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Heres an etiquette question

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boosh1002
We like hanging together!

Member since 5/05

5475 total posts

Name:
Mommy to twins

Heres an etiquette question

Lets say that you were invited to a friends or family's house for dinner. Dinner is done, do you offer to help out, clearing the table, etc...

Personally, I would never ask or accept help from friends that I invite over.

Posted 7/27/05 10:09 AM
 
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justme1
Proud SAHM

Member since 5/05

1955 total posts

Name:
Jodi

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Hmmm..
I always offer to help and usually I am turned down.
I also dont except help when guests come over but I always do appreciate when they ask.
I think it's nice to ask..JMO

Message edited 7/27/2005 10:12:29 AM.

Posted 7/27/05 10:11 AM
 

MrsDiamondgrlie
Bailey

Member since 5/05

12810 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Friend's house not expected to help but family, I force myself in there to help out.

Posted 7/27/05 10:13 AM
 

FeliciaDP

Member since 5/05

18599 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I would never ask for help but I WOULD accept help, actually .. that's pretty much the way its done in our family and when I've gone to friends/vice versa.

what DOES IRK me is during family gatherings, there is inevitably a couple people who deliberately go out of their way NOT to offer to help clean up, etc.. for instance, all the other ladies will be tidying up and this person will just go inside and watch TV while everyone is doing all the work. That to me is just kinda rude

Posted 7/27/05 10:13 AM
 

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

Name:

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I always offer to help, both family and friends.

Posted 7/27/05 10:14 AM
 

boosh1002
We like hanging together!

Member since 5/05

5475 total posts

Name:
Mommy to twins

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by Diamondgrlie

but family, I force myself in there to help out.



Yeah I hear ya, I force myself to do this too

Posted 7/27/05 10:16 AM
 

LMFitz
life is good

Member since 5/05

2013 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by FeliciaDP

I would never ask for help but I WOULD accept help, actually .. that's pretty much the way its done in our family and when I've gone to friends/vice versa.



Same with us - we always end up with the women in the kitchen cleaning up and chatting and the men off elsewhere being loud. Chat Icon

And I always insist on helping out when I'm over anywhere for dinner.

And never come empty-handed! Chat Icon

Posted 7/27/05 10:16 AM
 

Moehick
Ready for the sun!

Member since 5/05

30339 total posts

Name:
Properly perfect™

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I always help family and offer to help friends. Usually friends say no but I at least clear off DH and mines plate before they shoo me away.


Why you having a dinner party and looking for polite people to have over!Chat Icon

Posted 7/27/05 10:17 AM
 

boosh1002
We like hanging together!

Member since 5/05

5475 total posts

Name:
Mommy to twins

Re: Heres an etiquette question


And never come empty-handed! Chat Icon



Defintely!!!!

Posted 7/27/05 10:17 AM
 

boosh1002
We like hanging together!

Member since 5/05

5475 total posts

Name:
Mommy to twins

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by Moehick

I always help family and offer to help friends. Usually friends say no but I at least clear off DH and mines plate before they shoo me away.


Why you having a dinner party and looking for polite people to have over!Chat Icon



Na it was a debate me, Don and my mom got into over the weekend. With Don's family they never ask for any help nor will they take it,
with my family its a different story, they ask you to help out, its pretty much required

Dont worry we WILL meet some day!!!

Posted 7/27/05 10:19 AM
 

Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

Member since 5/05

15287 total posts

Name:

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I don't ask to help, I just do it.

And I would accept help from guests.

Pretty much anyone I have in my home is either family or close friend so it doesn't really feel odd although I go through the "please, just sit down, this will only take a minute" spiel.

Posted 7/27/05 10:19 AM
 

jms100303
Luv my munchkins

Member since 5/05

4789 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Of course I would offer to help and I would just stand up and start clearing the table. I think it would be rude for me to just sit there while they cleaned up. However, I don't know that I would be washing dishes and stuff.

When we have dinner guests, most offer and I say no, but they still help clear anyway. But then again most of the people we have over for dinner parties are really close friends to us.

Posted 7/27/05 10:20 AM
 

LMFitz
life is good

Member since 5/05

2013 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by boosh1002


And never come empty-handed! Chat Icon



Defintely!!!!



It amazes me how many people don't understand the courtesy of brining something - anything! Chat Icon

Posted 7/27/05 10:21 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I always offer and at the very least, help to clear the table. I also don't show up empty handed.

If help is offered to me, sometimes I accept and sometimes I don't. Our kitchen is very small, so sometimes having extra people in their is more stressful to me than just doing the work myself.

Posted 7/27/05 10:23 AM
 

jms100303
Luv my munchkins

Member since 5/05

4789 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by FeliciaDP

what DOES IRK me is during family gatherings, there is inevitably a couple people who deliberately go out of their way NOT to offer to help clean up, etc.. for instance, all the other ladies will be tidying up and this person will just go inside and watch TV while everyone is doing all the work. That to me is just kinda rude



That drives me crazy!!!

On my side of the family my male cousins won't even clear their own plates at family holidays. It is BS! They expect my mom and their dad to do it. We hosted Christmas this year and I made them help clean up and let our parents relax. They are just lazy and can't be bothered, they feel they should be waited on. Give me a break!

I ALWAYS help clean up, no matter where I am. On my DH's side he has a couple that just sit there without helping too. Just rude.

Posted 7/27/05 10:23 AM
 

boosh1002
We like hanging together!

Member since 5/05

5475 total posts

Name:
Mommy to twins

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by LMFitz

Posted by boosh1002


And never come empty-handed! Chat Icon



Defintely!!!!



It amazes me how many people don't understand the courtesy of brining something - anything! Chat Icon



this actually happened to me last year!! Lets just say I had to make a quick stop at Waldbaums!!!

Posted 7/27/05 10:23 AM
 

~Colleen~
my loves...

Member since 5/05

9129 total posts

Name:
guess

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by Christine

I don't ask to help, I just do it.

And I would accept help from guests.

Pretty much anyone I have in my home is either family or close friend so it doesn't really feel odd although I go through the "please, just sit down, this will only take a minute" spiel.



Same here.

Posted 7/27/05 10:24 AM
 

FeliciaDP

Member since 5/05

18599 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by boosh1002

Posted by Moehick

I always help family and offer to help friends. Usually friends say no but I at least clear off DH and mines plate before they shoo me away.


Why you having a dinner party and looking for polite people to have over!Chat Icon



Na it was a debate me, Don and my mom got into over the weekend. With Don's family they never ask for any help nor will they take it,
with my family its a different story, they ask you to help out, its pretty much required

Dont worry we WILL meet some day!!!



Oh lets just hope that you don't meet Moe by way of catching her with Don and steak sauce in her hand !! Chat Icon Chat Icon (J/K)

Posted 7/27/05 10:27 AM
 

karacg
Babygirl is 4!

Member since 5/05

17076 total posts

Name:
Kara®

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I offer, and I accept when needed.

What I hate -- DH is a huge help at home, when we have guests he helps. But when we are at family gatherings -- all the SILs do everything and the men, nothing.

We still have a long way to go ladies!!

Posted 7/27/05 10:27 AM
 

Elbee
Zanzibar

Member since 5/05

10767 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I always am the dish-washer at family & friends houses. I cannot let the hostess do that after all the work they do to have the party.
I grew up doing dishes by hand so it doesn't bother me to do a sinkful at a friends/families house. I could NEVER just sit there and watch someone else clean.

As for at my house, any help is appreciated, although my kitchen is small I end up doing most of it myself.

Posted 7/27/05 10:30 AM
 

FeliciaDP

Member since 5/05

18599 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by karacg

I offer, and I accept when needed.

What I hate -- DH is a huge help at home, when we have guests he helps. But when we are at family gatherings -- all the SILs do everything and the men, nothing.

We still have a long way to go ladies!!



Kara, this was going to be my NEXT statement... there is totally the double - standard in existence when it comes to this and its both in MY family as well as DH's family.

ON Dh's side it'll be me and my SILs and my MIL, DH's aunt doing ALL the work while ALL the men sit around doing NOTHING... and the same holds true for my family..

Lets not even mention that the women do ALL the cooking too .. so really, the men get a free ride!

BUT as you said, my DH is wonderful at home .. so its like peer pressure to be jerks when they are all together or something Chat Icon

Posted 7/27/05 10:31 AM
 

JenniferEver
The Disney Lady

Member since 5/05

18163 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I always bring something, cleaning up is hard. Some people just get up and start helping. I have a ahrd tme with that, because I feel like maybe people don't want me touching everything. Some people like to have a lto fo control over their kitchen. I offer, but I won't jump up and just help.

Posted 7/27/05 10:32 AM
 

boosh1002
We like hanging together!

Member since 5/05

5475 total posts

Name:
Mommy to twins

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by FeliciaDP

Posted by karacg

I offer, and I accept when needed.

What I hate -- DH is a huge help at home, when we have guests he helps. But when we are at family gatherings -- all the SILs do everything and the men, nothing.

We still have a long way to go ladies!!



Kara, this was going to be my NEXT statement... there is totally the double - standard in existence when it comes to this and its both in MY family as well as DH's family.

ON Dh's side it'll be me and my SILs and my MIL, DH's aunt doing ALL the work while ALL the men sit around doing NOTHING... and the same holds true for my family..

Lets not even mention that the women do ALL the cooking too .. so really, the men get a free ride!

BUT as you said, my DH is wonderful at home .. so its like peer pressure to be jerks when they are all together or something Chat Icon



I hear ya on this. Don is the same way!!! His idea of helping is pouring the drinks!! Meanwhile, Im cooking my a s s off !!!

Posted 7/27/05 10:36 AM
 

MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Heres an etiquette question

I always offer, sometimes I just bringing things in to the kitchen so its less trips the host has to make.

When I have big dinners at my house (last one I had was a party with almost 50 people) I needed help...it was too much for just me to do, so I gladly accepted.

There have been smaller dinner where I accept help too, becuase its a lot for one person to do.

ETA; I agree with you guys, 99.9% of the time its all the women who help although DH does help me too!

Message edited 7/27/2005 10:40:03 AM.

Posted 7/27/05 10:37 AM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: Heres an etiquette question

Posted by Colleen9304

Posted by Christine

I don't ask to help, I just do it.

And I would accept help from guests.

Pretty much anyone I have in my home is either family or close friend so it doesn't really feel odd although I go through the "please, just sit down, this will only take a minute" spiel.



Same here.



Same here also! Chat Icon

Posted 7/27/05 10:37 AM
 
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