How do you teach your kids...

to not be self-conscious?

For instance, if they have a particular physical feature that is unusual....something that possibly can attract negative attention.

Riley, unfortunately, got my crappy genes. A 50/50 shot...and she got it. As many of you know, she has EB, a skin disorder that makes her blister easily. If she has it even remotely like I did, the blistering will go away soon.

Blistering goes away...but not the deformed nails that come with it.

I have a thumb nail that is all messed up...and toenails too. My whole life I've dealt with the questions- what happened to your nail(s), etc. Was made fun of at times. As much as I love summer, I hate feeling like I can't wear open toed shoes.

It's looking like Riley will be in the same boat. Already her big toenails are growing atypically. And what's worse, and so many people are noticing- already she has a messed up thumbnail. It's seriously bruised (I have NO idea how that happened) and it almost looks like it's just gonna fall off at some point. Exactly like my thumbnail...it falls off once a year, as a new one is growing underneath it.

Sorry this is so long.....

Seriously though- how do I teach her to not feel so ashamed and self-conscious over it? I always tried to hide my thumbnail...at least my toenails were easy enough to hide. How do I teach her to stick up for herself? Or to come up with some kind of come-back?

Ugghhh I hate that she got this from me.

Thanks for listening

Re: How do you teach your kids...

well for one she has a great, supportive mommy to help her. if she knows u went through the same thing that could be helpful to her. im "kinda" going through the same thing. ive stuttered since i was a kid, and its hereditary. im terrified Ian will stutter too. but nothing i can do about it. but i will put him in Karate when he turns 3. theres a program up the block called the Little Ningas. everyone i talked to said Karate gave their kids discipline and confidence. so im hoping, if he does end up stuttering, he'll have the confidence to stand up for himself.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

Just tell her daily how beautiful she is. It will go a long way!

Re: How do you teach your kids...

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Just tell her daily how beautiful she is. It will go a long way!

Re: How do you teach your kids...

I think for starters you need to not be hard on yourself. It isn't your fault. We all pass things on to our children that we may not want them to have but that is genetics. Also, I agree with the others that you need to tell her how beautiful and amazing she is. If you explain that to her then she will be strong and be able to handle things. But she will also learn from you too.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

Well I would build up her self confidence in all areas and give her an answer to tell people who might ask.

If kids tease her put the blame on the other child. I always tell my children that when others are mean, they are having a bad day, maybe their mom forgot to feed them there favorite breakfast or something. You do not want her to feel like it is her fault, because honestly when kids are mean it is their problem, not the victims.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

i dont think that there is anything that you can do except to be 100% honest with her. everyone has SOMETHING that makes them different but that something doesnt make them any less valuable or a bad person.

i have KP (keratosis pilaris) and I remember hating my skin as a teen. i NEVER wore tank tops, i was so worried about how my arms would look in my wedding dress etc. You know what, I dont care anymore. It is what it is and I am so lucky, I could have something much worse and I dont.

remind her how beautiful she is. she is an individual and this makes her special, different from everyone else

Re: How do you teach your kids...

I don't know...but I do know a girl missing toes who wears flip flops.

she is gorgeous. I remember being taken back...not by what i saw, but the fact that she did not care.

I don't know...my baby is 6 mos old with a stork bite all over her forehead that hasn't faded. We get asked about it so often, pretty soon she will be able to answer for herself.

both of my kids have EARS. so does dh. it doesn't both dh at all, so maybe he will pass that on to them.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

Re: How do you teach your kids...

I love the advice above!

I would also teach her to say things very matter of factly.

We were driving in our car & my daughter asked my son's friend what was that huge lump on his ear.

He said "Oh that's my special part of my ear. I was born with it."

and our kids just accepted it.
Just like the accept the little girl that is the size of a kindergartner but is in 4th grade. The kids around her don't think anything about & they all adore her because she's got a great, sunny personality. Well that & she's the only girl that likes Star Wars so she has her pick of boyfriends.

Message edited 9/19/2010 9:43:07 PM.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

I don't have any advice but I'm sure you will be a great role model for her!

Re: How do you teach your kids...

I'm going to teach them it's whats on the inside that counts.
Tell them they are beautiful.
All the above advice is fantastic.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

I have had a skin condition since I was 6. No one ever picked on me because of it... instead they picked on my very long hair. Go figure. Imo if you are non chalant about something kids don't pick.

on the other hand, I knew kids who had my skin condition and looked at it like a terrible thing.

As for feet... I knew a girl with a 6th toe who wore sandals all the time and would be pedicured. She was proud of something that made her different.

Re: How do you teach your kids...

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Just tell her daily how beautiful she is. It will go a long way!