Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

ugh tough one!

maybe you can have her wait outside while you and your husband get a peek at the sonogram first...

and then after your private moment, you can call her in..

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

was she upset that she missed your baby's conception too?

seriously, there's no WAY MIL would ever be in a room with me when I have no pants on..... sorry.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

I totally agree with everyone about internal sonos - DHs only!

On a different note, and not to sound self-pitying, I cannot get anyone in my family to come to any of my sonograms! I get one every three weeks because of BP issues, and I have invited my parents and sisters. I have said before that they are all BTDT (this is the 11th grandchild for my famlily), and it really hurts! DH's family is in Australia, and even though we speak 1-2x week, I think they honestly don't even remember than I am pregnant.

So.... your MIL might be pushy, yes, but at the same time her enthusiasm is something very nice, albeit possibly in need of a little taming!

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

IMHO, I do not see the big deal, she is the grandmother afterall. Sometimes we do things in life to make things easier for all people involved. I think it's great that she wants to share this time with you! Good luck in whatever you decide.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

Hell NO my mother or his...u are right it is a VERY INTIMATE PERSONAL expirence...she already had that with her husband when she was pregnant

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

Posted by MrsFlatbread

IMHO, I do not see the big deal, she is the grandmother afterall. Sometimes we do things in life to make things easier for all people involved. I think it's great that she wants to share this time with you! Good luck in whatever you decide.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

I think that each couple has to make this decision for themselves and that you have to work with family members to establish the right relationship boundaries for this new family member.

For us, we wanted the 1st sono to be just us. It was internal and the journey was very emotion and personal for us to get PG. My mother came to other sonos and his mother was invited a couple times, but didn't take us up on the offer.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

God no!

I don’t spread my legs for just anyone and I sure as hell don’t spread them for my hubby’s family members!

That’s just so not a cool idea


I love my dad to pieces and he’s pretty much my ‘mother figure’ but no way would I ask him to come for that ‘viewing’ either. That’s what pictures are for.

I figure MIL and Mother both got to see the private parts enough when we were kids. I see no reason to ever lift up my legs for them.

To me it’s disgusting.

If I had to explain it to my MIL (which I don’t) Id put it pretty straight. I really think its great you want to be there and I’m touched but this is an internal sonogram and they have to have me on the table in stirrups and I don’t feel comfortable with you seeing me that way. Yes, I know you’ve seen it before, but not my stuff and it’s just something I’m uncomfortable with. You are welcome to come and wait in the waiting room for the first chance to see the pictures and I’d love to invite you to the external sonograms, but please I hope you can respect my feelings and modesty and please understand I can’t let you in on this one.


JMO

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

Thanks for letting me vent.

I am going to be upfront with her if she asks me personally. But, I am sure DH will talk to her before I do. I am not trying to be one of those DIL's who is trying to be difficult but boundaries are needed. She had always been good with boundaries prior to this. I guess she felt it wasn't a big deal b/c she went to her daughters. It su xs because I know her feelings will be hurt. Also, since I've been dealing with IF for a long time, I want to prepare myself if in case I have to worry for whatever reason and I only want DH at my side.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

unless you have a bad relationship with her, i don't see the big deal.

i've had my mom, MIL and aunt at several times during my sonos along with DH. even internal sonos--they completely cover you up so it's not like they see anything.

my mom and MIL are the future grandparents and my aunt is like a mom to me, and i wanted them to experience their grandson before he was born. i'm glad i did because they were as excited as we were. at one point i had DH, mom and MIL in the room at once for my level 2!

it didn't take away from our "experience" at all as husband and wife. in fact, i think it added to it by having the grandmas involved. i would even have had FIL if he'd like to come, but he's always at work

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

Tell her the room is too small, and only you and dh can fit.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

I would not have wanted my MIL at the first sono...it's too personal for me. The level 2 is a diff story (in my opinion) but I wanted the first one to be just DH and I . And i ADORE my inlaws, I just feel that when they are doing an internal sono there is no reason for anyone else to be there. MAYBE my mom if she had really wanted to, but thats it!

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

Not only do I think that the first one is special, I also think the level II sono is just as important.

I would want to be the first one with my dh to know of the sex and then let everyone else know later.

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

say no way!

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

Does his sister want to go too?

Re: Guess who wants to go with us to our 1st U/S?

i think it REALLY depends on your relationship with your mother, MIL as well as your own personality

I dont have a mother in law. At times, I feel like I would really like to have one, and other times, I feel lucky that I dont have to deal with the issues many people do

However, my sister has 3 boys and I have gone with her when she got sonograms with each of them - no internals

I have no problem with my mother coming to my sonograms either - its just my belly with some jelly -

internals are a different story