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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by maybebaby
It's true that the kid prob knew right from wrong (the fact he was hiding the stuff makes that pretty obvious) BUT it's such a tough situation because, well, my son is turning 5 in September and honestly he has picked stuff up and gone to walk away with it (innocently of course).
I know this child was a bit older and KNEW that it was "wrong" but 6 is still very little...who knows what was going on in his head about it all..
I was in a 7-11 last year and a kid prob around 8 or 9 put a bag of chips in his backpack. The manager saw him do it..followed him outside, opened the backpack, grabbed the chips and told him he was lucky he didn't call the police and that he was a terrible boy. The kid started BAWLING. It was awful. He sat and cried on the sidewalk sobbing...I asked him why he did it, he said he was hungry and didn't have money. Seriously..it was just so sad. I bought him chips and a drink, gave it to him and told him that it would be ok..that he was a good boy and just did a stupid thing but not to do it again...the kid prob had no one that really cared about him.
Anyway...I digress..sorry!!! Just saying..kids do stupid things and especially at 6 i feel that complete right vs. wrong this is a bit cloudy, lol..I prob would have just approached the mom, but i know your intentions weren't bad...
A 5-6 year old knows it's wrong to steal - and if he doesn't, it's time he should find out.
I may be the meanest person on the planet because I honestly think buying the kid chips & a drink was a disservice to him. He's hungry/thirsty so he's going to steal it? How about calling his parents? i'd want to know my kid was stealing & take care of that kind of cr@p pronto.
Well at the time I just felt badly for the child...I had seen him walking by himself all the time and dressed pretty badly...I did talk to him more before i bought him the chips and drink..he said that he only had a mom and she wasn't home till late.
Who knows the truth, maybe it was a disservice but the kid was hungry. You could tell he was. I don't honestly think he was the type of kid that went around taking chips from stores for the thrill of it.
I did what i wanted to do at the time...I felt sad about it for a while after actually, wondering who was watching him, how much he had to eat at home, etc.
It just made me sad, especially as a mom.
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Posted 5/9/11 12:57 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MySunshine
In love with my Baby Boy
Member since 3/11 2783 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
I agree with many of the PP's. When I opened this I was expecting to read about and adult- not a 6 year old.
If I was in the situation, I probably would not have done anything besides asking where his mommy was. If I felt that I had to "tattle" then I would have gone to the mother. There is no reason to run to the store manager and tell on the kid (he's 6 for God's sake!). I mean if it bothered you that much- again speak to the mom about it, if not mind your business. The embarassment that the poor woman must have felt was not worth it for 2 candy bars.
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| Posted 5/9/11 1:02 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by maybebaby
It's true that the kid prob knew right from wrong (the fact he was hiding the stuff makes that pretty obvious) BUT it's such a tough situation because, well, my son is turning 5 in September and honestly he has picked stuff up and gone to walk away with it (innocently of course).
I know this child was a bit older and KNEW that it was "wrong" but 6 is still very little...who knows what was going on in his head about it all..
I was in a 7-11 last year and a kid prob around 8 or 9 put a bag of chips in his backpack. The manager saw him do it..followed him outside, opened the backpack, grabbed the chips and told him he was lucky he didn't call the police and that he was a terrible boy. The kid started BAWLING. It was awful. He sat and cried on the sidewalk sobbing...I asked him why he did it, he said he was hungry and didn't have money. Seriously..it was just so sad. I bought him chips and a drink, gave it to him and told him that it would be ok..that he was a good boy and just did a stupid thing but not to do it again...the kid prob had no one that really cared about him.
Anyway...I digress..sorry!!! Just saying..kids do stupid things and especially at 6 i feel that complete right vs. wrong this is a bit cloudy, lol..I prob would have just approached the mom, but i know your intentions weren't bad...
A 5-6 year old knows it's wrong to steal - and if he doesn't, it's time he should find out.
I may be the meanest person on the planet because I honestly think buying the kid chips & a drink was a disservice to him. He's hungry/thirsty so he's going to steal it? How about calling his parents? i'd want to know my kid was stealing & take care of that kind of cr@p pronto.
Well at the time I just felt badly for the child...I had seen him walking by himself all the time and dressed pretty badly...I did talk to him more before i bought him the chips and drink..he said that he only had a mom and she wasn't home till late.
Who knows the truth, maybe it was a disservice but the kid was hungry. You could tell he was. I don't honestly think he was the type of kid that went around taking chips from stores for the thrill of it.
I did what i wanted to do at the time...I felt sad about it for a while after actually, wondering who was watching him, how much he had to eat at home, etc.
It just made me sad, especially as a mom.
I probably would have done the same thing...
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| Posted 5/9/11 1:52 PM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by DPerotti
Not sure I would've titled this post as "Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight " he's 6  nor do I think 2 hours later I'd still be still shaken up by it. . .
I get what you did, although knowing myself I probably would've just said to him "are you getting those for Mommy?" or something along those lines and explain he couldn't put them in his pocket without her knowing.
Same here. This is so melodramatic! I would've said something to try and explain to the kid why it was wrong rather than just shaking my head at him.  And if he persisted, then I would've explained to his mother, but not the manager!
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| Posted 5/9/11 2:10 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
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| Posted 5/10/11 8:30 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by maybebaby
Well at the time I just felt badly for the child...I had seen him walking by himself all the time and dressed pretty badly...I did talk to him more before i bought him the chips and drink..he said that he only had a mom and she wasn't home till late.
Who knows the truth, maybe it was a disservice but the kid was hungry. You could tell he was. I don't honestly think he was the type of kid that went around taking chips from stores for the thrill of it.
I did what i wanted to do at the time...I felt sad about it for a while after actually, wondering who was watching him, how much he had to eat at home, etc.
It just made me sad, especially as a mom.
Poor kid. While I think he should NOT have stolen....I really feel bad for the kid and commend you for handling the situation the way you did. Buying him some food was really nice of you 
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| Posted 5/10/11 8:32 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
ITA!! 
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| Posted 5/10/11 8:52 AM |
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
Agreed 
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| Posted 5/10/11 8:57 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by jilliibabii
Posted by DPerotti
Not sure I would've titled this post as "Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight " he's 6 nor do I think 2 hours later I'd still be still shaken up by it. . .
I get what you did, although knowing myself I probably would've just said to him "are you getting those for Mommy?" or something along those lines and explain he couldn't put them in his pocket without her knowing.
Same here. This is so melodramatic! I would've said something to try and explain to the kid why it was wrong rather than just shaking my head at him. And if he persisted, then I would've explained to his mother, but not the manager!
ITA. And I'm still laughing at the post about getting shoplifters off the streets  He's six
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| Posted 5/10/11 9:22 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
OK, so what would you suggest then? Let him continue to steal the candy bars? Just because he is a little kid doesn't mean it is OK to turn the other cheek and ignore what he is doing. Because what he is doing is wrong. Plain and simple.
If for some reason at 6 years old he was not aware that stealing is wrong, then this is the perfect opportunity for someone to teach him that lesson.
I agree with the OP in the way she alerted the store employee to take care of it because honestly I think that going directly to the parent is potentially looking for trouble. We live in a world where so many people have the "MYOB" attitude that I can only imagine how some mothers would react if approached by someone about this.
And having the store employees involved is certainly going to send a message to this child that what he did was wrong and he will hopefully not do it again.
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| Posted 5/10/11 10:45 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
OK, so what would you suggest then? Let him continue to steal the candy bars? Just because he is a little kid doesn't mean it is OK to turn the other cheek and ignore what he is doing. Because what he is doing is wrong. Plain and simple.
If for some reason at 6 years old he was not aware that stealing is wrong, then this is the perfect opportunity for someone to teach him that lesson.
I agree with the OP in the way she alerted the store employee to take care of it because honestly I think that going directly to the parent is potentially looking for trouble. We live in a world where so many people have the "MYOB" attitude that I can only imagine how some mothers would react if approached by someone about this.
And having the store employees involved is certainly going to send a message to this child that what he did was wrong and he will hopefully not do it again.
What would I suggest? I would suggest telling the said 6 year old myself that the candy bar is NOT his to take. I'm certain that alone would rattle him enough to make an impression. Again he's 6.....what would the store manager do...call the police and have him arrested?? Come on now.
Message edited 5/10/2011 11:01:35 AM.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:00 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by ShaunsMommy
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
OK, so what would you suggest then? Let him continue to steal the candy bars? Just because he is a little kid doesn't mean it is OK to turn the other cheek and ignore what he is doing. Because what he is doing is wrong. Plain and simple.
If for some reason at 6 years old he was not aware that stealing is wrong, then this is the perfect opportunity for someone to teach him that lesson.
I agree with the OP in the way she alerted the store employee to take care of it because honestly I think that going directly to the parent is potentially looking for trouble. We live in a world where so many people have the "MYOB" attitude that I can only imagine how some mothers would react if approached by someone about this.
And having the store employees involved is certainly going to send a message to this child that what he did was wrong and he will hopefully not do it again.
What would I suggest? I would suggest telling the said 6 year old myself that the candy bar is NOT his to take. I'm certain that alone would rattle him enough to make an impression. Again he's 6.....what would the store manager do...call the police and have him arrested?? Come on now.
Well, good luck with that because there is a very good chance you will have some crazy mother coming out from the shadows screaming at you about how you shouldn't be talking to her child.
No, I don't expect the store to call the police on a 6 year old. But to be completely honest with you, they would have every right to do so to teach the child a lesson. I don't understand why you think it is so ridiculous to alert store employees to someone trying to steal, no matter how young they are.... but we can agree to disagree.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:04 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by jerseypanda
but we can agree to disagree.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:07 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
This is great. The OP obviously wanted to try and do the right thing by this kid while avoiding a potential confrontation, but she is getting ripped to shreds for her choice of words. Fantastic.
Felice, I think we knew what you meant, I think a lot of people are arguing semantics rather than intent, and I think you did the same thing I would have. 
Message edited 5/10/2011 11:09:35 AM.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:09 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by ShaunsMommy
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
OK, so what would you suggest then? Let him continue to steal the candy bars? Just because he is a little kid doesn't mean it is OK to turn the other cheek and ignore what he is doing. Because what he is doing is wrong. Plain and simple.
If for some reason at 6 years old he was not aware that stealing is wrong, then this is the perfect opportunity for someone to teach him that lesson.
I agree with the OP in the way she alerted the store employee to take care of it because honestly I think that going directly to the parent is potentially looking for trouble. We live in a world where so many people have the "MYOB" attitude that I can only imagine how some mothers would react if approached by someone about this.
And having the store employees involved is certainly going to send a message to this child that what he did was wrong and he will hopefully not do it again.
What would I suggest? I would suggest telling the said 6 year old myself that the candy bar is NOT his to take. I'm certain that alone would rattle him enough to make an impression. Again he's 6.....what would the store manager do...call the police and have him arrested?? Come on now.
Well, good luck with that because there is a very good chance you will have some crazy mother coming out from the shadows screaming at you about how you shouldn't be talking to her child.
No, I don't expect the store to call the police on a 6 year old. But to be completely honest with you, they would have every right to do so to teach the child a lesson. I don't understand why you think it is so ridiculous to alert store employees to someone trying to steal, no matter how young they are.... but we can agree to disagree.
WOW! you think it would be alright to call the cops of and possibly ARREST a 6 YO? that would be a good way to teach them a lesson? and coming from a mother no less.. THAT IS INSANE! I would agree if it had been an older kid but not a 6 YO.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:20 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by bicosi
WOW! you think it would be alright to call the cops of and possibly ARREST a 6 YO? that would be a good way to teach them a lesson? and coming from a mother no less.. THAT IS INSANE! I would agree if it had been an older kid but not a 6 YO.
Yes, I am a mother. No, I am not insane, despite what you believe... but thanks for your opinion.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:37 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
you are right the more I read this the more I think OP should mind her own business.
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| Posted 5/10/11 11:40 AM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by maybesoon
you are right the more I read this the more I think OP should mind her own business.
I disagree completely. We can argue all day about whether she should've gone to the mother instead of the manager, or if the child actually understood that what he was doing was wrong, but at the end of the day, what the kid did WAS wrong. If she had just minded her own business and allowed it to happen, it's contributing to the problem.
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| Posted 5/10/11 12:28 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by headoverheels
This is great. The OP obviously wanted to try and do the right thing by this kid while avoiding a potential confrontation, but she is getting ripped to shreds for her choice of words. Fantastic.
Felice, I think we knew what you meant, I think a lot of people are arguing semantics rather than intent, and I think you did the same thing I would have.
ITA.
I seriously doubt the manager is going to call the cops on a 6 year old. They are not going to arrest a 6 year old, but they will scare the heck out of him/her - which would be fine by me (also a parent here).
I agree that you let the store manager handle it (or not) at their discretion. My friends were told by the police that people use their children all of the time to create distractions & steal. While it's unlikely the case here, I think you handle it just like you would any other time you saw someone stealing.
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| Posted 5/10/11 12:47 PM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by headoverheels
This is great. The OP obviously wanted to try and do the right thing by this kid while avoiding a potential confrontation, but she is getting ripped to shreds for her choice of words. Fantastic.
ITA. Maybe she didn't word it right but I sincerely doubt the OP was looking to bust a 6 year old that evening or have him taken downtown for questioning .
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| Posted 5/10/11 12:54 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a shoplifter tonight
Posted by JessInCA
Posted by maybesoon
you are right the more I read this the more I think OP should mind her own business.
I disagree completely. We can argue all day about whether she should've gone to the mother instead of the manager, or if the child actually understood that what he was doing was wrong, but at the end of the day, what the kid did WAS wrong. If she had just minded her own business and allowed it to happen, it's contributing to the problem.
TOTALLY agree
Shame on those who would have done nothing
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| Posted 5/10/11 12:58 PM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Hopefully stopped a small child from making a mistake
Thank you again to those who supported my decision from Friday night. Like I said in my previous post, what's done is done! I still stand by my decision :)
For those who were so bothered by my wording of the title, I changed it
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| Posted 5/10/11 1:23 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Hopefully stopped a small child from making a mistake
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by ShaunsMommy
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by ShaunsMommy
sorry i really dont mean to be harsh but IMO the original post is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. He was just a LITTLE kid.....no need to involve the store manager.
OK, so what would you suggest then? Let him continue to steal the candy bars? Just because he is a little kid doesn't mean it is OK to turn the other cheek and ignore what he is doing. Because what he is doing is wrong. Plain and simple.
If for some reason at 6 years old he was not aware that stealing is wrong, then this is the perfect opportunity for someone to teach him that lesson.
I agree with the OP in the way she alerted the store employee to take care of it because honestly I think that going directly to the parent is potentially looking for trouble. We live in a world where so many people have the "MYOB" attitude that I can only imagine how some mothers would react if approached by someone about this.
And having the store employees involved is certainly going to send a message to this child that what he did was wrong and he will hopefully not do it again.
What would I suggest? I would suggest telling the said 6 year old myself that the candy bar is NOT his to take. I'm certain that alone would rattle him enough to make an impression. Again he's 6.....what would the store manager do...call the police and have him arrested?? Come on now.
Well, good luck with that because there is a very good chance you will have some crazy mother coming out from the shadows screaming at you about how you shouldn't be talking to her child.
No, I don't expect the store to call the police on a 6 year old. But to be completely honest with you, they would have every right to do so to teach the child a lesson. I don't understand why you think it is so ridiculous to alert store employees to someone trying to steal, no matter how young they are.... but we can agree to disagree.
I agree with how you handled it. You didn't make a big scene. You discretely told the store, so they can handle their store and their merchandise the way they see fit. Most people say "6 is too young to tell on them, but 13 is OK." So, when is that turning point? 10? 11?... I think 6 is a great time to remind them that stealing is wrong. It's much better to learn it at 6 for a candy bar, then be allowed to get away with it until 13, and stealing cars (yes, it's an extreme example, but it does happen....)
Also, your safety is a concern as well, as you mentioned. We've all seen too many videos and read too many stories about women physically attacking people for approaching their DC, especially if it's for stealing. Now THAT would be embarrassing for everyone....
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| Posted 5/10/11 2:38 PM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: Hopefully stopped a small child from making a mistake
Posted by GoldenRod
I agree with how you handled it. You didn't make a big scene. You discretely told the store, so they can handle their store and their merchandise the way they see fit. Most people say "6 is too young to tell on them, but 13 is OK." So, when is that turning point? 10? 11?... I think 6 is a great time to remind them that stealing is wrong. It's much better to learn it at 6 for a candy bar, then be allowed to get away with it until 13, and stealing cars (yes, it's an extreme example, but it does happen....)
Also, your safety is a concern as well, as you mentioned. We've all seen too many videos and read too many stories about women physically attacking people for approaching their DC, especially if it's for stealing. Now THAT would be embarrassing for everyone....
Totally agree with this.
I don't think you did anything wrong. I'm kind of surprised that people think it's ok that a kid (even if he's only 6 - though I'd guess we really don't know the actual age) was stealing. I think if it was my DS, I'd prefer to have a store clerk talk to me about it then some stranger talk to me, or to my DS. But maybe that's just me. I sincerely doubt the store would plan call the police- but maybe it would teach the kid it wasn't ok.
It would be a totally different story if it was a 3 year old just grabbing something off the shelf when mom didn't notice. It sounds like this kid took what he knew wasn't his, and tried to conceal it.
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| Posted 5/10/11 3:11 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hopefully stopped a small child from making a mistake
I think there are a few different things that you could have done - told the cashier, told the mom, and all would have been appropriate.
If it was me, I would prefer the cashier to say something directly to my kid and scare the crap out of them. My oldest daughter is only 5 and believe me when I tell you she knows stealing anything is wrong. Even my 4 year old knows it is wrong.
I cant believe people are picking your post apart, regardless of how it was worded.
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| Posted 5/10/11 3:25 PM |
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