to nj when he was 15 months old and I put him in a daycare where I knew the owners ans teachers b.c I once worked there and the kindergarten teacher there was my cousin. Then I really got to hear about his day and he was spoiled.
Honestly... B.c he has been in daycare since 3 months he knows so much. Sings, learns the alphabet, colors, etc. he has some developmental delays and if it wasn't for daycare I think it could've been worse. He loves to learn, dance make friends, etc.
Made it easier to put DS 2 in daycare when he was 6 months b.c DS 1 loved it and learned so much. I left my job in May, but I am grateful to daycare for teaching DS 1 so much. DS 2 is 14 months now and I think there's no way I'd give him as much as what daycare did for DS 1.
Yes, the long hours away stinks, but your doing the best thing for your family. Follow your gut, ask questions, call as much as possible, and ask to visit. Once you feel comfortable and you see your LO thriving you'll know that it may not be your first choice, but your LO is being cared for and loved since you can't.

FTWM only with kids in daycare

I put DS in daycare at 8 weeks and never questioned my decision. It was something I knew was going to happen way before we even planned on having kids. My job makes me a better mom for my son and I picked the best daycare I think I could. He is well cared for and at 9 months I believe he is doing the things he is because of daycare and being around kids.

FTWM only with kids in daycare

I put ds in at 8 weeks........ Id pack him up, sit there in the morning giving him his bottle there, then head off to work....... It made it easier for me cause I could chat with the teachers and didnt feel as bad leaving then.

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

Honestly, it is not easy. It just isn't. BUT it will get easier. Just take it one day at a time!

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

It is hard! It will get easier but it will always be hard to leave your LO!

FTWM only with kids in daycare

It's tough, but it does get a little easier. DD truly loves going to school. In the morning I will ask her if she's ready to go to school and she says "yeah!" and goes to the front door. She runs to her teachers. They truly love her. And she learns so much there. It's been so good for her. Knowing all of that makes it much easier.

FTWM only with kids in daycare

It is hard but, like pps said, it gets easier.

It's hard when you are leaving a newborn since they really don't show much emotion but, as they get older and you can see how happy they are - it's a weight off your shoulders.

This morning, I dropped off the boys and 6.5 month old DS' face totally lit up when he saw his teacher (he's her favorite student right now so he's totally spoiled).

FTWM only with kids in daycare

It is so hard in the beginning. I felt the same way and I had horrible guilt. DS started at 12 weeks and he's now almost 6 months and he LOVES it. It's so stimulating for him and he gets social interaction with other babies. I miss him terribly and I definitely still have moments of guilt but it's gotten much easier. Being a FTWM is constantly a juggling act and I always feel torn in a million directions. We're all just doing the best we can. Your baby will adjust (and so will you) and he will be fine. I can't say it will be easy in the beginning but it will get better.

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

I did the week thing. One week before I went back she went to daycare. I dropped her off and sorta hung around. I realized she was ok in someone’s arms because they had a bottle. The lady there was a DREAM. Older Hispanic lady with a heart of gold. She made me feel like she was one of my old relatives. That last week before work I made all my doctor appointments and scheduled a full week of busy. Bank, stores, Getting my train ticket, etc. I kept myself busy, trying on my old work clothes, ironing, etc.

Day One: I came back that first day about 3 times to check on her see her through the window. I only went in once. AJ was fine.

Second day I dropped her off closer to the real time I would and checked on her twice, but picked her up early.

Third day dropped her off on time, hovered. Visited only once. Picked her up closer to the real time.

Forth day, dropped her off on time and picked her up on time and called once.

By the 5th day we were on her routine.

I kept busy and honestly that first week FLEW by. I think it helped I could visit that first week and I pushed myself to ‘let go’. It helped that lady was so nice! I helped I could hover in the mornings and the pick ups to see how her day was. Yes, I called during the day that first week back at work. Staying busy at work was the same as staying busy at home. It was really nice to see all my coworkers. I spent that first day trying to get back into work while folks wanted to talk about AJ. I brought photos with me to show her off and I felt pride that I was tear-less. She was safe, sound and happy. It helped that I went back First week of December so shortly into it and as the ‘groove’ started I was out for Xmas holiday. I also took time for her doctor appointments so I saw her a lot.

She was in daycare from 7am to about 6pm daily, when hubby picked her up. I didn’t see her until closer to 7 or 8pm.

It really DOES get easier!

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

I didn't know how I was going to do it either. My DS is 3 now, he has been there since he was 14 weeks old and he loves his "school". His first class, the baby room, there is an older lady who is a sweetheart who babied him like he was her own. The next room, toddler room, his teacher told me she loved him so much he was like the son she never had lol...now he is in the 3 year old room and he is having a blast. I also did a trial run the week before I went back to work and I called once a day for about 2 days. After that it was fine. I've found that my DS is very socially interactive and he needs that constant stimulation and interaction, and I like going to work and having adult interaction. (Wish I could do part time but that's a different story). Don't worry it really will be fine.

Re: FTWM only with kids in daycare

I want to thank all you ladies for sharing yoru stories. I finalized registration and they all really walked me through it, and held my hand. Very nice, adn hopefully i will be ok. He slept through it. Thereis another baby his age, so it was nice. Hopefully i can make it through. thank you all for your words of encouragement. Ill let you all know how it goes. Thank you again..