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MommaG
Yay Spring!
Member since 5/05 5133 total posts
Name:
Gloria
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How old is too old??
I wouldn't want to try past 40 due to concerns about my health and the health of the baby. I also think ahead - with a child born at 40, you will be 58 when they graduate high school and 62 with a Bachelor's degree. I'm not sure I would financially be able to handle that and retirement. I had my one and only at 37, and thought about another for quite a while, but ultimately decided one was perfect.
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Posted 4/3/14 4:59 PM  |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, no. Especially with two happy, healthy children. The risks of different issues are significantly higher at that age from a statistical perspective.
This. There are many uneventful pregnancies even with advanced maternal age but statistically you are more likely to have issues. My cousin had a her 2nd child at 39 and did have placental insufficiency due to her age. That caused iugr and a host of other complications. Her daughter has severe special needs.
If I didn't have any children I would definitely take the chance however, I'm currently almost 37 have two healthy children and have decided to quit while I'm ahead.
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| Posted 4/3/14 5:20 PM |
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readyfor3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/10 751 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
I know many women who had children in their early 40's. I think it depends on the person/couple.
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| Posted 4/3/14 5:24 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
I have always thought 35 for both mom and dad . I just turned 36 and if we don't go for #3 by this summer, #3 is off the table. It would also mean c section 3, so I feel worried about that. My DH is younger, one reason I was thinking maybe.
Message edited 4/3/2014 5:46:48 PM.
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| Posted 4/3/14 5:45 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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How old is too old??
I think the answer is different for everyone. Personally I did not want to be pregnant beyond 35 (Have worked retail over 15 years and it's been grueling on my body so I feel about 50) I have friends/colleagues who have been pregnant at 40. I was talking with a customer who had her first at 50 and she seemed happy!! I don't think there's any textbook answer for this. I am 33, have one DD and want another but I recently had a mmiscarriage so who knows, if we have trouble I may change my tune and dismiss age 35 as a my limit...
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| Posted 4/3/14 6:49 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by Jugglemom
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, no. Especially with two happy, healthy children. The risks of different issues are significantly higher at that age from a statistical perspective.
This. There are many uneventful pregnancies even with advanced maternal age but statistically you are more likely to have issues. My cousin had a her 2nd child at 39 and did have placental insufficiency due to her age. That caused iugr and a host of other complications. Her daughter has severe special needs.
If I didn't have any children I would definitely take the chance however, I'm currently almost 37 have two healthy children and have decided to quit while I'm ahead.
This is what scares me. I feel like as much as we would love a child regardless of what issues they may have it would really just change EVERYTHING if god forbid we had a baby born with special needs or health issues.
I keep thinking about how that would impact my two kids. And what it would mean for DH and I long term.......it would change so many future plans we have. It's scary, nothing would be like we had planned.
And like I said earlier, I'm really scared about another C-section. What if something goes wrong? What if there are complications?
It's just a lot. I know the odds are in my favor that everything will be fine and uneventful but there is always that "what-if" factor. I don't know if I want to take the risk.
I'm fortunate and blessed to have two great kids so part of me feels like I should quit while I am ahead and just enjoy them and enjoy all the fun things over the coming years. I am VERY happy with my two peanuts and if I never had another baby I would still be VERY happy, a third would just be another blessing to add to an already full, wonderful life.
I don't know. I am just back and forth, I can't seem to commit either way. I know I'll figure it out but it's a hard to make the decision that you're done having children. Another chapter closing. It makes me sad.
Thanks again for sharing your experiences and for the advice. 
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| Posted 4/3/14 7:28 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: How old is too old??
I would have a child at that age if I had gotten a later start or had issues conceiving. I know several people who had children in their early 40s and had no complications.
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| Posted 4/3/14 8:00 PM |
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beanie571
:-P
Member since 5/07 2509 total posts
Name:
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How old is too old??
I had my first right before I turned 39 and my second right after I turned 41. I am diabetic and had uneventful pregnancies even with those 2 strikes against me. I have 2 perfectly healthy and beautiful little girls.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
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| Posted 4/3/14 9:01 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
It really depends on you, your health, etc. I had #3 just shy of turning 40 (I had my first two at age 31 and 33). The pregnancy was an ok one, but I went through a ton of crap being labeled as "advanced maternal age". They thought something was wrong with the baby at my 12 week sono. Turns out he was fine. I did develop high blood pressure and I am still on medication for it more than 2 years later. I also had GD and now I am an increased risk for developing diabetes later on.
I don't look back ever and think I shouldn't have. In fact, I'd do it all over again if I could ;)
Message edited 4/3/2014 10:31:23 PM.
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| Posted 4/3/14 10:29 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: How old is too old??
I'm 40 and pregnant with my third, a total surprise baby. Plus, I have 3 blood clotting disorders. Other than being tired I can't say much is different, but I feel my tiredness is because I'm running around now with a preschooler and a Kindergartener, both have after school activities and such. I have more "risks" than the average 40 year old and yes, I'm having a tubal ligation during my c section. If you are overall healthy, go for it! I have been advised not to have more after this one by my OB but I know that's because of the blood clotting issues. I didn't even have an amnio because now they have the Verify blood test that you do a 10 weeks. You will likely be referred for genetic counseling, but that was the only thing that was different for me this time. I was 35 with my first and 36 with my second.
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| Posted 4/3/14 10:38 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: How old is too old??
There are people who have serious pregnancy complications, near death birth traumas, and babies born with various issues, etc. at young ages too!! I feel like there are more and more people ttc in their late 30s/40 now. I think you should do what you think is best, but I just wouldn't waste any time thinking about it. Seize the day 
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| Posted 4/3/14 10:41 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by PennyCat
There are people who have serious pregnancy complications, near death birth traumas, and babies born with various issues, etc. at young ages too!! I feel like there are more and more people ttc in their late 30s/40 now. I think you should do what you think is best, but I just wouldn't waste any time thinking about it. Seize the day
You sound like my mom. 
She keeps telling me to stop wasting eggs every month!! 
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| Posted 4/3/14 11:02 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: How old is too old??
I just had my 3rd at 44. The pregnancy was very uneventful, and he is perfect! I had in-depth genetic testing done due to DD#2's disability. Chromosomes were perfect. And my DD's issue is not at all related to maternal age. DS was a complete surprise, but am so happy to have him. And he really makes me want another...but we're definately done.
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| Posted 4/4/14 1:09 AM |
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Sixofus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 594 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
I don't think you are too old. I live in manhattan and practically every mother I know had at least one of their children after 35 - and in some cases well into their 40's. I had my last at almost 37 and my pregnancy was no different from my first at 29. I can understand wanting a third child - I wasnt "done" with two either. If you have your heart set on a third I think you should go for it.
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| Posted 4/4/14 6:51 AM |
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Snoopy36
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 665 total posts
Name:
Caille
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Re: How old is too old??
I think it's such a personal choice. For me I don't want kids after 35... Had my first at 28 & just had my 2nd at almost 32... My husband is getting snipped at the end of the summer
Message edited 4/4/2014 7:14:15 AM.
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| Posted 4/4/14 7:13 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: How old is too old??
I think it depends on so many personal factors, what might be right for one will be wrong for another.
If I had a late start, i.e. got married later, I would 100% try at 40 or even 45 with every intervention possible as I wanted kids that much.
But I had my kids at 29 and a month after turning 32. I personally felt for me once I reached 35 I would be done. I too had to have 2 c/s as both of my kids were breech babies. My first PG was insanely difficult but my second PG was a breeze. You never know.
I guess, if you still feel you are not done, you could give it the old college try, but for me I think if that did not work I would not seek out additional intervention. FWIW my mom had my youngest brother in her late 30s and many of my friends did not have their first child until they were between 36-39 and had their second at 40. I also know a few fathers who were in their early 50s when they had a child too. But this is the thing, it is not me or anyone else, it is what feels right in your gut, but I absolutely understand your hesitation. Best of luck with your decision.
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| Posted 4/4/14 10:18 AM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How old is too old??
I feel your pain. I will be 41 in a few months and DD is 2 1/2. She was conceived via IVF so we really need to figure out if we want to go through the whole fertility thing again. Part of me says let's go for it and part of me says I'm happy with one.
It's such a hard decision. I just wish I had more time.
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| Posted 4/4/14 10:24 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by nycgirl
Posted by melbalalala
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, no. Especially with two happy, healthy children. The risks of different issues are significantly higher at that age from a statistical perspective.
Agree, I'm not a big risk taker so this isn't for me. I'm lucky that I have two wonderful, perfect kids, I'm not going to press my luck 
I agree with this. Age of parents correlates with all syndromes (and autism).
I just wouldn't chance it over 40.
My personal cut off is 38.
I don't buy that autism "statistic". I had my son when I was in my 20's and he is on the spectrum. I know A LOT of other moms that also had kids in their 20's and 30's that have kids on the spectrum. In fact, I don't think I know any "older" parents with kids on the spectrum. I think these "studies", just grasp at straws for an answer.
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| Posted 4/4/14 1:00 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by nycgirl
Posted by melbalalala
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, no. Especially with two happy, healthy children. The risks of different issues are significantly higher at that age from a statistical perspective.
Agree, I'm not a big risk taker so this isn't for me. I'm lucky that I have two wonderful, perfect kids, I'm not going to press my luck
I agree with this. Age of parents correlates with all syndromes (and autism).
I just wouldn't chance it over 40.
My personal cut off is 38.
I don't buy that autism "statistic". I had my son when I was in my 20's and he is on the spectrum. I know A LOT of other moms that also had kids in their 20's and 30's that have kids on the spectrum. In fact, I don't think I know any "older" parents with kids on the spectrum. I think these "studies", just grasp at straws for an answer.
I agree. That risk would not stop me from having a child at an older age. Regardless of your age, when you choose to have a child you need to be willing to accept that they may have special needs. There is always a chance of that.
The only thing you mentioned that would really concern me would be the third cs. I would probably have a long talk with my doctor to get their opinion on that and decide from there.
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| Posted 4/4/14 1:05 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by melbalalala
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, no. Especially with two happy, healthy children. The risks of different issues are significantly higher at that age from a statistical perspective.
Agree, I'm not a big risk taker so this isn't for me. I'm lucky that I have two wonderful, perfect kids, I'm not going to press my luck
This. I know someone who had 2 healthy DDs wanted a 3rd had her 3rd at 39 and the child has some medical issues. I can't get that out of head. BUT I will say having 3 kids was never our plan. We said 2 MAYBE 3. So while I think to myself maybe we will have a 3rd its not something I am really passionate about doing.
Also another thing for us, is that, I want to still be young when they are grown, I want to enjoy my retirement years with my DH. And as of now I will be 55 when my youngest graduates college. To me that is pretty ideal. So that factors in to my age thought process too.
With that, my mom had me (her 3rd) at 38, her sister had her 3rd at 41, and I think my mom was born when my grandmother was in her late 30s or early 40s. (my mom was her 8th child though)
ETA: I had 2 great c/s so that doesnt factor into my decision at all, however if you had 2 bad experience I would probably not chance it either. when you had your DS your DD was older but if you had #2 and #3 closer it might be harder to manage if you had a rough recovery.
Message edited 4/4/2014 5:36:59 PM.
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| Posted 4/4/14 5:35 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by PennyCat
There are people who have serious pregnancy complications, near death birth traumas, and babies born with various issues, etc. at young ages too!! I feel like there are more and more people ttc in their late 30s/40 now. I think you should do what you think is best, but I just wouldn't waste any time thinking about it. Seize the day
You sound like my mom.
She keeps telling me to stop wasting eggs every month!!
I'm with your mom on this one. Plus, you make cute babies! 
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| Posted 4/5/14 12:35 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: How old is too old??
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by nycgirl
Posted by melbalalala
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, no. Especially with two happy, healthy children. The risks of different issues are significantly higher at that age from a statistical perspective.
Agree, I'm not a big risk taker so this isn't for me. I'm lucky that I have two wonderful, perfect kids, I'm not going to press my luck
I agree with this. Age of parents correlates with all syndromes (and autism).
I just wouldn't chance it over 40.
My personal cut off is 38.
I don't buy that autism "statistic". I had my son when I was in my 20's and he is on the spectrum. I know A LOT of other moms that also had kids in their 20's and 30's that have kids on the spectrum. In fact, I don't think I know any "older" parents with kids on the spectrum. I think these "studies", just grasp at straws for an answer.
I agree with this..honestly I think it's a crap shoot. I had my DD at 28 and my other friends had their DDs around the same time...we all had healthy kids thank God but some type of complication in our pregnancy. My other friend had life happen to her and didn't get started until she was 37. She had the easiest pregnancy out of all of us. She's 39 now and planning on trying in a few months for #2.
As for me I feel like I would be done now if IF didn't happen more for the age difference than for my age though. I'm 35 and definitely plan on having at least one more..maybe two. If you don't feel done I definitely would not do any drastic measures.
ETA: My grandma had my dad when she was 48 and he was perfectly healthy...this is back in the 1950s too.
Message edited 4/6/2014 7:53:54 PM.
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| Posted 4/6/14 7:51 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: How old is too old??
if i wanted another one, i wouldn't let age stop me.
My sister was 38 and 40 when my nieces were born. No complications at all.
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| Posted 4/7/14 1:24 PM |
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myminions
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/14 454 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old is too old??
Had my first at 39 and second at 41. No problems with either pregnancy and both are healthy. I originally did not want to have kids after 40 but it turned out that way and wanted two kids. If you want something that bad you go for it.
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| Posted 4/7/14 1:31 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: How old is too old??
In the very wise words of my grandmother... no one in the history of the world has EVER regretted having "just one more".
No one will say "I really wish I had not had that 3rd, or 4th.. or whatever" baby...
people DO say they regret NOT having another.
If you do not feel your family is complete, then I say go for it. You will never regret it... even if (god forbid) something were to go wrong.
But can you live with the "I wish I had just had another" for the rest of your life?
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| Posted 4/8/14 4:22 PM |
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