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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Going back to work advice?
One of my closest friends is going back to work full-time in 2 weeks and asked me for some wisdom on how to balance work and motherhood. I had a few pearls of wisdom to offer, but I was curious what everyone here would say?
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Posted 12/3/08 7:24 AM  |
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josie919
Here we go!
Member since 2/08 1108 total posts
Name:
Josie
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Re: Going back to work advice?
I live OOS and while i'm home for the holidays, i'm working part time. I was really worried about leaving DD even though she is in great hands with family. DH said ' Going back to work is going to be a break for you, and even though you don't see it now, you'll feel it once you get there.' BOY WAS HE RIGHT!! It gives me some adult talk time and just a chance to breathe a bit. I hope she has a smooth transition back into the working world 
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| Posted 12/3/08 7:30 AM |
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karjules
Love my Jules :)
Member since 1/07 2056 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Posted by Bxgell2
One of my closest friends is going back to work full-time in 2 weeks and asked me for some wisdom on how to balance work and motherhood. I had a few pearls of wisdom to offer, but I was curious what everyone here would say?
Are you my friend??  I am going back FT in 2 weeks and need advice bad! I have been asking everyone I know for pearls of wisdom!
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| Posted 12/3/08 7:47 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Posted by karanthony
Posted by Bxgell2
One of my closest friends is going back to work full-time in 2 weeks and asked me for some wisdom on how to balance work and motherhood. I had a few pearls of wisdom to offer, but I was curious what everyone here would say?
Are you my friend?? I am going back FT in 2 weeks and need advice bad! I have been asking everyone I know for pearls of wisdom!
Well, here is what I told my friend:
Hmmm, well I'm not going to lie, those first few months back at work were hard, but then again, I was transitioning back into firm life, which, I hope for you, is a little different than what you'll be dealing with. The most important piece of advice I can give you is to be kind to yourself, and forgiving of yourself - the first 3 months are difficult while you find a routine that works for you and Steve, so please give yourselves a 3 month grace period!
When I went back, I found it was easier, just emotionally, if Gadi did the drop off with Alex - it's heartbreaking to leave your baby in the morning, so he would do it and I would have the excitement of picking her up at the end of the day. If you can, over the next couple of weeks, stop by daycare, and spend some time in the classroom with Zoey - it will help ease the transition for you and Zoey and will give you some peace of mind getting to know her caretakers a little better.
To make things easier, pack Zoey's stuff for daycare the night before - you'll be in no shape to get everything ready in the morning, while trying to get yourself ready! This includes packing for you, if that means you're going to bring lunch to work. Have everything ready the night before because the morning is just crazy trying to get ready while tending to a baby.
The hard part in the beginning for us was just getting the house tidy at the end of the day and making dinner - not so easy when you're both exhausted from a long day of work and have a baby to tend to. Everyone really just has to find what works for their particular dynamic, but for us, what worked was for Gadi to make dinner while I played with Alex, and at the same time, tidied up the house. That's our routine even to this day - Gadi has morning duty, so in the afternoon, when we get home, we play with Alex for an hour or two and then Gadi makes dinner while I get Alex to help me tidy up the house. It also helps a lot to start planning your meals for the week and buying in bulk, that way you don't have to waste time during the week running out to the market.
Ok, so the last thing I can think of is, during the first month or two, it was really difficult for me transitioning from spending 100% of my time with Alex, to only about 40%. I felt awful, so during those early days I spent a lot of time working from home, and going to visit her during my lunchbreak, or just taking the train home for lunch and spending 30 minutes with her and then running back to work. It helped me feel better about where she was too, because I started to get a strong rapport with her caretakers and became familiar with the other moms and babies in her class. So if you have the opportunity to take lunch breaks and visit Zoey, I'd definitely do it.
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| Posted 12/3/08 7:51 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Here is my advice, you can't have everything perfect so something has to give.
You have to find something that you give up or you compromise on to make things go smoothly. I'm not going to lie, for me its my house. My house is always a mess, its my give.
For others it might be something else, but thats my give.
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| Posted 12/3/08 7:55 AM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: Going back to work advice?
LEAVE WORK AT WORK
ETA: A messy house is a lived in house. So be it!
Message edited 12/3/2008 8:37:52 AM.
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| Posted 12/3/08 8:37 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Going back to work advice?
hmm, how to balance....
here are some things I do
Lay out my clothes and dd's clothes the night before
when she was an infant, I used to prepare her bottles the night before too
try to do nay food shopping during lunch so after work it could be all about dd
TRY to remember that it gets easier 
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| Posted 12/3/08 8:38 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Honestly, I just do whatever I possibly can to get us all out the door dressed. We don't even have to match
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| Posted 12/3/08 10:01 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Going back to work advice?
My pearls of wisdom - take 'em for what they're worth  :
1) find your own routine - whatever it may be - laying out clothes for yourself, and DC the night before - having your work stuff lined up by the door, etc.
2) tell your DH what you need - don't expect him to anticipate what he can do to help - communicate it
3) accept the help - honestly, it's a tough life being superwoman!
4) let the little things go - you absolutely have to
5) enjoy every second of the time shared with DC. when I get home, I don't take phone calls or wash dishes or anything. I take off my coat, go to the bathroom and then it's me & DS until I put him to bed - nothing else matters
6) try to appreciate the time at work and the time without DC - as much as you miss your child - time spent apart isn't always a bad thing
That's all I can think of - and I'm certainly no pro at this yet - but I think we all learn a little as we go
Good luck to her!
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| Posted 12/3/08 10:08 AM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Posted by SweetCaroline
My pearls of wisdom - take 'em for what they're worth :
1) find your own routine - whatever it may be - laying out clothes for yourself, and DC the night before - having your work stuff lined up by the door, etc.
2) tell your DH what you need - don't expect him to anticipate what he can do to help - communicate it
3) accept the help - honestly, it's a tough life being superwoman!
4) let the little things go - you absolutely have to
5) enjoy every second of the time shared with DC. when I get home, I don't take phone calls or wash dishes or anything. I take off my coat, go to the bathroom and then it's me & DS until I put him to bed - nothing else matters
6) try to appreciate the time at work and the time without DC - as much as you miss your child - time spent apart isn't always a bad thing
That's all I can think of - and I'm certainly no pro at this yet - but I think we all learn a little as we go
Good luck to her!
I agree with all of the above--esp about when you come home devoting time to DC. I used to clean/do dishes...now I just hang out with DS until he goes to bed and I do all teh chores after
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| Posted 12/3/08 10:49 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Posted by pmpkn087
Honestly, I just do whatever I possibly can to get us all out the door dressed. We don't even have to match
This is def. one way I go some mornings
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| Posted 12/3/08 2:14 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Posted by SweetCaroline
My pearls of wisdom - take 'em for what they're worth :
1) find your own routine - whatever it may be - laying out clothes for yourself, and DC the night before - having your work stuff lined up by the door, etc.
2) tell your DH what you need - don't expect him to anticipate what he can do to help - communicate it
3) accept the help - honestly, it's a tough life being superwoman!
4) let the little things go - you absolutely have to
5) enjoy every second of the time shared with DC. when I get home, I don't take phone calls or wash dishes or anything. I take off my coat, go to the bathroom and then it's me & DS until I put him to bed - nothing else matters
6) try to appreciate the time at work and the time without DC - as much as you miss your child - time spent apart isn't always a bad thing
That's all I can think of - and I'm certainly no pro at this yet - but I think we all learn a little as we go
Good luck to her!
These things have gotten me through!!!
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| Posted 12/3/08 2:26 PM |
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angelbear217
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 4313 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Going back to work advice?
For me the transition was very hard. I was home 8 months with DD. It took a while to get used to the fact that I would be at work and she would not be with me. What got me through was
1. being organized- As a procrastinator I always left things for the morning. Now I can't I have to make sure everything is done the night before just in case DD throws me a curve ball.
2. Ask for help- I felt like I had to be supermom and do everything. It was stressing me out. I had to ask DH do things so I didn't bear the burden myself.
3. Establish a routine, both in the morning and after work
I hope this helps
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| Posted 12/3/08 2:38 PM |
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MrsSteflily
I love chocolate
Member since 4/06 2047 total posts
Name:
Stef
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Same as the other girls -
Establish a routine. This is the key to helping with the stress. Find out what works for you.
Save errands for lunch time, not after work.
Cherish the time together. I make bath time our time. No DH, no kids, just me and DD. It may only be 20 minutes but I look forward to them each and every night.
Realize that while it does get easier, it is never easy. I've been back at work for 3 months now and there are still times I cry as I am driving away. It makes me realize how much I really love my baby girl.
That said, the smiles I get as I walk through the door after work make it worth it. DD drops everything she has in her hands, smiles a huge smile and reaches out for me. It melts my heart.
A huge to your friend.
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| Posted 12/3/08 2:51 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work advice?
Besides what everyone else has already said...
Never pick the baby up facing you if you are dressed for work. Face the baby AWAY from workclothes, unless you work in a place where spit-up on your clothes is acceptable.
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's not going to work like a charm 100% of the time, nor are the drop-offs going to be that difficult 100% of the time. Eventually that difficult percentage will get lower.
Say kiss & say good-bye to your baby. Don't sneak out the door. I think it makes them more upset. Later when they grasp that "See you later!", you won't have the clinging kid that doesn't want to let you go because you've disappeared on them.
Be matter-of-fact. Don't feel guilty. And if you do, never apologize to your child that you have to go to work. It's what you do. I've seen this over & over at daycare and what I think the children eventually get from it is "I can get Mommy to stay longer if I'm upset." They are smart little buggers & will use that to their advantage.
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| Posted 12/3/08 2:55 PM |
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