Re: How did you know you are done?

Because we TTC #3 with no luck and now we're turning 42 and my youngest is turning 4 so to start over now would be crazy. Therefore, even though we always wanted 3, we're done. We're both happy though, our family feels complete. We have a boy and a girl and we don't get upset when we think about not having a third.

Re: How did you know you are done?

When both of my kids were very sick at the same time... I knew right then that we were done. It was so chaotic that I couldn't imagine having to juggle a 3rd.

How did you know you are done?

i really think its something you just know.
for us... the only way i can get pregnant is IVF with a donor egg. SOO we decided to adopt. Our son is 6, and we adopted him from Korea when he was 2 (so like 4.5 years ago). He is our entire world, i feel like adopting him is the best thing we ever did I always wanted more than 1 kid (i grew up with a sister, and just always like the idea of my kids having sibling to grow up with). AND in our case, DS is the only kid on BOTH sides of the family- he has no cousins, no siblings... and that killed me :-/ i wanted him to have another kid in the family to play with- even to argue with HAHA i was (and still am) EXHAUSTED from being his only source of entertainment at home! even a sibling to fight with would at least distract him from bugging me!!! LOL
It was just a feeling i had. if he was playing by himself, i wouldn't think " oh good!! a few minutes to myself!!" I would think "aww. i wish he had another kid to play with..." i would look at family pictures of the 3 of us and something just didn't seem right- it seemed like somebody was missing...
SOOOO we're adopting again another little boy from Korea, who is 3. so the boys will be 3 years apart we leave in a couple weeks to go bring him home i know it'll be exhausting--- but i'm looking forward to watching them become buddies

How did you know you are done?

The biggest factor in my desire to have more than 1 is the fact that I am an only child. Even though there are days where being a mom is just so hard, and I am exhausted, and I feel like another child will never compare in a million years to my DS, I feel a need to give him a sibling or two. As an only child, it can be lonely at times. I am only speaking from experience. I always wanted a sibling. I always wanted that connection. When I started dating DH and saw the dynamic he has with his siblings, I was dumbfounded. It was something I just never could understand as an only child. Even though there are trying days, I picture growing old and having my grown children around us at the dinner table with their families... I want that.

How did you know you are done?

we felt done after 2. we have 2 healthy, wonderful boys and felt our family was complete. i had no desire to be pregnant again or go through the newborn sleepless stage again. our house and cars were perfect for 2. then we had a whoops and i am expecting #3. i am SO done that i am thinking we both get fixed after this to guarantee no more accidents!

you will know when you are done. it's early still.

Re: How did you know you are done?

How did you know you are done?

Just a feeling you get for sure. I knew after we had DS that I wanted another baby. I just felt the need to give him a sibling. It was very strong. Now that we have a DD, I feel complete. I KNOW that we are done.

Re: How did you know you are done?

We have gone back and fourth for years now on having the 3rd. There were days my Dh was all for it and days I was but it never seemed to be at exactly the same time. We had fertility treatments with both of our dc and have always said if it happen naturally we would be so happy but we just can't pull the trigger to go ahead and return to the doctor for any real effort. I've never had the done feeling. I always wonder what if? The main thing now is the age gap. My youngest goes off to Kindergarten next year and I feel like the gap is too large now. When I think of an empty house though my heart hurts. I can't see a 3rd in my future but I don't feel done.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I have to say that reading these posts makes me feel better. My older DD just turned 8 and my baby is 20 months. It took almost 4 years to have the baby....many miscarriages, failed IVF...and I'm 41. DH (45) would kill for another baby. I know in my heart that I would struggle so much to conceive and carry another baby and my age is also a risk factor. Still, I wish I could have another. I don't think I will ever feel "done" and reading your posts that you feel this way too brings me a lot of comfort. Good to know I'm not the only one.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I don't think I'll ever feel done. I have 3 boys and I would so love to have a girl. I dreamed about having a daughter for as long as I can remember. But finances, age, house size etc. make it impractical for us to have another and of course there's no guarantee of a girl anyway. So I'm happy with my family and grateful for every blessing I have, but I think I'll always feel a little incomplete. Hopefully I'll get a really awesome DIL in the future!

Re: How did you know you are done?

I'm 38yo and just had our third child last month. I am 1000% done. For me, it is a mix of age and getting my girl after having boys. I know that may be unpopular but it is honest. I wanted to have a girl. If I had 3 boys, I may have still wanted a little girl even if we never went for a fourth child.

How did you know you are done?

I wasnt done. We tried for a few months but my cycles became completely off and crazy so i took it as a sign... Also my business suffered after i had Jillian and its just starting to get back on track and i really dont want to go thru that again. So were done. I see enough babies in my job lol

Re: How did you know you are done?

My twins will be 2 in May and currently, I have major baby fever.
Prior to even being pregnant I thougt that I'd be happy with just one. Well...ha! Joke was on me because I ended up pregnant with spontaneous identical twins. I had a really stressful, rough pregnancy..though I consider myself lucky because it could have been ten times worse, I did enjoy being pregnant. Newborn stage literally sucked the life out of us. And even though my two still don't sleep through the night, we have a solid routine and have finally figured out how to be human again (LOL). I find myself really missing those tiny babies and I really want a third. I NEVER thought I would want more than two at the most and now here I am wanting a third. God willing we can have another but I know if we never tried, I would be sad.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I wouldn't make any permanent decisions that soon after giving birth. I would give yourself two years to figure it out. I had three, tried for a fourth but it didn't work out. We could have kept trying but I had a miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities so that combined with my other three children getting older and easier, I just knew I was done. I never thought that I would have the feeling that I was done but I have it now and it does feel good!

How did you know you are done?

I have 3 kids ages 4, 3 and 1. I should feel done! Most days I think I am out of my mind for not feeling done. When I was pregnant with my 3rd I swore I was done. I had a hard pregnancy and I never wanted to go through it again. But once she was born I didn't feel that way anymore. I'm not sure if we will have another baby but I don't think I will ever feel done. I love being a mom and I love babies. I think it will be a decision we will make eventually, but I don't think I will ever have the feeling of being done.

How did you know you are done?

I always wanted two, we have two. For a brief period after my DD I struggled with the whole this is it, our last baby, and considered a 3rd. I work, my husband works, it just seems we would be spreading ourselves too thin. We are good with two, most days, some days even the two is stressful and in those moments I realize that a 3rd would really put stress on us and our kids so we are done.

Neither of us is permanently "fixed" and we are young enough that if something changes, either our mind or our situation we COULD have another and I like having that option even though I am almost certain we won't use it.

My husband truly has no desire for me, he has our life as a family of four all mapped out so there's that too--if he really wanted it I could be swayed and if I really wanted I bet I could sway him but we are both content w our family of four.

Message edited 3/15/2017 11:05:23 AM.

Re: How did you know you are done?

Even though we are done, I will never actually feel "done." I mean, realistically, I am really well beyond the age one would want to be pregnant and have a baby, my DH only wanted 3 (well really he wanted 2!), my health would be in jeopardy after 3 c-sections, and the kids I do have are already 11, 9, and 6...so yeah, we're done...although I will always think of that "what if" 4th baby.

Re: How did you know you are done?

We are done for financial and other reasons but I do not feel done.

How did you know you are done?

I have 2 kids. And I feel pretty done. Not 100% sure, but pretty close. It's so hard to do normal things while pregnant and with a young baby, and I just feel ready to start enjoying life again with my kids and husband. We love taking our kids to fun places and I'm looking forward to be able to go where ever we want, whenever we want, without having to worry about naps, diapers, meltdowns, nursing, etc etc....plus I have some health issues from my last pregnancy that I don't want to make worse. My belly had gotten so big that my ab muscles ripped and now I have a hernia that limits my ability to do certain things. Also, when my ob did my c-section, he said my uterus was stretch so thin it could have ruptured. So the possibility of that happening scares me. I want to be as healthy and fit as possible for the kids I have now. And not in worse shape with more kids to take care of. With that being said,a part of me feels sad when I rock my almost 1 year old to sleep and think about how pretty soon I won't have a baby to take care of ever again. I'm trying to soak up as much "baby time" as I can with him.

Message edited 3/15/2017 11:59:05 AM.

Re: How did you know you are done?

I amend my original answer. Two days home with two crazy boys and I feel pretty okay about being done right now!

How did you know you are done?

I struggle with this everyday. I have 2 but the first we went through IF and I was told my eggs were old and my reserve was poor. Low and behold 15 months after my DS was born, I got pregnant again. My two boys are my entire world, but I always wanted a little girl. I know if we have a third it will be another boy, and I am okay with that. My DH doesn't want anymore kids. Both of my kids get Ei/CPSE services. We both work full time. We would be spread too thin. As it is we can't both be together on Saturdays because one of us needs to be at tee ball and the other at soccer. If we had a third I feel as though we would be spread way too thin. I cry about it all the time, but its not in the cards for us. I am also turning 37 so while I have time, I can't imagine getting out of the diapers stage totally and then going back years later.
I am jealous of people who know they are done..because in one breath I say I am and in the next I am crying for just one more.

Message edited 3/16/2017 12:40:21 PM.