How do I get her to stop hitting? Pls help!

This morning I dropped DD at day care and her little friend N came up to her, I think trying to take a toy out of DD's hand (or vice versa) and DD just slapped N right in the face.

A few minutes later N was within striking distance - and again I think there was a toy involved - and DD slapped her.

I was HORRIFIED. But not surprised.

DD has hit me too, right across the face. I'll tell her NO HITTING when it happens but she usually starts to laugh. I don't know how to make it stop but I can't deal.

I'll be honest - I was hit as a kid so it takes all of my mental strength to restrain myself from hitting her back, just because that is what I know - but it's not how I want to raise DD and I don't know how to make it sink in that we don't hit.

Any advice would be appreciated!!

Re: How do I get her to stop hitting? Pls help!

Ryan's starting to get fresh too and I told DH we MUST nip this is the bud. I do not want my kid to be the one that hits others in daycare, or his cousins. I realize it's going to happen - but I won't be the parent who just blows it off.

Anyway, I tried the "naughty chair" the one time he smacked me good. I don't think he got it and he basically just threw a tantrum while I held him in a corner - but I'm trying to start showing him there is a consequence.

Re: How do I get her to stop hitting? Pls help!

Re: How do I get her to stop hitting? Pls help!

Re: How do I get her to stop hitting? Pls help!

We've tried separating as much as possible. If Kaydyn hits she gets a stern "We do not hit"...if she hits again then we separate her from us...whether it's taking her off the couch and putting her on the floor, putting her down if we are holding her...etc.

If she hits again then she gets put in the playpen for 1 min....when we take her out after the min then we reiterate that we do not hit.

I would say if you put her in the time out and she hit you again after, if you can stay calm put her back in time out.

I think it's gonna take a bit for them to understand the concept of time out...but they need to learn consequences. It's sooooo hard.

ETA: I think you did the right thing by putting her in the crib when you were getting frustrated...that way you could calm down and she could calm down.

Message edited 7/17/2009 12:24:21 PM.

Re: How do I get her to stop hitting? Pls help!

DD has hit me. When she does, I give her one warning and say "we do not hit". If she does it again, it's time out.

If she tries to leave her time out, I sit down and physically hold her in time out without talking to her. When time is up, I remind her that we do not hit.

When she comes out of time out, if she hits again (which she has), she goes right back in. We continue until she stops.

Now, I am starting to put her directly in time out with not warning, i.e. if she hits, we say "girls who hit go into time out" and off she goes.

She cries in time out. But I think that is good, shows she isn't enjoying it.

Just wanted to add, I hate the hitting and I can always tell when it is coming because she looks at me like she is contemplating it.

It doesn't happen often, but it's enough that she should be able to learn her lesson.