How do I explain death to my 5 year old

I'm afraid to have this conversation that will be taking place within a few days. A family member is very ill, she's extremely close with them. I'm afraid to say they were sick and went to heaven. I do not want her to think whenever you are sick that is where you go. I have a few books on hand, but really want to speak to her about it.

How do I explain death to my 5 year old

I had to explain it with my 3 year old. My step FIL passed away after being quite sick from lung cancer. We never hid the fact that grandpa was sick so he saw him in the hospital and was ever there very near the end. Then I just told him that grandpa is an angel now. I didn't get too detailed but let him know he won't be beck etc. he ask questions here and there. I figured tel, him some and let him ask from there.

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

Just went thru this with my 4.5 & 5.5 year olds. My aunt who spoke with my kids daily & they saw every couple months passed away suddenly. She was never sick but she use to say a lot that she didn't want to live. My kids had heard that & we explained that once you get much older, sometimes you go up to heaven so you can become an angel. Even though she wasn't sick, I didn't want to associate in their minds sick & death.

My 4.5 year old asked a lot of questions about how will they see or talk to her again. I explained that she was with God, now would be their forever personal angel & that she will be with them everyday, all day. I said you can talk to her but she will only listen & not really respond. It seemed to make them at ease & it went smooth

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

Almost a year ago I had to explain it to my then 4.5 year old when his Dad died... My cousin who owns a funeral home told me to tell him the truth.. That he got VERY, VERY sick and died. He went to heaven.. My husband passed away very suddenly. My son never once got afraid when he was sick that he was going to die.. Just tell them the truth. They understand more then we think...

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

It's best not to give the "she's sick and died" explanation because then kids tend to equate getting sick themselves with death, or worry when others get sick around them. If the person was elderly, I'd leave it at that. Otherwise, leave it more general. But don't say "sick."

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

I was honest

AJ was 5 when Dad died
Link to my post on it

I promised myself I'd be honest.

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

I've always read you should tell children the truth. I'm preparing myself for this now. My grandma has cancer and isn't doing well it doesn't look good. My girls are so close to their great Grammy. I've started to tell them that Great Grammy is very very sick. When they see the nurses come in and out I tell them that Grandma has boo boos and we give her medicines to help her feel more comfortable. When she passes I plan to tell them that she died because she was very old and sick and that body didn't work anymore. My girls are 2&4.

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

How do I explain death to my 5 year old

When my mom passed this year I spoke with some child life specialists and they recommended a few books. One was called The Invisible String. My bff also picked up a book about heaven (we're Christian). Very helpful.

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

Thanks everyone. We read a book the other day to her, explained it in a truthful way but kept it short. She was extremely upset...did not understand why she could not see him "just one more time." Someone bought my the invisible string...I'm going to read it to her today.

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

We told DS that his grandma (who had cancer) had the kind of sick where you dont get better. He knew she wasnt well for a while. We explained that she went to heaven and we cant see her anymore but we can talk to her. She can always hear us. It took about a month for everything to really sink in and he recently started talking more of her and being gone and drawing her pictures. Kids are strong.

Message edited 4/19/2015 7:57:13 AM.

Re: How do I explain death to my 5 year old

I didnt explain it that they were sick bc I had the same fear. I told them that everyone has a special job on earth and then a special job in heaven. When you finish your special job on earth, God needs you to be an angel and thats your new special job. I told them that their great-grandfathers special job was finished here on earth and that God needed him in heaven to help take care of and be a special angel to help him watch over and take care of the entire family. They didnt really question "when" your job will be done and accepted that answer. HTH, soory for what you are going through.