How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

My father has cancer and he has been having Chemo and dealing with this for over a year now. This is the 3rd time he has had to fight this battle in the last 15 years. Lately every time I see him I want to cry but usually do not because I dont want him to see that I am upset. He is constantly saying that he does not want any of us to worry about him and that he is fine and blah blah blah....BUT he is my FATHER and means the WORLD to me so i will alwasy worry.

It just seems to be harder and harder to stay strong. He goes for a CT scan on monday to find out if the Chemo is helping so please keep him in your prayers We really could use some good news!!

Thank you

Message edited 5/4/2011 11:01:37 AM.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

I don't really have any good advice. My dad survived cancer many years ago and we lost FFIL to cancer after a long battle last year. It's never EVER easy. for good news.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

My dad is a survivor and it was hard too for me when he was going through treatment and he didn't even need chemo, it was just radiation type of treatment. the only thing I could say is spend quality time with him, do things together and have meals together . he knows how much you love him and doesn't want this to be bothersome for you.

Prayers to GREAT test results.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Heartfelt prayers for your dad that he gets great test results !

You find your inner strength and get thru it.
I was my mom's caregiver when she was sick with cancer and ultimately died of it. It was hard, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

I let it out in the shower so no one could hear me, and sometimes sat in my closet and cried. For me it was a good way to release some of the tension and frustration, the feeling of helplessness.

DH was my BF back then and he really didn't understand so he couldn't really help me.
Then his mom got sick and he finally understood.

Be positive - being negative just saps your energy.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

When I went through it with my mom we kept things as normal as possible when with her. we joked, laughed, shopped. All the things we always would do. At night I would go home and cry. It is so hard.

MAJOR HUGS

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

I would fall apart. Probably end up in the hospital myself.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this and many prayers to your father.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Thank you!

I make sure we spend as much time with him as we can. My DD brings him such happiness. He is not confined to his bed or anything and can still do normal things he just gets tired faster than anyone else, but we do try to include him in anything and everything that we do to help him keep his mind off of it as well as us and just to keep making memories with him while we have the chance. Plus if this is hard on me I can only imagine what my mother is going through...we all seem to hide our pain around him but we all make sure we are helping each other.

Thanks again everyone!

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

I've watched a few close relatives fight with illness for a long time, the most difficult to watch being my grandfather. It is NOT easy, but the best advice I can give is to just take it one day at a time. Cherish the good days and try to plow through the bad days.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Oh sweetie...I can't even imagine how hard it is for you guys

As an above poster said, I know it is tough, but continue to see him as much as possible. And with your mom, see if there is anything you can do with her to help her cope during this time.

And I want you to know...if there is anything you or your family needs...please let me know

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

First of all... to you

No matter what try adn stay positive.

My boyfriend's mother just lost her battle to cancer last week and we just buried her on Monday. She was diagnosed with lung cancer 10 years. She quit smoking 30 years ago.

I can tell you the past 6 months were so difficult. This last month was just horrible. He is having such a difficult time with it because they were really close.

Definitely see your dad as much as possible. My boyfriend went to see his mom every day. I was there almost every day. You will find your inner strength and sometimes you will amaze yourself with what you will do for them.

Don't be afraid to cry with them. Some of my favorite times were crying with his mom. Tears are a beautiful gift especially when we can share them with the ones we love.

I hope and pray you will get good news!

I wish cancer would get cancer and it would stop!

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Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

I wish I had good advice........ I just don't. I found that the only thing I could really do was be there and honor his wishes as best I could. When he wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, we pretended. When he wanted to be mad, we were mad. When he didn't want to deal with the doctors, I dealt with them.

I did my best to let him know how much I loved him, it's really all you can do.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Message edited 5/4/2011 6:01:47 PM.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

I am glad I can always come on here and get some support!!

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

my FIL was just diagnosed with AML (Leukemia) in January. He didnt get out of the hospital until 2 weeks ago. There was a point we didn't think he would make it. Most of the time he was delirious and hallucinating so we could have cried our eyes and he wouldnt have known. But once he came through and went to rehab, he cried in front of us (first time ever DH saw him cry). crying is not a weakness. it's a show of love and support. FIL needs to know we're all here for him and love him.

I'm really sorry you're going through this with your dad. I hope he pulls through again. but if you feel the need to cry just tell him you're crying because you're happy you're with him. don't make them into sad tears. just try to cherish any time there is...hopefully a lot of time!!

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

It's really really hard. MIL was fighting lung cancer for three years and it was extremly difficult to stay positive. But we did for HER. She knew that we were suffering but I truley feel that all the positivity around her helped her through those grueling years. We treated her the same but we still laughed and cried with her. She was still the parent and we leaned on each other. I think now even almost a year since her passing we are still letting out all those emotions that were held in for so long.

Many prayers for your father

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

So sorry... I went through the same thing with my mom. We lost her 11 months after diagnosis of stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Her wake was my DC's first birthday. It was a really hard time and I don't know how I stayed strong... I just had so much to do and take care of, and also keep mom happy, I had no time to be upset. Hang in there and enjoy every moment you can with your dad.

Re: How do you stay strong when a parent is sick

Prayers for great results

My father has severe emphysema and is on oxygen. I am a physical therapist so I am there not just as a daughter but a professional as well. Last year he had a bout of pneumonia and when I got to the er he was so bad I thought i was going to see him die in front of me. I've never been so scared in my life. I HAD to keep it together for him and also to not get thrown out of there so I could make sure they weren't screwing up.


Its so hard to keep it together, but rely on your support systems and make sure you can talk to others about it which helps.