How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

My lord, today was the most trying day of parenting in a LONG time. Ava woke up while I was in the shower, and JT had just gotten home from work, so he went in to get her and she sat in bed screaming, "NO! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT YOU! I WANT MOMMY!" until I got out of the shower. I walk into her room and the switch flips and she stops screaming and says, "Hi, Mommy! How are you? I love you! Hey, Daddy, look at my blanket, blah, blah, blah, blah......" on and on and on. Sunny attitude.
Fast forward an hour. We go to dance class and she needs to use the bathroom. She freaks the fluck out because I brought her to use the bathroom in the dance studio and not the extra potty that I carry in my trunk for emergencies only. She sits on the potty and grabs my next and hugs me and tells me she loves me. We go back over to the door to the studio and she flips out again about going into dance I throw her in the room, shut the door and she's fine Then we were in the store and she was all chipper and skipping around and having a grand old time, then she all of a sudden freaked out on me and ran away from me It was so bad, I sat her on the floor of BRU and gave her a time out. Then, we were in the car, she was singing to the Backyardigans CD and I was talking to my sister about how to make her own applesauce for her son, and Ava freaked out and started screaming, "I'M MAD! I'M MAD THAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT APPLESAUCE! NO APPLESAUCE!!!!!" So, I ignored her, and the next thing I know, she says to me, "Ok, Mommy. I'm happy again."

When I tell you this is just a small portion of the mood swings I witnessed today, I'm not kidding. For every hour I spent with Ava today (which was every waking hour so far), she had at least 4 mood swings and they were extremely drastic. I practically threw her in bed and ran out of the room at bedtime because I just couldn't take it anymore. I try to stay as calm as possible, but I really am ready to pull my hair out. I tried SO hard not to yell at her today, but to talk her through it or ignore it, but I did end up yelling at her a few times because I was frustrated, too. Ugg. So, please, tell me what works for your toddler before I go crazy!

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

DS does this and do the same things you do including practically throwing him to bed sometimes. I really wish I knew what set him off but I don't. He hates when I go in the room to get him in the morning especially Mondays because he doesn't get to see DH a lot and DH gets him on the weekends. I leave the room and tell him he is staying in their until he is done because daddy isn't home or "he is working on the car" (for some reason he doesn't like that he works and only wants him to be doing things).

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

Thanks, Adrianna. I'm sorry you're dealing with the same thing. It's 7:30 and already we've had one major mood swing

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

My DD is a year younger than yours, but I am experiencing the same thing (less verbally and much more whiny/moany/groany ) and it is driving me insane. I was even thinking of making a post about it since it really is getting to me. Sorry for the lack of advice, but I'm just happy to know that it's not only my toddler that has these constant, unpredictable mood swings.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

I'm right their with you...we had 1 mini meltdown. What drives me to drink though is the whining . All of sudden I am suppose to understand his whinning screaming along with a half babbling DD (although she is really is saying alot these days). I don't recall that language class in college otherwise I would've gotten a masters in it

I know that you and JT aren't really ready to put her in school but maybe she is bored at home? Even just putting her in class that is 2 days a week for 2.5 hours each day.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

I think it is definately a girl thing, moody and cranky. Brianna does the same thing I just sometimes ignore her if Im able to. Its tough, they are trying to express themselves and man they do a great job sometimes.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

I think you ignoring it is the best idea. Ava is WAY too smart for her own good. Think about it, every single time you ignored her she went back to happy. You closed the door in dance class...HAPPY, you ignored her tantrum to applesauce...Happy, you put her straight in her room...buh-bye...Happy. Do you think she likes the time outs as much as my dd? Maybe when you give her the time out she is loving the attention? I wonder what would have happened if JT just walked out and you never came...would she have still gone on? or would she have stopped and knew you werent coming and maybe then go to JT on her own terms.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

I used to work in a psych ward & consider most toddlers to be similar - a bundle of emotions and no coping mechanism to get everything out in a socially acceptable way. I don't think it's a girl thing, I think it's a toddler thing.

While you'd like her to have a better handle on her emotions (that will come late with some emotional maturity - which I think they lose again from the ages of 13-20), it sounds like what you'd like to change is the extreme actions of yelling?

You can tell her it hurts your ears or that you won't listen to her if she yells.
I try to ignore most of them. I find if you pander to their moods (like getting mommy) it gets worse. If they are freaking out, most of the time we say "when you're calm, you can come out" or just step over them.

Not sure I answered your question...

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

It must be something in the air, or the moon, I swear!!!! Hailey was doing the exact same thing yesterday. Driving me nuts! Even my friend asks me now "which Hailey is she". She looks at my mil with these evil eyes and tells her "no, don't kiss me, I am going to be freshy to you" and then 2 minutes later she says "I am going to tell Jason (her big brother, my SS) that I am sorry for taking his rubber bands last night". One second she is ripping cards off the shelf in CVS and the next she is telling me "I luf you, your my bestest and I am so glad your here". Crazy. So in other words, I have no advice because I am going to be in the rubber room right with you.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

Rachel sorry you're going through a difficult time. As hard as it is, just stand your ground - I know it's mentally and physically exhausting but it will only get worse if you don't. I think you did the right thing at BRU - you reacted to her behavior right away which is important.

Welcome to having a daughter. If you think her mood swings are bad now, just wait until she hits puberty...

Message edited 3/1/2009 10:03:00 AM.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

Rachel, this is my life EVERY day. Alex is the WORST, moodiest, most tempermental pre-teen on earth! Truth is, just last night Dh told me he thinks she has a serious personality disorder and suggested we have her evaluated And he was SERIOUS. I had to reassure him that some kids are just moodier, more spirited and more tempermental than others.

When Alex starts acting up, on her worst days, I send her to her room until she can calm down. I also explain to her that Mommy and Daddy will not respond to her while she's having a fit, and that she needs to use her words, and calmly when something is upsetting her.

And again, I use incentives. When she's starts acting out, I tell her that it is her last warning before I take something away (i.e. no books at bedtime, no movie, etc). Slowly she's learning that the fits are detrimental for her. She still has them, but I'm finding she can snap herself out of them easier and quicker than she used to.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

BTDT. Luca has days where I swear he's possesed. His moods can be so drastic and, like Ava, the outbursts are always short lived. And he's the same way about DH. He freaks if DH goes to his room and screams bloody murder until I get there. Tells DH "go away" and "I don't want you" and I feel so bad for DH.

Re: How do you deal with your older toddler's mood swings?

Well, on the one hand, I'm glad we're not alone. On the other hand, I'm sorry you girls are having the same issues.
I've been trying a new time out with her. I just put her in time out and tell her when she's ready to use her words like a big girl she can come out of time out. It seems to be working because I'm just walking away from her and going about my business. I feel like with the timed time out, she knows she can sit there and freak out until the 2.5 minutes are over and then apologize and get up like it didn't happen, then do it all over again and sit for another 2.5 minutes. It's like she's too smart for the timed time outs. So we're trying this.
She went under the diningroom table before and wouldn't come out again, and this time I just told her that she better stay under there in time out until she was ready to come out and wash her hands (it was after breakfast). That seemed to work like a charm. Ugg. It's never a dull moment!