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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
If you don't like this letter, than ignore it. I see nothing wrong with the fact that the OP posted it. SOME moms may not have time or knowledge to do research and decide the best methods for themselves...SOME moms might only be taking advice from the older generation of women (our parents, grandparents, aunts) that were colder and stricter in their parenting methods. Maybe SOMEONE read this letter and had a second thought about sleep training an infant...so to the OP, I see nothing wrong with this letter.
If you did CIO and it worked for you, than you can read this letter with NO guilt and shrug it off.
If you tried CIO and it didnt work for you, than this letter is just a reminder that there are other ways that can get a baby to sleep, and you don't have to go against your instincts and force your child to cry endlessly.
I'm not a fan of CIO, but even I did it and had success. BUT, I did it with a 10 month old who understood better that I wasn't abandoning her.
It seems as if anytime someone posts something that goes against the accepted norm on these sites, or might actually cause someone to think and defend their stance on a 2 sided issue, everyone attacks. If you don't like something, state YOUR opinion or ignore it, but dont attack the OP for posting it. 
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Posted 11/3/13 12:30 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
I don't care if its your opinion and our entitled to it ,this is meant to offend and will cause a problem so why post it
I am so sick of judge mental parents who bash other moms and dads bc they don't do what they think is the best
I never knew how bad this was until I became a mom,some are just vicious
What is with these posts lately.
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| Posted 11/3/13 12:43 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Did Grill change her name or something?
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| Posted 11/3/13 12:48 PM |
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janedoe
3 GIRLS!!!!
Member since 8/09 3184 total posts
Name:
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
I proudly sleep trained both of my daughters!!!
If letting them learn how to sooth themselves to sleep did mental damage then they can complain about me to their therapists in the future 
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| Posted 11/3/13 1:00 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by MrsDamonSalv7319
If you don't like this letter, than ignore it. I see nothing wrong with the fact that the OP posted it. SOME moms may not have time or knowledge to do research and decide the best methods for themselves...SOME moms might only be taking advice from the older generation of women (our parents, grandparents, aunts) that were colder and stricter in their parenting methods. Maybe SOMEONE read this letter and had a second thought about sleep training an infant...so to the OP, I see nothing wrong with this letter.
If you did CIO and it worked for you, than you can read this letter with NO guilt and shrug it off.
If you tried CIO and it didnt work for you, than this letter is just a reminder that there are other ways that can get a baby to sleep, and you don't have to go against your instincts and force your child to cry endlessly.
I'm not a fan of CIO, but even I did it and had success. BUT, I did it with a 10 month old who understood better that I wasn't abandoning her.
It seems as if anytime someone posts something that goes against the accepted norm on these sites, or might actually cause someone to think and defend their stance on a 2 sided issue, everyone attacks. If you don't like something, state YOUR opinion or ignore it, but dont attack the OP for posting it.
Because this is no different than an article that claims formula fed babies are stupid, or that babies are neglected in daycare. It makes mothers feel guilty for doing NOTHING wrong. If you want to make a mother feel guilty, choose one who chooses to deny their child food, or who beats their child. It's just sad, once again, that mothers seem to be so self righteous. If I thought for one second this article was posted to educate mothers on CIO, I would take no issue. There is nothing educational about this. I didn't CIO, yet I still find this so sad. Unless someone asks me my opinion on sleep training, breast feeding, etc, I will keep my opinion to myself.
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| Posted 11/3/13 3:52 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
What was the point of this post? It's not research giving any facts as to why parents shouldn't do CIO - it's a letter to make parents feel guilty about a decision they may have made
We all need to do what is best for us and our children and if that's and CIO so be it! I did it with dd and it was the best thing I could have done...I probably would have lost my job because I wouldn't have been able to function on no sleep if I didn't do CIO. I'm pretty sure that would be more harmful to me, my family and dd then 3 nights of CIO
Message edited 11/3/2013 4:19:31 PM.
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| Posted 11/3/13 4:19 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Avuteli
Posted by lakadema
And the point of posting this letter was .....
The point is to spread awareness ... Here I found another interesting article ... Please stop bashing and stating my post is stupid! If you disagree thats ok ... We all can have our opinions about different things in life ! This is mine and I would like to share it....
"THE BLOG
Cry It Out: The Method That Kills Baby Brain Cells
Denene MillnerDec 22, 2011
I know. A dramatic headline. Made you look. But it's not fiction. It turns out that the "Cry It Out" method of baby sleep training, where you ignore that your kid is screaming, crying and turning 40 shades of purple so that she can break herself out of the habit of being spoiled and cuddled to sleep, does more harm -- way more -- than good.
In her recent piece for Psychology Today, Darcia Narvaez, an associate professor of psychology at Notre Dame, writes that when babies are stressed, their bodies release cortisol into their systems -- a toxic hormone that kills brain cells. Considering their brains are only 25 percent developed when they're born full-term and grow rapidly in their first year, killing off baby brain cells is a huge no bueno. Narvaez notes that studies out of Harvard, Yale, Baylor and other prestigious institutions show that said killing off of baby brain cells can lead to the higher probability of ADHD, poor academic performance and anti-social tendencies, and that human babies are hardwired for hands-on comfort and care.
"Babies are built to expect the equivalent of an 'external womb' after birth... being held constantly, breastfed on demand, needs met quickly," Narvaez writes. "These practices are known to facilitate good brain and body development. When babies display discomfort, it signals that a need is not getting met, a need of their rapidly growing systems."
Um, remember that scene from the True Hollywood Stories: Rick James episode on the Dave Chappelle Show -- the one where Rick James is grinding his feet into Eddie Murphy's couch? Yeah. *insert an image of Denene doing the Rick James foot stomp into the couch thing here* In your face, Nick Chiles! For the record, I argued and fussed and fought with my husband over "Feberizing" our Mari. The infant self-soothing technique, invented by Dr. Richard Ferber, requires parents to let their babies "cry it out" for a predetermined amount of time, in increasing intervals, before they comfort them -- and even then, comforting involves talking to and rubbing the babies; picking them up or cuddling them is forbidden.
Now, it's been 12 years since we tried this "cry it out" thing with Mari, but I promise you, I can still hear her screaming in her crib in the next room. My breasts would throb at her every whimper, and every second on the clock would feel like an eternity while I waited for my chance to go in and pat her on her stomach, rub her arm and cheek and tell her, "it's okay, baby--Daddy promises you won't die from crying."
But I was. It just didn't feel right to let my child scream and holler and thrash by her little self in the dark in her crib when I knew full well that a little rocking in her glider, maybe a song and a sweet nuzzle of her cheek would send her off to dreamland. Granted, some nights that meant multiple rocking/singing/nuzzle time, but, to me, it was a small price to pay for feeling like I was mothering my baby and helping her feel like her mommy was there. Always there.
Of course, plenty other parents think differently about it and that's their right. We all do what we think works for our kids, our families, our lives. Not gonna point fingers at y'all. But I will point them at the hubs. When I showed this Yahoo Shine story chronicling Narvaez's anti-cry-it-out research -- and an interview in which Ferber actually backs off his own method--to Nick, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "It ain't fun for the baby, but that shit worked. Everybody got some sleep. You going for two years with only three hours of sleep at night isn't healthy either."
I think he might have said those exact words to me the first time I left Mari in her crib. Still, as much as his reasoning made sense, it just didn't feel right to me -- her mother. And when Nick told Mari we did this to her when she was a baby, she was incredulous: "What? You use to let me cry? You didn't come get me? You just left me there by myself?!"
That was Daddy, baby!
Yeah. That Ferber training didn't last long in our house, and I don't remember even trying it with my Lila. (Which might explain why our daughters' nighttime routines were a little worthy-of-a-Broadway-production hectic for longer than they should have been. But whatevs.) My babies and I benefited greatly from our nightly bonding sessions and co-sleeping arrangements, and I'm glad I did it for as long as I did.
Now that we've got this babies need to cry it out business out of the way, I've got some ideas on what researchers need to look into next: I'm waiting for the study to show that beating your kid like she stole something in what is supposed to be a friendly game of Go Fish and Checkers causes brain melt. I'm looking at you, Nicholas Chiles. I'm looking at you.
This post originally appeared on MyBrownBaby.com.
I think this is even more inflammatory than the first one you posted. I actually read the original "research" that Navarez did. She also says that formula is poison. I am not sure what the purpose of this article is for, when several women posted that they felt bad after reading the first article.
And as a special educator that worked with children in early intervention, I can assure you that I worked with BOTH sleep trained babies and non sleep trained babies with disabilities. If you are looking to post "research" then post the journal articles that are backed by validity and reliability. Not one sided sensational pieces!
It is sad we live in a world today that we have to feel bad for the decisions we make as a parent. As a pp said, make the people who NEGLECT and ABUSE their child feel bad, not ones that choose to make decisions that are good for their families!
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| Posted 11/3/13 5:04 PM |
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Naturalmama
Posted by MrsDamonSalv7319
If you don't like this letter, than ignore it. I see nothing wrong with the fact that the OP posted it. SOME moms may not have time or knowledge to do research and decide the best methods for themselves...SOME moms might only be taking advice from the older generation of women (our parents, grandparents, aunts) that were colder and stricter in their parenting methods. Maybe SOMEONE read this letter and had a second thought about sleep training an infant...so to the OP, I see nothing wrong with this letter.
If you did CIO and it worked for you, than you can read this letter with NO guilt and shrug it off.
If you tried CIO and it didnt work for you, than this letter is just a reminder that there are other ways that can get a baby to sleep, and you don't have to go against your instincts and force your child to cry endlessly.
I'm not a fan of CIO, but even I did it and had success. BUT, I did it with a 10 month old who understood better that I wasn't abandoning her.
It seems as if anytime someone posts something that goes against the accepted norm on these sites, or might actually cause someone to think and defend their stance on a 2 sided issue, everyone attacks. If you don't like something, state YOUR opinion or ignore it, but dont attack the OP for posting it.
Because this is no different than an article that claims formula fed babies are stupid, or that babies are neglected in daycare. It makes mothers feel guilty for doing NOTHING wrong. If you want to make a mother feel guilty, choose one who chooses to deny their child food, or who beats their child. It's just sad, once again, that mothers seem to be so self righteous. If I thought for one second this article was posted to educate mothers on CIO, I would take no issue. There is nothing educational about this. I didn't CIO, yet I still find this so sad. Unless someone asks me my opinion on sleep training, breast feeding, etc, I will keep my opinion to myself.
I see you're point, but I guess my point is mothers SHOULDN'T feel guilty for doing nothing wrong. If formula feeding was best for you and your baby, than DONT FEEL guilty about it, even if I decide to post an article about how great BFing is or vice versa! I would never feel guilty for making decisions that were right for MY family, no matter how many articles people posted about other decisions.
I hate all the mom guilt, do what's right for YOUR kid and own it...be proud for doing what's right for you! But if I want to feel proud that I EBF, or did something else that I thought was right, don't tell me I'm trying to make you feel guilty! If people are THAT easily offended and feeling guilty over everything, than maybe don't read any posts that might have a Parenting opinion....
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| Posted 11/3/13 5:06 PM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Why does anyone care about a post like this, or the other post about kids missing their moms at the Halloween daycare parade?
Stop taking offense to a letter written by a fictitious CIO baby. We all do the best we can, love our kids more than anything, whether we SAHM, or god forbid "choose to work", or feed our kids YELLOW Kraft Mac n cheese. Get a grip people.
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| Posted 11/3/13 5:07 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by MrsH2009
I didn't and won't sleep train, it's not me and I don't agree with it. BUT I think this letter was unnecessary and hurtful.
Ditto.
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| Posted 11/3/13 6:15 PM |
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Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
..it's because people just want to get a rise out of people and unfortunately, it works..I find myself reacting as well and you know what? I give myself enough guilt that I have to resolve for myself daily..I don't need anymore...but thanks for playing..
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| Posted 11/3/13 6:41 PM |
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Beck
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 1334 total posts
Name:
still can't believe it's mommy
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by TheDivaBrideandTeddyFrog
..it's because people just want to get a rise out of people and unfortunately, it works..I find myself reacting as well and you know what? I give myself enough guilt that I have to resolve for myself daily..I don't need anymore...but thanks for playing..
i agree
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| Posted 11/3/13 10:33 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by ElizaRags35
Did Grill change her name or something?
 
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| Posted 11/3/13 10:39 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Avuteli
"THE BLOG
Cry It Out: The Method That Kills Baby Brain Cells
Denene MillnerDec 22, 2011
Unreal. Some people are out of control.
This serves a great purpose.   
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| Posted 11/3/13 11:54 PM |
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SweetPeaMomma
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/07 806 total posts
Name:
jen
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
I was very fortunate that my 1st was a good sleeper, I didn't need to sleep train. That being said, I found this post to be extremely upsetting. There is a glaring implication of judgement just by posting it on a parenting forum & if I had sleep trained, reading this would devastate me. Parents do what they feel is best for their children and we should be supporting each other, not posting something that would so clearly hurt someone. This post actually makes me feel a little sick.
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| Posted 11/4/13 8:36 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by SweetPeaMomma
I was very fortunate that my 1st was a good sleeper, I didn't need to sleep train. That being said, I found this post to be extremely upsetting. There is a glaring implication of judgement just by posting it on a parenting forum & if I had sleep trained, reading this would devastate me. Parents do what they feel is best for their children and we should be supporting each other, not posting something that would so clearly hurt someone. This post actually makes me feel a little sick.
Agree word for word. I only skimmed it but it was pretty clear what the OP's intentions were, I didn't even bother reading the rest.
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| Posted 11/4/13 8:46 AM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by mrsboss
Why does anyone care about a post like this, or the other post about kids missing their moms at the Halloween daycare parade?
Stop taking offense to a letter written by a fictitious CIO baby. We all do the best we can, love our kids more than anything, whether we SAHM, or god forbid "choose to work", or feed our kids YELLOW Kraft Mac n cheese. Get a grip people.
Have you ever seen the "dear mom and dad" letter written by a daughter, complaining about how her parents encouraged her to go to college, get a professional degree and become a doctor only to be tormented by society when she chose to have children and elected to continue working... and why oh why did her parents encourage her to succeed only to suffer harsh criticism and passive-aggressive commentary of judgmental women when she grew up?
that's another good one.
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| Posted 11/4/13 9:21 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Bearcat
Posted by mrsboss
Why does anyone care about a post like this, or the other post about kids missing their moms at the Halloween daycare parade?
Stop taking offense to a letter written by a fictitious CIO baby. We all do the best we can, love our kids more than anything, whether we SAHM, or god forbid "choose to work", or feed our kids YELLOW Kraft Mac n cheese. Get a grip people.
Have you ever seen the "dear mom and dad" letter written by a daughter, complaining about how her parents encouraged her to go to college, get a professional degree and become a doctor only to be tormented by society when she chose to have children and elected to continue working... and why oh why did her parents encourage her to succeed only to suffer harsh criticism and passive-aggressive commentary of judgmental women when she grew up?
that's another good one.
Ha, no I must've missed that gem!
You can't do anything 'right' on these boards, that's what I've concluded.
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| Posted 11/4/13 10:44 AM |
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VikingChick
LIF Adult
Member since 5/11 1024 total posts
Name:
Anna
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Bearcat
Posted by mrsboss
Why does anyone care about a post like this, or the other post about kids missing their moms at the Halloween daycare parade?
Stop taking offense to a letter written by a fictitious CIO baby. We all do the best we can, love our kids more than anything, whether we SAHM, or god forbid "choose to work", or feed our kids YELLOW Kraft Mac n cheese. Get a grip people.
Have you ever seen the "dear mom and dad" letter written by a daughter, complaining about how her parents encouraged her to go to college, get a professional degree and become a doctor only to be tormented by society when she chose to have children and elected to continue working... and why oh why did her parents encourage her to succeed only to suffer harsh criticism and passive-aggressive commentary of judgmental women when she grew up?
that's another good one.
Bearcat, tangent, but this is the letter I write in my head everyday to myself (NOT to my parents)!
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| Posted 11/4/13 10:59 AM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Avuteli
Please stop bashing and stating my post is stupid!
You're posts are stupid.
Deal with it!
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| Posted 11/4/13 11:12 AM |
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Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
I let DS CIO this moring for a nap because he was exhausted and wouldn't sleep at all. I had to leave for work while he was still crying. 5 minutes later my nanny called me, he stopped and proceeded to take one of the longest naps he ever had in his crib. I have been sitting at my desk with a knot in my stomach about to cry for the past few hours. Thanks for the insensitive post
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| Posted 11/4/13 12:48 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by ourhappysurprise2012
I let DS CIO this moring for a nap because he was exhausted and wouldn't sleep at all. I had to leave for work while he was still crying. 5 minutes later my nanny called me, he stopped and proceeded to take one of the longest naps he ever had in his crib. I have been sitting at my desk with a knot in my stomach about to cry for the past few hours. Thanks for the insensitive post
Your child was crying because he was cranky and overly tired. You had to go to work to support your family and give your child things that he will cherish. Do NOT let any person make you feel like crap about that or any stupid ignorant post on an article that is hurtful and full of BS. This articles sole intent is to make people who have an opposing view feel like crap. I'm sure your DS woke up happy and refreshed and he did stop crying 5 minutes after you left.
You know what works for you and your family, don't let anyone diminish that.
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| Posted 11/4/13 1:08 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Avuteli
Posted by lakadema
And the point of posting this letter was .....
The point is to spread awareness ... Here I found another interesting article ... Please stop bashing and stating my post is stupid! If you disagree thats ok ... We all can have our opinions about different things in life ! This is mine and I would like to share .
Not a mom, yet.
However, this article is not to spread awareness.
It's to make mothers who do CIO feel bad that they do. You are trying to make a woman feel like an inferior mother to YOU because she does things you don't like.
I don't like the fact that you push your nasty agenda on others and make them feel like like crap.
MOTHERS SHOULD SUPPORT MOTHERS, NOT MAKE THEM FEEL INFERIOR OR SMALL BECAUE THEY DON'T MAKE THE SAME DECISIONS YOU DO.
You should be ashamed for making some of these women feel bad. I'm embarrassed for you.
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| Posted 11/4/13 1:09 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Posted by Paramount
Posted by Avuteli
Posted by lakadema
And the point of posting this letter was .....
The point is to spread awareness ... Here I found another interesting article ... Please stop bashing and stating my post is stupid! If you disagree thats ok ... We all can have our opinions about different things in life ! This is mine and I would like to share .
Not a mom, yet.
However, this article is not to spread awareness.
It's to make mothers who do CIO feel bad that they do. You are trying to make a woman feel like an inferior mother to YOU because she does things you don't like.
I don't like the fact that you push your nasty agenda on others and make them feel like like crap.
MOTHERS SHOULD SUPPORT MOTHERS, NOT MAKE THEM FEEL INFERIOR OR SMALL BECAUE THEY DON'T MAKE THE SAME DECISIONS YOU DO.
You should be ashamed for making some of these women feel bad. I'm embarrassed for you.
agreed. newborns and infants lack the vocabulary to think and comprehend as expressed above. its all BS. They don't rationalize, they don't reason. They don't "know". That article is pure evil and makes those who chose not to CIO feel better about their decisions while those who do CIO feel like total shit.
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| Posted 11/4/13 1:13 PM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: Great read... A-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby
Like someone earlier in this post said this is definitely grill with a new name lol
If not this op's motives are soooo similar to grill's ....quote various uneducated, unprofessional, unresearched and downright biased articles and pawn then off as if they were written by people "in the field" when it comes to childrens health and well being when in actuality these said articles are written by some no name tom d i c k or Harry that could be selling you fries with your Big Mac for all we know ....and all these uneducated articles do is make the insecure op feel good by bringing others down ....possibly there are some childhood issues behind this inability to feel good about oneself without making others feel bad about themselves?...possibly cry it out and formula would've helped? ;) I think I should write an article on this ;)
Seriously though Never did CIO but I am not against it ....I don't judge anyone's decisions if it works for them THATS IT, END OF STORY if it works for them and everyone in that family is happy and healthy then bottom line ITS NONE OF YOUR FN BUSINESS along with other topics such as:
Working vs sahm
Vaccines vs no vaccines
Breastfeeding vs formula feeding
Etc etc etc etc
Enough is enough stop the judgemental b u l l s h i t already
Message edited 11/4/2013 2:07:38 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/13 1:36 PM |
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