How did you know you are done?

How did you know you were done having children! I know... my twins are only 8 weeks old. Little early to be thinking of this, but throughout my pregnancy I said I was done. Now that my twins are here, I still feel done most days. I had an easy pregnancy, I can easily afford 2, easily fit 2 in my house. I have time for the 2 even though life is hectic. I don't want to go through fertility treatments again either.
DH and I go back and forth with him getting a snip and there's this little part of me that is slightly hesitant. Sad I won't be pregnant again, sad I'll never have another newborn even though my kids are nuts! I packed up my maternity clothes and put them in my crawl space and I'm like why am I keeping them? Same with their clothes they have out grown. I made a huge pile and then I'm like you know what I have doubles of everything let me keep some stuff. I really want DH to go for a snip, I don't want more but can't shake the feeling of being sad

Message edited 3/10/2017 8:33:28 PM.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I think a small part of me will never feel done and I have 3 kids (and am really done).
I have all the stuff in the attic/basement.
I've donated my maternity stuff (except for a few items).
I keep only the best clothes and lend them to my sisser's kids.
I think I'm a few years, when I'm older (and not able to get pregnant at all), I will be able to give the stuff away without looking back.
But... I think that knowing I will not do the newborn thing again is too sad to let me be logical (I loved it!).

Re: How did you know you are done?

There was never a doubt in my mind that I was done after one.
From the second I peed on the stick i knew that I didn't want to be pregnant ever again.

Not one day since having DD have I said- hmmm, I might want another.
I have never felt more sure about something. I just feel 100% complete in our family. I can't imagine it any other way.

It's honestly the only thing in my life I have ever felt so 100% about. No joke.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I can't describe it, but I just have this feeling of this is it and I am totally ok with that. I just had my third in October. I don't ever want to be pregnant or have a newborn again. I just look at the hardship and negatives now and think "phew! Glad I don't have to do that again!" I have my two boys and just had my baby girl and feel our family is complete, as it was meant to be. I gave away my maternity clothes and am giving away the outgrown kids clothes too.

If you're unsure at all, I'd not do anything permanent, table that decision and revisit in a year. You just had twins 8 weeks ago woman!

How did you know you are done?

I think about this a lot, too. A small part of me thinks it would be nice to give DD a sibling but the large part of me doesn't want another child. I have no desire to go through pregnancy and the newborn stage again. DH and I also work a lot and don't get to spend as much time with DD as we like so I'm really not ok with having to split "her" time with another baby. Quite honestly, when I picture our future I do not picture another child. I'm also a huge worrier and cannot fathom worrying about TWO children. One is putting me over the edge.

In the end, I think being an only child with a happy mom is better for DD than a sibling with a mom who is drained and on the verge of a stroke.

I will say, at no point so far (DD is 15 months) have I ever felt a tinge of sadness over not being pregnant again or having a newborn. I look back on those time periods as the hardest things I've ever gone through. If you have those feelings I wouldn't do anything permanent just yet. You have plenty of time!

Re: How did you know you are done?

Because my oldest will be 6 in May, my second will be 4 in 2 weeks, my twins just turned 2 yesterday, and my youngest is 9 months. Need I say more?

How did you know you are done?

I have a 2.5 yo Dd, and a 4 mo ds. While part of me I think will always want 4, or even 5, I'm done with 1 more. I don't like being pregnant, I don't particularly enjoy delivery, and I'm not a huge fan of nursing. I have easy pregnancies, and I almost feel bad that I don't want to do it even more than 3 times, but as of now I'm done after the next one

Re: How did you know you are done?

My only advice is if he doesn't get snipped, be very careful.

We weren't completely sure after our twins were born if we were done. When they were around 6 months old, life started to get a little normal again. I actually started losing weight and things were going well. DH always says the world is built for 4, not 5.

We also went through IF hell. Well, when they were 8 months old we got pregnant with our 3rd. DH was in complete shock! He wanted to pee on the stick that he couldn't believe the results

So my 3rd is 17 months younger than my twins. To say life is insane is an understatement. I have all boys and my youngest has autism (another unexpected surprise). Do you know people still ask us if we are "going for the girl?". DH looks at them and says she can do whatever she wants but I am done having kids, so if there's another one it sure as hell ain't mine.

We are done, done, done! And he still won't get snipped. So annoying! So I am on the pill and we are still paranoid. Dr said pill is 98% effective and DH said that's it?!?! He asked dr what is 100% effective? Dr said oh that's easy....ABSTINENCE

How did you know you are done?

I had hypermesis with dd#1 and have it again with this pregnancy. I was on the fence with #2 but decided I wanted a 2nd more than I didn't want a 2nd. With that being said I will never get pregnant again. I've already planned to sell or give away everything once this one is born and outgrows things. I'm 38 and I don't ever want to be pregnant again. I don't want anymore kids and if I get an itch for a baby I will borrow a baby and give them back. I think if i closed shop with just 1 I would have felt incomplete. I now just want to survive this pregnancy and hold dd#2.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I will never be done

Infertility wise we have used all our options

So unless a miracle happens. I will always want more but it's not likely to happen

After saying that I'm totally happy with my twins now

Re: How did you know you are done?

I would have loved for my daughter to have a sibling, but DH and I are in our mid and late 40s and think it would be too risky. I don't feel like our family is incomplete and I love the idea that I can give all the attention to my daughter. I honestly can't imagine living anyone else more. I a happy with us being a family of three although I miss the baby stage like crazy.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I am with you. I just had my second after IF issues also. I feel very sad that this is my last. I don't think I can do it again, I am lucky it happened for me a second time (and a first). However, I am not sure when I will officially rid myself of the items that officially close the door in my mind. I think it's partly post partum. I feel such a sadness that I am no longer pregnant. I actually miss it to some extent.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I'm not 100% that I'm done, but the more that time passes, I am realizing that I might be...we have 3...I would have liked to go for that 4th, but honestly, childcare is expensive, leaving my job is not an option for me, we have a house that we like and don't really have room for a 4th comfortably, though we could definitely all fit. My girls are also involved in expensive hobbies that I don't really want to have to limit or not be able to give everyone the opportunity to do what they love. Starting over is also hard for me to imagine...my oldest is going to be 10 and my youngest is going to be 4...life is starting to feel totally under control at this point and we can do anything without diaper bags and pre-planning...holding a baby always gave me a longing feeling, and now, its starting to fade a bit, maybe because I'm realizing that you can't keep going forever!

Re: How did you know you are done?

I know because when I would hold babies after I had my kids I would think you are adorable, I am so happy for your parents, but I don't feel the same pull or yearning I did before I had my kids. I am content giving the child back to their parents. My kids are now in elementary school and I don't miss baby years. My SIL is due with her first and I am really excited to be an aunt.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I have 2 and an trying for a 3rd. My husband is pretty adamant that 3 is the limit. We have a 4 bedroom home and he wants everyone to have their own room. I am already sad thinking this will be my last pregnancy, last time bringing a baby home, last time dressing a little newborn, giving them all the cuddles and I didn't even get pregnant yet lmao maybe after I will feel done. I'm hoping so at least because i don't want to always yearn for more.

How did you know you are done?

I'm 100% on the fence - lol. If we weren't dealing with IF, we'd have a second. I do not love the newborn/infant phase, but I'd be willing to do it again to have a toddler!

How did you know you are done?

I don't know if I'll ever feel done. The logical part of my brain knows we should not have any more children for several reasons but I think my heart will always yearn for a third.

How did you know you are done?

I always thought I wanted four. We just had our second 4 months ago and part of me feels done. Could just be that I'm tired and feel like I have nothing left to give at the moment. I think if we go for another it won't be for a few years. My boys are 18 months apart and it's perfect in so many ways. And I feel like it will only get better as they get older. But I can't lie, having a girl would be nice but at the same time I feel in my bones that I'm destined to be a boys' mom lol. I can't say for sure if I am done or not, but I am done at this very moment...maybe once DS1 starts kindergarten I'll entertain the idea.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I always told DH I wanted 3 kids. I had my Step daughter and DD and was happy with 2 that we tried for our third.It was right after being told after my 2nd miscarriage in 2 years, that it would be difficult to conceive without the use of IF treatments that we gave up. It was hard to accept but we did.. still longing for another but accepting.

then a year later we find out #3 is on the way!! And now after feeling incredibly crappy this entire pregnancy....DH and I have decided, we've hit our quota we're done. It's just a feeling you get, you know you're done.

Re: How did you know you are done?

Def. don't make any decisions right now.... Or for a little bit. After our first, DH and I literally ran to get an IUD and vowed we would never want more children bc we were in shock after DD was born. The newborn phase was the worst for us... After a while life started to get back to normal and we adjusted. Here we are 3 years later and are talking about wanting another baby.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we 100% believed we were DONE bc we were overwhelmed and now that the feeling has passed, we want another. We'll def be done after #2 lol

Re: How did you know you are done?

For a variety of reasons, we're done after this one. We always planned on 3. My boys will be almost 9 and 5 when #3 arrives. Part of me thinks we're crazy for starting over just as we're leaving FT daycare, but I knew we weren't done when I had DS2.

Now that I'm in my second trimester and feeling better, I'm trying to enjoy my last pregnancy and I know I'll try to soak up all of the newborn/infant moments. There's something bittersweet about knowing this will be your last and never experiencing certain moments or stages again.

DH has no desire to get snipped. I only have 1 tube now and I'm sure my doctor will talk to me about tying it during my c-section. I don't think I'm going to do that though. As much as I feel we're done, I don't want to take that step to permanently close the door. You never know what the future may hold.

How did you know you are done?

I'd love a third, but not as a working mom. I was exhausted during my pregnancy, to the point I almost fell asleep While driving. And I nursed which sucked the time away. So if I had a third, we would use formula. And we can't afford another in daycare. But we recently got a puppy. After dealing with toddler diarrhea and puppy poop, I'm done! Two and through.

Message edited 3/12/2017 12:14:49 PM.

How did you know you are done?

When I found out I was pregnant with #2. The 146 total hours of induced labor between both kids sealed the deal.

Re: How did you know you are done?

Re: How did you know you are done?

Posted by JME78

Posted by NoPlaceLikeHome

I don't know if I'll ever feel done. The logical part of my brain knows we should not have any more children for several reasons but I think my heart will always yearn for a third.

Same